Why Did Christ Have to Be Born of the Virgin Mary?

Virgin births weren’t unusual in pagan times — just in the Judeo-Christian tradition. Here’s how sex got tangled up with the idea of sin, and by extension, chastity became the ultimate sign of virtue. 

Nativity, Birth of Jesus by Giotto, circa 1305

Early Christians needed their savior to have been born of a woman without sin, and that included the act of fornication. Greek myths could have influenced their theology.

Mary, the mother of Christ, is held up as one of a kind among humans for getting pregnant and giving birth without ever having sex. 

But believe it or not, so-called virgin births weren’t uncommon in the pagan world. Pythagorus, Plato and Alexander the Great were all said to have been born of virgins by the power of a holy spirit. 

Alexander the Great’s mom dreamed of a lightning bolt striking her vagina — and lo and behold! She became pregnant with the future king of Macedon. In antiquity, “virgin” births weren’t all that uncommon.

“Christians, aware of the antique pantheon, are still worried by the parallel between Christ’s story and the dozens of virgin births of classical mythology,” Maria Warner wrote in her 1976 work Alone of All Her Sex: The Myth and the Cult of the Virgin Mary.

So how exactly does one conceive without fornication? We can turn once again to paganism. In Greek mythology, the closest parallel seems to be when Zeus turned himself into a shower of gold and impregnated Danae, who gave birth to the hero Perseus.   

Danaë and the Golden Shower by Andrea Casali, circa 1750

The Greek myth of Zeus impregnating a woman in the form of a golden rain could have inspired the form the Holy Ghost took with the Virgin Mary.

The Greek god Zeus metamorphosed into a swan to couple with Leda. Did this bird imagery inspire the Holy Ghost’s representatoin as a dove?

Then again, the Holy Ghost is often depicted as a dove, and in another encounter, Zeus, that shapeshifting, lecherous cad, adopted the form a bird as well: He became a swan to seduce (or, perhaps, rape) Leda, mother of Helen of Troy, the twins Castor and Pollux, and another daughter, Clytemnestra.

The Annunciation by Fra Angelico, 1445

The shaft of light symbolizing the Holy Ghost isn’t too different from Danae’s shower of gold. Notice the contrast of the Virgin with Adam and Eve being expelled from the Garden of Eden to the left.

Connecting Sex With Sin

Of course in these cases, Zeus is copulating with the women. It’s an act of lust, and, at least for the god, one of pleasure. That’s in stark contrast to the Christian idea of Mary’s conception of Jesus: She remains a virgin, her maidenhead unbroken, and there’s no animal-like rutting. 

This was an essential part of the Christ story. The fathers of the Christian church connected sex with sin early on, taking their cue from Genesis and the Garden of Eden: Fornication becomes necessary for reproduction, and the pain of childbirth a curse that Eve, and all women to follow, must bear. 

Sex was seen as the ultimate sin. Saint Augustine wrote in City of God, in 426, that the passion aroused by lovemaking was sinful — though the holy act of propagation was not. In a similar vein, he added, “We ought not to condemn marriage because of the evil of lust, nor must we praise lust because of the good of marriage.”

“[I]n this battle between the flesh and the spirit, the female sex was firmly placed on the side of the flesh,” Warner wrote. “For as childbirth was woman’s special function, and its pangs the special penalty decreed by God after the Fall, and as the child she bore in her womb was stained by sin from the moment of its conception, the evils of sex were particularly identified with the female. Woman was womb and womb was evil.”

The Annunciation from the Grabower Altar in St. Peter’s in Hamburg, Germany, 1383

Saint Ephrem the Syrian wrote, “Perfectly God, he entered the womb through her ear.” The idea was that by conceiving via her ear, Mary remained a virgin.

The Virgin Mary: Not Your Typical (Sinful) Woman

Mary’s impregnation is, in contrast, a serene, holy act. It’s possibly tied to the very words of the Angel Gabriel when he announces her role in bringing forth the Savior. In ancient times, some people actually believed pregnancy could come about through the ear. (It gives a whole new meaning to Iggy Pop’s lyric “Of course I’ve had it in the ear before.”)

A sixth century hymn that’s still sung today goes:

The centuries marvel therefore 
that the angel bore the seed,
the virgin conceived through her ear, 
and believing in her heart, became fruitful.

The son of God chose to be born of a virgin, according to Augustine, because it was the only way to enter the world without sin. So, “Let us love chastity above all things,” he wrote, “for it was to show that this was pleasing to Him that Christ chose the modesty of a virgin womb.”

Painful births were one of God’s punishments for Eve eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. But Jesus’ mother couldn’t be connected with anything so sinful, so she was said to be a virgin, pure and intact.

Slandering the Virgin Mary

The early Christian church had to defend itself against rumors that painted Mary in a negative light. Jews and pagans in Alexandria, for example, were saying that Jesus wasn’t conceived by God — instead, he was the bastard child of an incestuous union of Mary and her brother. 

It doesn’t seem far-fetched nowadays to question a scientific impossibility — but at the dawn of Christianity, virgin births wouldn’t have been too big of a surprise. For early Christians, anything to do with female bodily functions was dirty and sinful. So they would have insisted their savior had to have come from an inviolate womb. And, despite evidence to the contrary, Mary became a virgin. –Wally

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Agave Mythology and Pulque Folk Tales

Mesomaerican legends, including Mayahuel and Ehécatl’s doomed love, drunk Tlacuache the possum and 400 rabbits suckled on pulque.

Mesoamerican myths are pretty crazy. Take the fertility goddess Mayahuel, who lactated pulque, which intoxicated the 400 rabbits she gave birth to.

Aside from being a source of sustenance, the agave, or maguey as it’s referred to in Mexico, was revered and respected as a sacred plant by the ancient peoples of Mesoamerica. 

The desert succulent is distinguished by a rosette of strong fleshy leaves that radiate from the center of the plant. Fibers from its tough spiny leaves were used to make rope or fabric for clothing, and the barbed tips made excellent sewing needles. Devotees and priests would pierce their earlobes, tongues or genitals with the thorns and collect the blood as an offering to the gods. An antiseptic poultice of maguey sap and salt was used in traditional medicine and applied to wounds. The plant is also the source of pulque, a beverage made from its fermented sap, and many years later, distilled as mezcal and tequila. 

Agave being used to treat a head wound

As a final act, the maguey poetically blooms in the final throes of its life cycle. A mutant asparagus-like stalk emerges from the center of the plant, reaching 25 to 40 feet high before it flowers and dies. 

Drink of the Gods

In Aztec times, the milky and sour mildly alcoholic beverage was highly prized and strictly limited to consumption by a select few, including priests, pregnant women, the elderly and tributes offered up for ritual sacrifice. The priests believed that the resulting intoxication put them in an altered state and allowed them to communicate directly with the gods. The consequences of illegally imbibing outside of this group were so serious that the convicted faced death by strangulation. 

So what are the myths and folklore stories about agave and pulque? As with myths around the world, there are multiple variations, and while researching stories about agave I found myself falling down a rabbit hole. I couldn’t quite decide what the definitive versions were, so here are my interpretations.

The gorgeous (personally we don’t see it) Mayahuel was rescued from her evil grandmother, then torn apart and fed to demons, before eventually becoming the first agave.

The Legend of Mayahuel, Whose Lovely Bones Became the First Agave

When the universe as we know it was formed, so too was a ferocious and bloodthirsty race of light-devouring demons known as tzitzimime. It was said that life ebbed from their fleshless female forms. They were easily recognizable by their shiny black hair, skeletal limbs ending in clawed hands, and blood red tongues resembling a sacrificial knife wagging from their gaping maws. Their wide-open starry eyes allowed them to see through the darkness. 

The tzitzimime were ferocious demons who sucked light and life from this world.

These monstrous beings ruled over the night sky and wore gruesome necklaces loaded with severed human hands and hearts — trophies from the steady diet of human sacrifices required to appease them. 

The tzitzimime cloaked the earth in darkness, and in return for ritual bloodshed, permitted the sun to rise and move across the sky. It’s a fair guess to say that a large number of lives were lost, as the Aztecs believed that if darkness won, the sun would be lost forever, the world would end, and the tzitzimime would descend from the skies and gobble up humankind. 

The tzitzimime demons were insatiable for sacrifices of human blood.

Hidden in the sky among the tzitzimime was a beautiful young maiden by the name of Mayahuel. Mayahuel was imprisoned by her grandmother, Tzitzímitl, the oldest and most malevolent demoness of the brood.

Tzitzímitl’s insatiable desire for human sacrifice angered Ehécatl, the god of wind and rain. 

One evening he rose up into the night sky to confront her, but instead discovered Mayahuel. Struck by her beauty, he immediately fell in love and convinced her to descend from the heavens to become his paramour. 

Ehécatl, god of wind and rain, tried his best to save poor Mayahuel from Tzitzimitl.

When Tzitzímitl discovered that Mayahuel was missing, she exploded into a violent rage and commanded her demon servants to find her granddaughter. The pair assumed the form of trees and stood side by side so that their leaves would caress one another whenever the wind blew.

Time passed, but their disguise was no match for the furious Tzitzímitl. The sky turned gray with clouds that heralded a major storm, followed by lightning and thunder. When the evil spirit finally found Mayahuel, she tore her from the ground and fed her to her legions of tzitzimime. 

The skeletal demoness Tzitzímitl with her necklace of severed human hearts and hands

Ehécatl was unharmed. He avenged Mayahuel’s death by killing Tzitzímitl and returned light to the world. Still overcome with grief, he gathered the bones of his beloved and buried them in a field. As his tears saturated the arid soil, Mayahuel’s remains transformed and emerged from the earth as the first agave. After getting a taste of the elixir that came from the plant, Ehécatl decided to share his creation with humankind. 

For some reason, the possum god Tlacuache was responsible for creating the course of rivers. They’re curvy because he got drunk on pulque.

The Tale of Tlacuache: Why a River Runs Its Course

Another Mesoamerican tale connects pulque with the creation of rivers. According to the story, Tlacuache, a possum god, was responsible for assigning the course of rivers. While going about his day foraging for food, he happened upon an agave. Using his human-like hands, he dug into one of its leathery leaves. A sweet honeyed sap oozed from the cuts, and Tlacuache stuck his snout into the maguey and lapped up the liquid with glee. 

After having his fill, he returned to his den and dreamt of returning to the plant the next day. Tlacuache had a remarkable talent for finding food and remembering exactly where it was found. What he didn’t know, though, is that the nectar had fermented overnight and now contained alcohol. The marsupial accidentally overindulged and became intoxicated. Finding himself disoriented, he stumbled and wandered this way and that, until he eventually found his way home. 

Over time, Tlacuache’s circuitous meandering was reflected in his work. Any river in Mexico that bends or doesn’t follow a straight line was due to Tlacuache drinking pulque and plotting the river’s course while he was tipsy. In fact, some say he was the very first drunk.

Suck on this: The fertility goddess Mayahuel didn’t have milk in her breasts — she had pulque.

Pulque Breast Milk and being drunk as 400 Rabbits

Last but not least is the fantastical story of the mythical 400 drunken rabbits whose behavior even Beatrix Potter would have found excessive. 

In Aztec mythology, Patecatl was the Lord of 13 Days and the credited discoverer of the squat psychedelic peyote cactus. One evening, he and Mayahuel, who in this story is a fertility goddess, had a no-strings-attached tryst, resulting in an unusual pregnancy. Months later, the proud mother bore a litter of 400 fluffy little bunnies. 

Naturally, being the goddess of the agave, Mayahuel’s multiple breasts lactated pulque, which she used to nourish her children. It’s safe to say that her divine offspring didn’t understand the concept of moderation and were frequently found in various states of inebriation. 

Mayahuel had a one-night stand with the Lord of 13 Days — and ended up having a litter of 400 rabbits!

The 400 rabbits each depict a different stage of inebriation.

The siblings were known as the Centzon Totochtin and represented the varying degrees of intoxication one can attain while under the influence of alcohol. One of the children, Ometochtli (Two Rabbit), a god who represented duality, was associated with that initial burst of courage that comes after a couple of drinks. Conversations feel more important, and everyone around you becomes more attractive. His brother Macuiltochtli (Five Rabbit) was one of the gods of excess — the equivalent of having too much of a good thing, and waking up the next day with a pounding headache. 

Ometochtli, or Two Rabbit, was the god of the courage you get after a couple of drinks — and the start of beer-goggling.

This fellow is going to regret being like Macuiltochtli, or Five Rabbit, and drinking to excess. He’s gonna be hungover tomorrow.

If you’re drunk as 400 rabbits, you’re beyond wasted.

For the Aztecs, the concept of infinity started at 400. A couple of drinks is OK; consuming your body weight in booze not so much. Moral of the story: If you drink more than you can handle, whether you’re a small animal or otherwise, you’ll be carried away by a colony of 400 rabbits. –Duke

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Learn How Mezcal Gets Made

Another drink made from the agave, mezcal is much more artisanal than tequila, with numerous factors influencing the taste of each batch — and that’s what makes it so interesting.

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Animal Symbolism in Pre-Columbian Pottery at the Museo Nacional de Antropología

The meanings behind monkeys, jaguars, ducks, bats, dogs and other animals in Mesoamerican myths as depicted in pre-Columbian artifacts at the National Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City.

A lot of the exhibits at the National Museum of Anthropology in CDMX depict animals — each of which held symbolic meaning for the ancient peoples of Mexico.

Something that’s always fascinated me about ancient cultures are the similarities in beliefs with other civilizations around the world. Despite being oceans apart, many shared highly developed civilizations and a deep reverence for the natural world. 

We saw this in action during our last visit to Mexico City, when we finally made it to the Museo Nacional de Antropología. The scale and scope of the galleries at the museum is dizzying. Wally and I don’t like to overdo it, so we spent half a day just wandering through the first floor. One of the highlights for me was the large number and variety of Mesoamerican animal-shaped effigy vessels on display. Like other ancient societies, the pre-Columbian peoples believed that certain animals embodied a spiritual energy in which sacred beings manifested themselves. 

“Conquistadors developed such an appetite for Xoloitzcuintli Mexican hairless dogs that they nearly ate them into extinction. ”

These ritual objects were not used in everyday life; they were often placed in tombs as burial goods. Animals played a key role at all levels of society and symbolically linked the three cosmic realms of the universe: the heavens, earth and underworld.

Aztec cosmology posited that time is cyclical — and that we’re in the Fifth Sun, the final cycle of the world.

Here Comes the (Fifth) Sun

According to the Aztec legend of the Fifth Sun, time is cyclical. Four suns, or eras, have passed, created by a different deity and successively destroyed. Each cycle included inhabitants who died or transformed into various creatures, including monkeys, turkeys, dogs and fish. Our present world happens to be the Fifth Sun. 

Brightly colored feathers were used in religious ceremonies.

The pre-Columbian people used animals for a variety of purposes. Parrots and macaws, for example, provided a source of food as well as prized blue-green plumage used to adorn headdresses. However, animals also held great symbolic significance. They served as cultural and cosmic metaphors based on their habitat and natural features. 

Ducks were particularly holy to Mesoamericans, as they moved between three realms: water, the sky and land.

Just Ducky

Birds symbolized the celestial realm, the sun and moon in particular, and were considered messengers between the natural and spiritual worlds. 

Ducks were particularly holy, perhaps because they ticked all the boxes: They can fly, walk on land and dive underwater, possessing the ability to travel freely between these different spheres. 

Ducks and related birds were also associated with the wind god Ehécatl (pronounced “Eh-heh-ka-tul”), one of the avatars of Quetzacoatl, the great plumed serpent. The deity was frequently portrayed with a duckbill-like appendage on his face, which he used to summon the winds. 

The Maya considered bodies of water to be pathways to the Underworld. Ducks and other waterfowl were ritualistically sacrificed, eaten and used to ward off demons.

This little guy represents a coatimundi, which figures in a Mayan myth that involved a decapitated head in the Underworld.

Coati Encounters of the First Kind

The coatimundi, or coati, are members of the raccoon family. They have distinct mask-like markings on their faces, resembling a combination of kinkajou, anteater, raccoon and bear cub. 

In the Popol Vuh, the sacred text of the Maya, a bat rips off the head of Hunahpu, one of the Hero Twins, and takes it to the ball court of Xibalbá (the Underworld) to be used in place of a rubber ball. A coati fashions a fake head from a calabash squash and places it on the shoulders of the headless hero. Hanapu’s brother Xbalanque places Hanapu’s head back on his shoulders, and the brothers succeed in defeating the Lords of Xibalbá.

Monkeys represented the good (luck and joy) and the bad (immorality).

Monkeys: Sacred Simians 

Spider and howler monkeys are the two most common species native to the tropical lowlands of Mexico. Playful and social in nature, these nimble primates live in the high forest canopy and are mankind’s closest living relative. They were symbols of good fortune and joy, as well as pleasure and immorality — the latter of which was punishable by death. Monkeys were domesticated and kept as pets by both Zapotec and Aztec nobility and weren’t used for food or sacrifice. 

The “leftovers” of the Second Sun cycle of the universe were turned into jabbering monkeys.

Ehecatl, the Aztec god of the wind, was associated with monkeys.

Monkeys were also associated with the Aztec wind god Ehécatl. According to the legend of the Fifth Sun, the disobedient survivors of the Second Sun, whose cataclysmic end included hurricanes and floods, were transformed into monkeys by Ehécatl. Deprived of the ability to speak, they were condemned to emit meaningless noises for the rest of their existence. 

A person’s spirit would hold onto a Xoloitzcuintli dog’s tail to be guided through the Underworld.

Dogs Truly Are Man’s Best Friend

Before the Chihuahua became the most popular dog breed from Mexico, there was the hairless Xoloitzcuintli (pronounced “Show-low-eats-queent-lee”). This breed got its name from Xolotl, the god of lightning and death, and itzcuintli, dog. To the ancient Aztec and Maya, the canine was created by Xolotl to guard the living and guide the souls of the dead through the perils of Mictlán, the Underworld. Deceased souls held onto the dogs’ tails as they led their owners through the afterlife. They were also bred as a source of food — in fact, the conquistadors developed such an appetite for them that they nearly ate them into extinction. 

The most common depictions of Xoloitzcuintles take the form of small ceramic vessels known as Colima dogs for the modern state of Mexico where they are commonly found. More than a few of these red clay objects are depicted with chubby bodies — this may be an indication that they were fattened up to be eaten.

Frida Khalo and Diego Rivera owned a brood of Xolos, and Wally and I saw a few sunning themselves at el Museo Dolores Olmedo, which houses a large collection of works by this famous duo.

Grasshoppers were associated with agriculture and fertility — but could also mean destruction.

The Grasshopper: the Insect That Sings for Its Supper

The name of Chapultepec Park, where the Museo Nacional de Antropología is located, comes from Náhuatl for “Hill of the Grasshopper.” This hill rises from the center of the park, was a sacred place for the Aztec and is where Chapultepec Castle stands. 

Grasshoppers were associated with agriculture and fertility and were associated with the period following the annual rainfall, which brought an abundance of the insects. 

In addition to their symbolic importance, the Aztec snacked on chapulines, cooking them on clay surfaces with spices. 

To the Mexica, they represented the duality of abundance vs. destruction: Drought triggers the solitary grasshopper to become social, changing color from green to yellow and black. Under such conditions, they move in swarms, devouring crops and vegetation.

Bats were paired with the Underworld, which was accessible via the caves they live in.

Bats Out of Hell

Bats are nocturnal creatures that travel the sky by night and hide in caves by day, which Mesoamericans believed were portals to the Underworld. 

The stuck-out tongue on this bat statue hinted at the creature’s blood-sucking nature and connected it to the practice of human sacrifice.

The Zapotec venerated the god Camazotz, who had the head of a bat and was associated with night, death and sacrifice. Most likely due to the sanguinary diet of the vampire bat, native to most regions of Mexico, where it feeds on the blood of mammals, the creature became associated with rites of bloodletting and human sacrifice practiced to honor the gods and secure bountiful harvests. 

A common symbol in ancient Mesoamerica, the jaguar was linked to power and protection from evil.

Jaguars Hit the Spot(s)

The jaguar was one of the most important sacred symbols of power, ferocity and protection from evil. According to Mexica lore, a jaguar and an eagle both sacrificed themselves to bring light to the world, and in doing so became gods. 

Jaguars were believed to have the ability to travel between the worlds.

The Maya connected the jaguar’s spots with heavenly lights.

The jaguar is closely associated with the “night sun” (the sun during its nightly trip through the Underworld) and darkness as well. As such, the big cat was thought to have the ability to move between the worlds of the living and the dead. The Maya venerated the feline, seeing heavenly lights in its spots. –Duke

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RELATED: Death Cults of Ancient Mexico

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8 Wild Facts About Saffron

Why are people mad about saffron? The fragile tendrils of the Crocus sativus flower yield the most expensive spice in the world. 

Three small strands that jut out of the crocus flower are what we use as the spice saffron.

The most precious and costly spice in our cupboard — and most likely yours — is saffron, which comes from Crocus sativus, the saffron crocus. Its name is derived from the Arabic za’faran, which has its roots in the word for yellow. Today, Iran is the world’s top producer, though the plant is also a cash crop of Spain, Greece, Morocco and the Kashmir region of India. 

Saffron might not be worth its weight in gold — but it’s the most expensive spice in the world.

1. It’s said that a pound of saffron is worth more than a pound of gold, but this turns out to be a myth. 

Despite this, saffron is still the most expensive and labor-intensive spice in the world. Fortunately, a little goes a long way. It only takes a pinch to infuse its aromatic, earthy flavor and brilliant color. Saffron is integral to far-ranging dishes, from Spanish paella to Indian biryani, from Persian pilau to the yeasted saffron buns of Cornwall, England. Its widespread usage was often introduced by conquerors: the Moors in Spain and the ancient Persians in India. 

The crocus is sterile and needs to be planted each year, and then harvested by hand.

Interestingly, saffron is a sterile plant that is difficult to reproduce without human intervention. New plants are grown by digging up and replanting the corm (the bulb-like part of the stem). Its high price makes sense: There’s no way to harvest the delicate crimson filaments of the Crocus sativus mechanically. The strands, known botanically as stigmas, must be carefully removed from the heart of the small violet blooms by hand, and there are only three per flower. To put this into perspective, approximately 350 tiny threads of saffron make up a single gram. So, it takes about 75,000 flowers for 1 pound of saffron: Its retail value is estimated at around $5,000 a pound. A pound of gold as of this writing is worth over $27,000.

Buddhist monks, like these in Cambodia, don’t waste saffron on dyeing their robes; they use other natural dyes, including tumeric.

2. The robes of Buddhist monks aren’t actually dyed with saffron.

When I think of my first trip to Southeast Asia, I can picture the vivid saffron-colored robes worn by the Buddhist monks of Cambodia. According to monastic discipline, the robes must be made from cloth that is naturally dyed using indigenous plants, barks or spices, though saffron is too expensive to be used widely. Instead, that distinctive yellowish-orange color most often comes from the knobby turmeric root.

Perhaps the association with saffron and the dye used for monks’ robes comes from a transliteration of the botanical name for turmeric, curcumin, which originates from the Arabic kurkum, meaning saffron. 

I can attest to the dyeing power of turmeric, from the intense amber stains it left on my hands and the chute of my juicer.

What exactly is Donovan’s “Mellow Yellow” about? Who’s this Saffron he’s mad about?

3. The song “Mellow Yellow” by Donovan was actually about a female sex toy.

The first time I recall hearing the word saffron was riding in a car with my dad while he was listening to an oldies station. The song was “Mellow Yellow,” written and recorded by the Scottish singer Donovan. It begins, “I’m just mad about Saffron. Saffron’s mad about me.” I wasn’t sure if it was saffron the spice or a woman with that name that made him mellow. But when the song was released in 1967, a rumor emerged that it was about smoking bananadine cigarettes, the scraped and dried white pith of a banana peel, which were believed to have hallucinogenic properties. The myth has since been debunked, as Wally can attest from a high school “experiment,” when he tried smoking dried banana peels, to no effect.

Donovan admitted that “Mellow Yellow” was about a vibrator.

Donovan later admitted in an interview in NME that the idea for the song came from an ad for a yellow vibrator that he saw in the back pages of a magazine. You can catch the reference in the lyrics “Electrical banana is gonna be a sudden craze.” 

Could this have been the sex toy that inspired the lyrics “electrical banana”?

As for the phrase “mellow yellow,” it first appeared a half-century earlier in James Joyce’s Ulysses in a description of the protagonist’s unfaithful wife Molly Bloom’s buttocks. 

Not surprisingly, the name Saffron gained popularity after the release of Donovan’s song. Quite rightly.

Cleopatra had undeniable sex appeal and claimed two Roman leaders as her lovers. Was it because of her saffron and mare’s milk baths?

4. Cleopatra and Alexander the Great used saffron as a health and beauty hack.

Cleopatra, the legendary seducer of not one but two powerful men of Ancient Rome, bathed in saffron-infused mare’s milk as an all-natural bronzer and aphrodisiac to enhance her allure. The lactic acid contained in milk is believed to gently exfoliate dead skin cells, while saffron gave her skin a healthy glow and acted as a perfume. In fact, saffron baths were a luxurious trend amongst the elite of Rome. And the Macedonian ruler Alexander the Great enjoyed soaking in saffron-colored water, convinced it would heal his battle wounds. 

An illuminated manuscript that depicts women shopping at a spice merchant’s stall

5. People in the Middle Ages were willing to die for saffron.

The marketplaces of Medieval Europe were filled with the exotic spices and spoils of returning crusaders. Saffron was so popular in 14th century Europe that the theft of a single ship en route to Basel, Switzerland, carrying 800 pounds of the spice led to the 14-week Saffron War that lasted until the shipment was returned. 

Perhaps these two were caught selling counterfeit saffron — and were burned at the stake!

Its purity was of such importance that the Safranschou code was enacted to deter fraud. Because of saffron’s high price tag, cheap substitutes were often passed off as authentic saffron. Merchants caught selling adulterated forms of the spice faced the possibility of imprisonment, public burning or being buried alive. 

Be careful getting too transfixed by dancing nymphs — you might end up being turned into a flower!

6. Saffron features prominently in a couple of Greek myths. 

In the most common version of the story, a handsome Arcadian youth named Krokos was passing through the Athenian woods, when he spied the nymph Smilax dancing with her friends. He was bewitched and began to visit the forest regularly to seek her out. For a time, Smilax allowed him to find her but couldn’t decide if she should let herself be courted by a mortal. The gods were not amused, though, and lost patience with the couple. They struck Krokos with their wrath, transforming him into a small purple flower that bears his name, the crocus. Its bright red stigmas glow with his fiery, unrequited love. Smilax was simultaneously turned into a thorny briar vine. Why such a choice? Because the vine would strangle the flower, the would-be lovers were prevented from ever meeting again.

The bisexual Greek god Hermes had a male lover who was killed by a discus — so he turned him into a crocus.

In an alternate version of the tale, the Greek trickster god Hermes was smitten with a young Spartan named Krokos, or Crocus. One day, while playing a game of discus, Hermes accidentally struck the young man on the head, killing him instantly. Distraught by what had happened, Hermes turned his lover into a purple flower, which became known as the crocus. And the three drops of blood upon his head became the red stigmata used for the spice saffron.  

The coat of arms for the town of Saffron Walden in England — note the three crocus flowers at the center

7. Saffron found its way to Britain from the Crusades.

Britain’s often damp and chilly weather seems far from the perfect climate for producing saffron, which thrives in arid terrain. However, it was grown commercially in the fields of Norfolk and Suffolk from the 15th to 18th centuries. It was most likely brought to England from the Holy Land during the Crusades, either by the Knights of St. John or, as popular lore goes, by a pilgrim who risked his life by concealing a saffron corm in the hollow of his walking staff. 

The spice was cultivated in large quantities in the village of Chipping Walden and brought prosperity to the small town — so much so that it changed its name to Saffron Walden. The lasting impact can be seen on the town’s official coat of arms: three crocus flowers surrounded by two castle towers and its walls, a heraldic pun — as in, “Saffron Walled-in.” 

A lot of saffron in Spain finds its way into paella.

8. Each country has its own standard for grading and classifying saffron, based upon aroma, color and flavor.

Not all saffron is created equal. There are different strengths or grades determined by how much of the yellow stamen is still attached to the stigma. In Spain, for example, there are four varieties: coupe, la mancha, río and sierra. Coupe is pure red stigmas only and has the highest amount of crocin, the property responsible for the distinct aroma of saffron. For Iranian traders, the highest grade is sargol, which means “top of the flower” in Farsi and consists of the strongest grade with only the tips of the dried red stigmas. –Duke

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The Real Monsters of Harry Potter Wizards Unite

What magical creatures come from folklore — and did the augmented reality game get the details right? A glossary of famous monsters, including gnomes, hippogriffs, leprechauns, mandrakes, phoenixes and trolls.

Many of the creatures from the mobile game Harry Potter: Wizards Unite have their roots in actual folklore.

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite features some monsters we know well — vampires, werewolves, unicorns and the like — but there are some odd ones you’ll encounter as well. Some of these creatures spring entirely from the impressive imagination of J.K. Rowling, such as those naughty Nifflers and dreadful Dementors. 

But many of the monsters that appear in the addictive AR game have their origins in folklore and mythology from around the world. 

“Some kappa are pranksters, making fart noises and peeking under kimonos.

But others are dangerous, drowning livestock, eating children and raping women.”

The Abraxan winged horse from the Harry Potter universe is based on one of the flying steeds that pulled the Greek sun god Helios’ chariot across the sky.

Abraxan

I’m not sure who would want to drink a potion with horse hair in it, even if it does make you stronger in battle. But Abraxan hair is one of the ingredients in the Strong Exstimulo Potion in the Wizards Unite game.

A little digging reveals where Rowling got the inspiration for these winged steeds: Abraxas was one of four immortal horses that pulled the sun god Helios’ chariot across the sky each day in Greek myth.

A depiction of a boggart from The Spiderwick Chronicles. They can change their shapes at will.

Boggart

Many of the Foundables in the game must face their worst fears when a shapeshifting boggart emerges from its cabinet. Clever Ron is terrified of spiders (like me), but once he casts Riddikulus, roller skates suddenly appear on all eight legs of the arachnid-shaped boggart, causing the creature to slip and bumble in all directions and making it more comical than creepy.

“The world is full of fairies, and if anyone tells you it isn’t, don’t you believe them.” So begins this helpful tome, published in 1956.

Boggarts love to cause mischief, like taking a baby out of its crib.

In English folklore, boggarts are mischief-makers, pulling the covers off you when you sleep, moving furniture, turning milk sour or even taking a baby out of its crib and placing it on the floor. They typically don’t hurt humans, though the threat of throwing a child down a boggart-hole often worked wonders in getting them to behave. Because boggarts are described in such differing ways — human-sized, able to fit in your palm, resembling an animal, invisible — these monsters are believed to be shapeshifters.

The creepy Erkling from Wizards Unite looks like a demented cousin of Jack Frost.

Erkling

In the game, these hideous creatures, with their skeletal frame, large red eyes and nose like a misshapen carrot, attack you with blowdarts. 

Saying that you won’t dance with a erlking or join it in fairyland could be the last thing you ever do.

Erlkings are often shown as crowned, flying spirits following those on horseback.

Rowling transposed two letters, drawing inspiration from the erlking, a woodland spirit of Scandanavian and Germanic origin. Based on their depictions in illustrations and paintings, they appear as humans, wrapped in flowing robes and flying, ghostlike, above those on horseback. Sometimes an erlking wears a crown, in reference to the origin of the word, which means “elf king.” While similar creatures are mere tricksters, erlkings are willing to kill humans for doing something like refusing to dance with them or venture into fairyland. Others are said to prey on children. But it could also be that erlkings are merely omens of death, appearing to those doomed to soon die.

This cheeky Gnome Confoundable is waving a fart at us!

Gnome

Forget those statues in your garden of a small humanlike creature with a white beard and rosy cheeks, dressed in a blue tunic and pointy red cap. The gnomes of Wizards Unite have mottled green skin and horns atop their heads. They flounder around in a comical manner, and I can’t help but laugh no matter how many times I see that one gnome wafting its stinky fart in my direction to keep me from the Beater’s bat.

Wally stole — er, permanently borrowed — this book from his neighbors, knowing he’d appreciate it much more than they would.

Gnomes are diminutive creatures of the earth and mountains from European folklore. These shy supernatural folk avoid humans but befriend birds, rabbits, foxes, hedgehogs and squirrels (though they have a particular dislike of cats). They can move through stone as easily as we do through air. Some tales say they turn to stone in the sun, which could explain why it’s only during the nighttime that they sneak out to help with gardening. 

Hippogriffs, part eagle, part horse, can be dangerous!

Hippogriff

Many of us are familiar with Buckbuck, whom Harry and his friends save from execution and is one of the Foundables from the Forbidden Forest in the Wizards Unite game. 

In this 1824 painting by Louis-Édouard Rioult, a knight named Roger, riding his hippogriff mount, saves a woman, Angelica, from a sea monster.

A hippogriff is the offspring of a mare and a griffin, itself a magical creature. Because griffins typically hunt horses, hippogriffs are extremely rare and became symbols of something deemed impossible. When the two creatures do mate, the result is a mishmash, with the forefront of an eagle and the hind quarters of a horse. 

When Mare and Griffin meet and mate
Their offspring share a curious fate.
One half is Horse with hooves and tail,
The rest is Eagle, claws and nail.

As a Horse it likes to graze
In summer meadows doused in haze,
Yet as an Eagle it can fly
Above the clouds where dreams drift by.

With such a Beast I am enthralled,
The Hippogriff this beast is called.

–“The Hippogriff” by Arnold Sundgaard

They’re able to be tamed and make swift steeds, as many a knight and wizard has learned.

The Horned Serpent you must battle in Harry Potter: Wizards Unite

Horned Serpent

One of the Oddities that’s a bit more difficult to defeat, this monster is exactly what its name describes: a giant snake with — you guessed it! — horns. It’s also one of the four houses at Ilvermorny, the unfortunately named U.S. equivalent of Hogwarts. Horned Serpent students are smarties, most likely making them the equivalent of Ravenclaws.

Many Native American tribes had a version of the horned serpent in their folk tales.

These supernatural spirits were primarily water based and could perform powerful magic.

While these mythic creatures from Native American folklore sometimes travel on ground, they’re most often found in rivers and lakes. It seems that each indiginous tribe has its own version of the horned serpent, but they’re almost always powerful supernatural spirits, with powers ranging from shapeshifting and invisibility to hypnosis and healing. Many are also said to control the weather, causing rain, earthquakes and floods.

Watch out for kappa! They’re known to not only peek up kimonos but rape women as well.

Kappa

The kappa shows up in the Circus Calamitous special event in the game, with a head that seems to hold water like a bowl, barnacles stuck to its skin and a Fu Manchu mustache.

The creature derives from Japanese mythology, described as an amphibian humanoid with webbed feet and hands, a beak and a turtle shell upon its back, dwelling in rivers and ponds. 

Some kappa are mere pranksters, making fart noises and peeking under kimonos. But others are dangerous, drowning livestock, eating children (though they’re also fond of cucumbers) and raping women.

The turtle-like kappas’ weakness is the dents on top of their heads, which must always be filled with water.

They do indeed have a small bowl-like dent in their heads called a sara, the source of their magical powers, which must always be filled with water. If they’re on land and you refill its sara, a kappa will be indebted to you for life. 

James Browne’s leprechaun is a cobbler and has a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Leprechaun

These little buggers throw clods of dirt at you in Wizards Unite, making it oh-so-satisfying when you cast a spell that sends one flying into the air. 

Leprechauns often have treasure — but they’ll do their best to trick you out of getting it.

The Harry Potter game loves its diminutive tricksters, so it’s no surprise leprechauns are featured. These creatures from Irish folklore are quite well known to Americans, thanks to St. Patrick’s Day — though the children’s cereal Lucky Charms has a part to play as well. You can easily picture a leprechaun: a small humanoid with a red beard and a green outfit, from its top hat to its buckled shoes. It wasn’t until the 20th century, though, that the color scheme turned to green — originally, leprechauns dressed in red.

This leprechaun on a vintage St. Patrick’s Day card is probably drunk.

These creatures haunt wine cellars and, playing to a stereotype about the Irish, are famous drunks. In many cases, they’re shoemakers, and you’ll find their pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. If you capture one, you can usually get him to hand over his treasure. Some tales say that those who catch a leprechaun will be granted three wishes. But beware: These naughty fairies will do everything they can to trick you out of your reward. 

A baby mandrake root as seen in the Hogwarts greenhouses.

Mandrake

Who can forget the scene where Harry and his Hogwarts classmates must pull screaming baby mandrakes out of a pot, being sure to wear earmuffs as protection from their horrific wails? 

Mandrakes were popular inclusions in medieval manuscripts.

It’s handy to have a dog you don’t like around when harvesting a mandrake.

These unusual plants actually exist — though it’s highly doubtful that they spring from the fat, blood and semen of a hanged man. Mandrakes are a member of the nightshade family and have hallucinogenic properties. Their roots often form humanlike shapes, leading to the belief that they held various powers over the body.

Dioscurides, a first century Greek physician, states that mandrake boiled in wine was used as an anesthetic in Ancient Rome. Too much, though, could be fatal. And the barren Rachel of Genesis seems to have finally gotten pregnant thanks to the magical properties of the mandrake.

This powerful plant could bring good fortune, riches or power. Slip one shaped like a baby under your pillow and you might conceive a child. Put one that resembles a woman into your pocket, and that gal you’ve got your eye on is sure to fall for you.

The humanlike mandrake root was said to emit a fatal screech when pulled out of the ground.

These ladies are using string to yank out mandrakes — I sure hope they have their ears plugged with wax!

Because the plant emits a fatal shriek when uprooted, harvesting it was a dangerous activity. The only way to safely go about this is to plug your ears with wax and tie one end of a rope around the mandrake and the other to a dog. Throw a treat, which the dog will chase after — yanking the mandrake root out of the ground. Of course, the mandrake will emit its lethal scream, killing the poor doggie instantly (though I’m not sure why you can’t try plugging the pooch’s ears with wax as well).

The adorable mooncalf from Wizards Unite

Mooncalf

No matter how many times I see that poor little guy, with its huge blue eyes, chained up in the game, my heart breaks a little. Sure he’s a misshapen beast with webbed feet, but he’s downright adorable in his way.

The moon could botch a pregnancy, resulting in a horrifically deformed creature called a mooncalf.

Mooncalves in folklore aren’t always bovine: Perhaps the first reference dates back to Shakespeare’s play The Tempest, where the deformed creature Caliban is said to be the offspring of a witch and a devil.

Poor Caliban, a mooncalf created by Shakespeare

Caliban and a couple of other characters from The Tempest

The beasts get their name from the belief that the moon can exert a sinister influence over a pregnancy, resulting in a child that’s monstrously deformed, pale and mentally deficient. 

A Mountain Troll Confoundable isn’t too fond of the Flesh-Eating Slugs (but really, who would be)?

Mountain Troll

In the mobile game, these dimwitted, lumbering giants guard numerous Foundables, including the Mirror of Erised, which reveals that their heart’s desire is…a female of the species. Trolls — they just want to be loved, too. 

Trolls from a 1915 illustration by the Swedish artist John Bauer

Trolls originated in Norway, where they’re a proud part of the national heritage — despite being hideous and cruel monsters (though the females are often said to be quite comely). Wizards Unite and the world of Harry Potter got one thing right about them: They’re great of strength and weak of brain. The good news is that because trolls are so stupid, if you’re caught by one, you just might be able to trick your way out of danger. If you’re not clever enough, though, you could get smashed by a tree used as a club or crushed by a stone hurled by a troll. Or, you might be the troll’s next meal. 

Duke and Wally got attacked by the trolls at the Morton Arboretum outside of Chicago, part of a fun exhibit by Thomas Dambo.

Their skin is gray and tough as stone, their hair wild and unkempt. Like the folklore concerning gnomes, trolls will turn to stone if caught in the sun’s rays. Some of the mountain outcroppings in Norway are the remains of unlucky trolls. 

Trolls that get caught out at sunrise turn instantly to stone.

In some tales, trolls have a particular dislike of Christians and never pass up a chance to wreak havoc on a church — perhaps because church bells are said to ward them off. (Incidentally, they also run in terror from thunder.)

The phoenix gets consumed in flames, only to be reborn from the ashes.

Phoenix

Dumbledore’s companion phoenix is named for Guy Fawkes Day, a strange British holiday with pagan origins that involves bonfires and the burning of an effigy.

That’s because the famous headmaster of Hogwarts’ phoenix shares a bizarre trait with the mythological creature: After living for 1,000 or so years, the gorgeous eagle-like bird grows old and frail before finally bursting into flames. But fear not — the phoenix will be reborn from its ashes, and the cycle will continue. That’s why phoenixes are associated with resurrection.

Phoenix tears are believed to have healing powers, and no one can tell a lie when this creature is nearby.

A page from a medieval bestiary shows a phoenix. Christians liked how the fabled bird symbolized resurrection.

The phoenix is said to have come from Paradise. Its fable began in Arabia and became popular in Ancient Greece and Rome. The majestic bird is covered in brilliant feathers of red, purple and gold. Its tears are said to have regenerative powers, and some say no one can tell a lie when the bird is near.

The pain-in-the-ass pixies you’ll find throughout the Wizards Unite game

Pixie

In the game, these little pests are hard to aim at, as they flit about during challenges — but they’re usually pretty easy to defeat once you land a shot.

Pixies, a variety of which is shown here, from The Spiderwick Chronicles, really just wanna have fun.

This source claims that pixies choose to look like hedgehogs, though most say they have wings like a butterfly or dragonfly.

While the pixies of Harry Potter are troublemakers, that’s not how they’re depicted in British folklore. The diminutive fairy-like creatures are giddy merrymakers who will give you a blessing if you recite a poem or present them with a pretty ribbon (they’re not good at making clothes, so they tend to dress in rags). Pixies sometimes have blue- or green-tinted skin, pointed ears, and wings like those of a butterfly or dragonfly.

One of Halbot K. Browne’s illustrations from the 1854 book A Peep at the Pixies by Anna Eliza Bray

Their magic can make a child smile, a maiden dance or a traveler lose their way (indeed, some disoriented voyagers would gripe about being “pixy-led”). Plants near them grow at an accelerated speed.

Whatever you do, don’t make fun of a pukwudgie. They’re not typically malevolent, but they could cause great harm if you don’t treat them with respect.

Pudwudgie

Rowling offers a variant spelling of the Native American creature known as a pukwudgie. These spirits of the forest are gray-skinned, about 3 feet tall and resemble humans, aside for their bulbous noses and enlarged ears. Like many other fey creatures, they’re sometimes mischievous, sometimes malicious — especially to those who don’t treat them with respect. Their magical powers include being able to turn invisible, confuse people, shapeshift into cougars or other dangerous animals and harm a person with a stare. A particularly vile pukwudgie might push you off a cliff, shoot a flaming arrow at you or kidnap your child. 

No one can seem to agree on exactly what a re’em looks like.

Re’em

If you want to brew an Exstimulo potion, you’ll have to scoop up little pools of re’em blood. Who knew this was an actual creature from Jewish folklore?

Like many of these monsters, there’s a debate about what a re’em actually looks like. One thing’s for certain: It’s massive. Some sources interchange it with a unicorn, but many describe it as an ox-like creature. 

One story about Noah’s Ark tells of a unicorn-like re’em being towed behind it because the giant beast wouldn’t fit on the boat.

A Jewish tale says that there are only two re’em at any given time: one male and one female. For 70 years, they exist on opposite sides of the Earth, but then come together to mate — after which the female slays the male with a single bite. When she finally gives birth, her stomach bursts open, killing her instantly. But she always gives birth to twins: one male, one female. They head off in different directions for 70 years, until…well, you know the drill.

Evidence points to the re’em being a giant aurochs, like those painted at the Lascaux caves.

Another story tells of King David, back when he was a shepherd. He climbed upon a re’em, thinking it was a mountain. He told God that he would build Him a temple as high as the re’em itself if he could get down safely. God sent a lion, the king of the beasts, and when the re’em bowed down in submission, David hopped off. 

An alert for Fluffy, the Three-Headed Dog once cared for by Hagrid

Three-Headed Dog

Hagrid never met a monster he didn’t love, and that includes the vicious three-headed hound to whom he gave the ridiculous name of Fluffy. 

Cerberus, the original three-headed dog, shown in this William Blake illustration, guards the gates of Hades in Greek mythology.

The original three-headed hell hound was called Cerberus. It guarded the entrance to Hades, devouring anyone who tried to leave the underworld. The only person to sneak past this monstrous watchdog was Orpheus, who played music so sweet it soothed the savage beast and lulled him to sleep.

Hercules and Cerberus by Peter Paul Rubens, 1636

The Greek hero Herakles, aka Hercules, had to capture Cerberus as the last of his 12 labors. Despite being bitten by the creature’s snakelike tail, Herakles managed to choke Cerberus until he passed out.

The Wizards Unite version of a zouwu

Zouwu

The zouwu appears in the Circus Calamitous event and was so strange, I had to wonder if it sprung from Rowling’s imagination. 

The mythic Chinese zouwu is actually a docile, lucky creature.

But no — it’s a legendary Chinese monster. Despite resembling a fierce big cat (sometimes described as a lion, sometimes a tiger), the zouwu is a gentle, vegetarian beast that’s seen as a good omen. The Harry Potter version has a strange pink tail like a ruffled dress, but in Chinese mythology, it’s only said that the tail is longer than its body. If you ride upon one, you can cover 1,000 miles in a day. 

The AR game is even more fun when you know the origins of the creatures that populate its world.

As you battle or rescue various creatures in the Harry Potter: Wizards Unite game, don’t get too caught up staring at your phone. You’ll want to be prepared if you happen to encounter one of these monsters in real life! –Wally

Monster Theory: A Q&A With Liz Gloyn

Beware! Medusa, the Sphinx, Cerberus and other monsters reveal the greatest fears of a society. 

Saint Martha Taming the Tarasque, circa 1500

There’s young Wally, curled up on the loveseat in the living room (the one his mother constantly tells him not to sit on), with D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths or the D&D Monster Manual. 

The original Monster Manual used to play Dungeons & Dragons

From an early age, I’ve always loved monsters. Of course I imagined myself as a hero, and that often entailed slaying monsters — usually with magic. But I always found something sympathetic about monsters. To me, they often seemed misunderstood and maligned. Yes, the Minotaur devoured innocent youths. But did he ask to be born a vicious half-breed, trapped in the Labyrinth? 

The monsters of myth continue to have a mass appeal, as evidenced by the vampire craze (think True Blood, Twilight, Interview With the Vampire and The Vampire Diaries). 

As my friend Heather’s little boy, Gulliver, explained to me about the Batman villain Two-Face, “He’s a likable baddie.” He paused, then continued, “He’s a baddie — but he’s a goodie to me.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself. 

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While scrolling though episodes of The History of Ancient Greece podcast, I was intrigued to see one that had an interview with Liz Gloyn, senior lecturer in Classics at Royal Holloway at the University of London and author of Tracking Classical Monsters in Popular Culture. Upon listening, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why didn’t my college offer courses on monster theory?!

Liz Gloyn, author of Tracking Classical Monsters in Popular Culture

I reached out to Dr. Gloyn, and she graciously agreed to answer some questions about monster theory and her obsession with things that go bump in the night. –Wally

What drew you to monsters in the first place?

To be perfectly honest, I got cross! I had come up with an idea about how the original Clash of the Titans film used monsters and wanted to read what people had said on this subject, but when I went to look at the existing literature, there was nothing there. I could have read all I wanted to on the representation of the famous Greek heroes — Perseus, Theseus, Hercules and the rest — but monsters got treated as if they were scenery. That didn’t make any sense to me, so after I had finished with the piece I wanted to write about Clash of the Titans, I decided it was time for the monsters to get some proper attention of their own. 

The Italian movie poster for the original Clash of the Titans, which came out in 1981

“It’s noticeable how many monsters turn out to be women — or, if they’re male, they’re hypersexualized and hyperviolent, reflecting what happens without the controlling influence of civilization. ”

— Liz Gloyn, University of London

What is monster theory?

Monster theory is the field of academic studies which seeks to explain and understand the function of monsters. It’s based on a very influential piece by a medievalist, Jeffrey Jerome Cohen, who set out seven theses of monster culture, or seven ways in which monsters manifest and make themselves known. 

Few could dream up creepy creatures like Hieronymus Bosch, who painted up horrorscapes in the late 1400s and early 1500s

Monster theory argues that monsters are cultural creations — that is, the particular fears and concerns of a given culture will generate monsters which reflect those fears and concerns. They might be about the “other,” whether you define that in terms of gender, sexuality, ethnicity or something else; they might be about behavioral taboos which need to be observed to keep society safe. And however hard a culture tries to banish a monster, it always comes back. 

How has the perception of monsters changed over the years?

In the ancient world, monsters were very much known by how they looked — you could spot a monster a mile off, although it was also possible to bump into one by accident if you were wandering around the forest not paying attention. 

What we’ve seen since antiquity is a move away from a monstrous outside necessitating a monstrous inside. The break begins with Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, where the Creature is initially an innocent and only becomes monstrous when people treat him badly because of his appearance. 

The frontispiece to an 1831 edition of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

What we’re seeing in the 21st century is a major anxiety over not being able to spot a monster on sight — we fear things like the serial killer, the faceless evil government corporation and the imperceptible virus carrying a gruesome disease. That’s what makes the presence of classical monsters in popular culture even more interesting — they’re still immediately recognizable, and so out of step with more modern kinds of monstrosity, yet still have considerable appeal.

What’s the most surprising finding from your research on monsters?

I think what I’ve been most surprised by is the sheer range of modern interpretations of classical monsters out there. When people know you’re working on this stuff, they pass on every example that they come across, and some of the things that have been shared with me are really amazing: tattoos, bar signs, graffiti, as well as places you might expect to find them like computer games, films and books. 

Dr. Gloyn didn’t know Wally has a Medusa tattoo — though she’d hardly be surprised

I’ve been particularly interested to find how popular Medusa tattoos are. As a monster that can turn people to stone with a glance, she’s not the most obvious thing to have permanently inked on your arm, but she’s clearly been a very important choice for a lot of people. 

Head of Medusa by Peter Paul Rubens and Frans Snyders, circa 1618. Not too many people know that Medusa was a rape victim punished by being transformed into a monster

What monster has been most maligned in your opinion?

Historically, it does have to be Medusa — her origin myth as told to us by Ovid in his poem The Metamorphoses is pretty explicit that the transformation happens after Poseidon has raped her, specifically as a punishment from Athena.

When you hear Medusa’s story, you can’t help but feel some sympathy for her and be pleased that she’s such a badass, even after death

Ovid’s version has been the most read and most influential in post-classical cultures, but until recently Medusa’s rape was translated away as “seduction” or a similar euphemism. Thankfully, as Latin literature has been opened up to a wider audience and stopped being the province of elite white men, we’re starting to see more versions of the story which grapple with Medusa’s identity as a survivor of sexual violence, so that aspect of the myth is beginning to get the coverage it should have.

Centaurs were wild creatures hardly more civilized than the wild beasts attacking them in this mosaic

What does monster theory tell us about how women are perceived? Men? Any other groups?

Monster theory argues that monsters come into existence in order to help society articulate fears and concerns about people not belonging to the dominant group — so, given the social structures of patriarchy, it has quite a lot to say about how society monsters women! Particularly in Greek myth, it’s noticeable just how many monsters turn out to be women — or, if they’re male, like centaurs, they’re hypersexualized and hyperviolent, reflecting what happens without the controlling influence of civilization. 

The Rape of Hippodamia by Peter Paul Rubens, 1638. Drunken centaurs tried to carry off the bride at her wedding feast

What looking at monsters that map on to different groups of people really tells us is what kind of threat they are supposed to hold. We see this, for instance, in the demonization of sexually active women in figures like the Sirens, or the way that villains in Hollywood are so often queer-coded, even in films made this century. 

Every society and every time period will react to these threats differently, so while there are some patterns we can spot which repeat, each monster reflects back the particular concerns of the society that generated it.  

The Victorious Sphinx by Gustave Moreau, 1886. You had only one chance to get the riddle of the Sphinx right

What’s your favorite monster, and why?

I have a soft spot for Medusa, as you may already have noticed, but I’m going to say the Sphinx.

Oedipus and the Sphinx by Gustave Moreau, 1864. The wandering hero solves the riddle, so upsetting the Sphinx, she kills herself

Before Oedipus shows up and solves her riddle, she has been patiently sitting on the road to Thebes, saying her piece to every passing traveller and then, when they don’t listen to her properly and instead try to mansplain her riddle to her, eating them. I admit that this might be a slightly free interpretation of the myth, but it does strike me that Oedipus solves the riddle because he’s the first person to actually pay attention to what the Sphinx is saying, as opposed to all her previous victims who just thought that they’d understood her. 

Hercules and Cerberus by Peter Paul Rubens, 1637. Bad doggie! The three-headed pooch Cerberus guards the gates of Hell, but is caught by Hercules as one of his tasks

What monster would you least like to encounter?

Cerberus. I’m just not a dog person, let alone a three-headed dog person. 

The Many Layers of Luxor Temple

The town of Luxor now surrounds this ancient complex built as a festival site by Amenhotep III and added on to by Hatshepsut, King Tut and Alexander the Great.

The modern city of Luxor has been built around the ancient temple complex

Americans never wanted a monarch like our friends across the pond, against whom we rebelled to set up a democracy. So we don’t know what it’s like to get caught up in a king’s or queen’s jubilee as the Brits do. 

It was a similar type of celebration that led to Luxor Temple. Amenhotep III, having been on the throne for 30 years, was due a Sed festival, an ancient rite to represent the rejuvenation of the pharaoh and renew his contract with the gods. Not every pharaoh made it three decades on the throne — at a time when that was pretty much the life expectancy — and Amenhotep was determined to celebrate his jubilee unlike any of his forebears. 

“Don’t miss the carvings of none other than Alexander the Great worshipping Amun-Min, whose massive hard-on points toward the legendary, bisexual conqueror.”

Luxor Temple was an important place of worship for 3,000 years!

He looked three miles south of Karnak Temple and directly across the Nile from his mortuary temple at a small shrine that acted as the “southern residence” of the composite god Amun-Ra. The town of Luxor, known as Thebes in ancient times, now surrounds the temple complex.

This colonnade was designed to resemble bundles of papyrus, an important plant for the Egyptians, used to make paper, sandals and other essentials

Amenhotep III had his architects design a vast open court with double rows of columns that resemble bundles of papyrus. The pharaoh was becoming more and more interested in solar worship, so he instructed that no roof cover this structure, allowing the sun’s rays to fill the space. With electrum walls and silver furnishings, you can only imagine how blinding the court would have been on a sunny day, filling worshippers with a sense of awe at the power of Amun-Ra.

Because they make noise at sunrise, as if in greeting, baboons were connected to sun worship for the Ancient Egyptians

Son of God

But Egyptologists say that the most important room in Luxor Temple is a small one at the back, behind the shrine where the solar barque, the god’s vessel, was kept, and next to an offering room. In this seemingly unobtrusive chamber, Amenhotep III rewrote his history (a favorite pastime of the pharaohs). He tells the tale of how his mother, Mutemwia, was visited in her bedchamber by what looked like her husband, Thutmose IV, but was actually the chief deity, Amun-Ra. 

The inscription at Luxor is a much more graphic recounting than the divine parentage story Hatshepsut inscribed in her mortuary temple. Amenhotep seems to delight in the details of his mother’s arousal:

She awoke because of the god’s scent and cried out with pleasure before his majesty. … She rejoiced at the sight of his beauty, and love of him suffused her body. …

“How great is your power!” … Your dew permeates all my limbs.” And then the majesty of this god did all that he desired with her.

Amenhotep-ruler-of-Thebes is the name of this child that I have placed in your womb. … He shall exercise potent kingship in this entire land. … He shall rule the Two Lands like Ra forever.

Speaking of graphic depictions, the Amun worshipped here was conflated with the fertility god Min and was depicted with an impressive erection. Don’t miss the carvings here that show none other than Alexander the Great worshipping this god, whose massive hard-on points toward the legendary, bisexual conqueror.

Alexander the Great, crowned as pharaoh, worships Amun in the form of Min, who has one arm, one leg and one giant erection

Luxor Temple became the primary stage for kingly rituals, including the Opet festival, when the Amun statue at Karnak would come for a visit.

An avenue of sphinxes once stretched for two miles, connecting Luxor to Karnak Temple

Various pharaohs put their stamp on Luxor, as seen in the Court of Ramesses

A Favorite of the Pharaohs

Over the course of 3,000 years, pharaohs added onto or rebuilt the temple. It’s interesting that Amenhotep III is known as the Sun King, and that his son, Amenhotep IV,  later chose the name of Akhenaten when he infamously shifted worship away from the pantheon led by Amun to a single deity, Aten, the sun itself. It seems the son took the father’s solar passion to an extreme. 

While Amenhotep laid the foundation for a colonnade in front of his sun court, it was completed by Akhenaten’s short-lived son, the famous Tutankhamun. Inside the massive hall, columns soar 60 feet into the air, and six striding colossi wowed visitors. 

Unlike so many other temples of Ancient Egypt, Luxor is open-aired, highlighting its connection to the sun

Ramesses II, who never shied away from an opportunity to proclaim his greatness, added on to Luxor, installing a forecourt, a pylon gateway and statues out front. To obtain the construction materials needed, he engaged in another preferred pastime of the pharaohs: razing and raiding the temples and pyramids of ages past. 

Ramesses shifted the axis of the temple to the east to align it with Karnak, to which it was connected by a sphinx-lined processional avenue.

You can see where the ancient stone wall ends and the new mosque built atop it starts

Religions Built Atop One Another 

Luxor, like most of the temples of Ancient Egypt was at some point buried in the shifting sands of the desert. But at no sight is this more clear than here, where you can literally see the different colors of the rock showing what was buried for millennia. 

Old meets new and Islam meets Ancient Egyptian at Luxor

You can also see how the complex was converted to various Christian churches in the 4th to 6th centuries, when Romans incorporated the entire complex into a castrum, or fortified military encampment. Icons of various holy figures can still be seen painted on one of the walls. 

In the late 3rd century, during the reign of Diocletian, this section of Luxor became a Roman legionary shrine. Part of the fresco can still be seen

With the rise of Islam, Muslims built a mosque atop one of the churches here. This striking place of worship sits perched atop one of Luxor’s surrounding walls and is still in use to this day. 

Venture to the back of Luxor Temple to see statues of King Tut and Queen Ankhesenpaaten

A Bizarre Ritual Out Back

While we wandered the open-air structures at the back of the temple, past two pairs of decaying statues, an Egyptian policeman approached us. The ubiquitous machine gun strapped across his chest that never failed to put me ill at ease was counteracted by his beaming smile. 

He signaled for us to follow him. A bit nervous but curious, Duke and I followed him into a nook in the far corner of the complex. The policeman gestured for our phone to take a picture. With Duke’s iPhone in hand, he began a series of strange choreography, intertwining our fingers of one hand and having us touch the ancient stone with the other. (I know you’re not supposed to touch the monuments, but when an armed guard tells you to do something, you obey. Sure enough, we weren’t the first to follow this bizarre ritual — the stone was worn, polished by the oils of countless hands.) He snapped a shot, then had us hold our hands toward each other in a prayer gesture, like we were about to play pattycake. Snap, another picture. And finally, he had us keep our hands in that position but place them against the wall in the same spot we had previously touched. 

An armed policeman ran Duke and Wally through a series of strange motions — though they have no idea what it all meant

It was all quite amusing, though we’re not sure what exactly was the desired outcome. Perhaps it was an ancient spell for fertility — and if that’s the case, what a waste doing it on a couple of gays. 

We offered the cop a tip, known as baksheesh in Arabic, which he gladly pocketed. 

Admission to Luxor Temple costs 140 Egyptian pounds, or less than $9 at the time of this writing. –Wally

 

Lesser-Known Egyptian Gods

Nut, Geb, Bes and Ptah, oh my! A who’s who of Egyptian deities.

Even if you’re familiar with the stars of the Ancient Egyptian pantheon like Osiris and Re, you probably don’t know some of their colorful cohorts. Meet the less well-known but still batshit crazy gods and goddesses who sport the head of a lion, crocodile, dung beetle and other creatures.

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RELATED: The Major Egyptian Gods

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Aten

Aka: Aton

Domain: The sun

Description: The sun with a uraeus (the sacred asp) at its base, with rays of light that each end in outstretched hands, some of which hold ankhs when shining upon anyone in the royal family.

Strange story: Historians believe that Pharaoh Akhenaten’s decree to abandon the old gods and worship only the Aten is the first instance of monotheism — and could very well have influenced the Jewish religion.

Bes

Aka: Aha

Domain: Protector of children and pregnant women

Description: A dwarf with a large head featuring bulging eyes, a protruding tongue, a beard and a lion’s mane. Sometimes depicted with a large belly and sagging breasts

Consort: Beset 

Strange story: Pilgrims would spend the night in incubation chambers covered with images of Bes and Beset to cure themselves of infertility or impotence.

Geb

Domain: Personification of the Earth, healing — colds, fevers and scorpion stings in particular

Description: A man lying on his side, one arm supporting himself, beneath his spouse, Nut, the personified sky. Grain sprouts from his ribs and vegetation from his back.

Consort: Nut

Strange story: His laughter is what causes earthquakes.

Hapi

Aka: Hapy

Domain: The yearly flooding of the Nile

Description: A man with a swollen belly, long hair and pendulous female breasts, sometimes with a cluster of papyrus on his head

Strange story: One ancient text relates that 1,089 goats were sacrificed to Hapi in a fertility rite.

Khepri

Domain: The sun

Description: A black scarab, or dung beetle, or a man with one for his head.

Strange story: Male scarabs push around small balls of dung. Ancient Egyptians believed that the sun, in turn, was pushed through the sky every day by Khepri.

Min

Aka: Amun-Min

Domain: Male virility

Description: A black mummified man who holds his wrappings in his right hand and his hard-on in his left, though he’s often shown with only one arm and one leg

Strange story: Offerings to Min depicted lettuce, a symbol of sex due to its semen-like milky sap.

Neith

Domain: War, creation, motherhood and the funerary process

Description: One of the oldest of the Egyptian pantheon, Neith’s iconography shifted through the centuries. She’s sometimes shown as a woman holding an ankh and was scepter or wearing the Red Crown of Lower Egypt. She’s also depicted holding a bow and arrow or a harpoon. As the mother of Sobek, she’s shown suckling a small crocodile at each breast. The goddess could also appear in the guise of a serpent or fish.

Strange story: She’s so wise that even the sun god Re comes to her for counsel. But if you don’t follow her advice, she gets so angry she’ll make the sky fall. 

Nut

Domain: The sky

Description: A naked woman bending over to form the heavens, her feet and hands on the horizon below. She’s sometimes depicted as a cow or sow.

Strange story: Every night, she swallows the sun, giving birth to it in the morning.

Ptah

Aka: Ptah-Nun

Domain: Creation and craftsmanship

Description: A mummified man with a long, thin erection, wearing a skull cap and false beard and carrying a scepter

Consort: Sekhmet

Strange story: While some believed that Ptah created the world on his potter’s wheel, others credited him with thinking or speaking the world into existence.

Sekhmet

Domain: Violence and healing

Description: A lion-headed woman

Consort: Ptah

Strange story: When the sun god Re grew old, his subjects plotted against him. To punish them, Re sent Sekhmet, who, in a destructive frenzy, went on a rampage, breathing fire and nearly wiping out the entire human race.

Sobek

Domain: Water

Description: A man with a crocodile head, sometimes wearing a headdress with tall feathers, horns and the sun

Strange story: Watch out, ladies! Sobek’s nickname is the Raging One because he’s known to “take women from their husbands whenever he wishes according to his desire.”

Taweret

Aka: Tawaret

Domain: Motherhood

Description: A grimacing hippo with sagging tits and a pregnant belly

Consort: Seth or Bes

Strange story: Containers made of faience were shaped like Taweret to hold breast milk. Two holes in the nipples allowed the milk to be poured out for magic rituals. –Wally

The Major Egyptian Gods and Goddesses

Who the heck were Anubis, Osiris, Thoth and Amun? Learn about Egyptian deities and the crazy stories of Egyptian mythology.

Look for the various deities from Egyptian mythology as you explore temples like Dendera, with this colorful wall featuring Thoth, Horus, Isis and others

As a kid, I loved mythology (still do) — but I hated how many different versions there were of every tale. Couldn’t they all just agree upon one story and stick with it?

Of course, now, as an adult, I realize things aren’t that simple. Deities begin as one thing and evolve into something else. They get conflated with other gods. Their worship extends to a new region, where they take on new aspects. 

If you’re planning a trip to see the wonders of Egypt, it’s helpful to know a bit about the gods and goddesses beforehand. Temple carvings can blur together after a while, so it’s more fun to be able to spot the deities in the images: Hey! I know that green-skinned mummy-looking dude! That’s Osiris, lord of the afterlife! 

Here’s a primer on this often-bizarre pantheon, mostly culled from The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt by Richard H. Wilkinson. 

Amun

Aka: Amon, Amen, Amun-Re

Domain: The sun and fertility. As the supreme god of the Egyptian pantheon, he’s also credited in some tales for thinking the world into being.

Description: A human male, often with the head of a ram

Consort: Mut

Strange story: A young daughter of the reigning pharaoh was given the role of divine wife of Amun. Her duties including rubbing the phallus of the god’s statue until she felt it “orgasm.”

Anubis

Domain: Mummification, death and the afterlife

Description: A man with a black jackal head

Strange story: Anubis mostly likely got this head because desert canines would scavenge the shallow graves in early cemeteries, and people sought protection from the very creature that would threaten their eternal peace.

Bastet

Aka: Bast

Domain: Cats and pregnancy

Description: A woman with the head of a cat, or simply a cat itself

Strange story: Entire cemeteries at Saqqara and elsewhere are filled with cat mummies killed as offerings to the goddess.

Hathor

Domain: Women, female sexuality and motherhood, as well as music and happiness

Description: A woman with bovine features, usually cow ears, as can be seen atop Hathor columns. Sometimes depicted as a cow or a woman wearing a vulture cap.

Consort: Hathor is, alternately, the mother and wife of Horus.

Strange story: One of her nicknames is Mistress of the Vagina. When the sun god Re was depressed, Hathor flashed her pussy at him. It did the trick: Re laughed and rejoined his fellow gods.

Horus

Aka: Re-Horakhty

Domain: The sky, sun and kingship

Description: A falcon-headed man or infant

Strange story: During an epic battle with his Uncle Seth, Horus climbed a mountain with his mother Isis’ decapitated head. He fell asleep, and Seth snuck up and gouged out Horus’ eyes and buried them. Lotuses sprouted from the eyes, and the goddess Hathor restored Horus’ sight by pouring gazelle milk over the sockets.

Isis

Domain: The cosmos, magic, mourning and the dead

Description: A woman with large horns and the solar disc atop her head, sometimes with wings

Consort: She’s the sister and wife of Osiris, with whom she had Horus.

Strange story: A popular way to depict Isis was to show her breastfeeding Horus. Because pharaohs were the living incarnation of Horus, Egyptian kings were said to drink Isis’ breast milk as well.

Maat

Aka: Ma’at

Domain: Truth, justice and the cosmic order

Description: A woman with a bird’s tail feather atop her head, sometimes shown with wings under her arms

Consort: Thoth

Strange story: Upon death, the heart was placed upon a scale. If it weighed less or the same as the feather of Maat, the person had led a virtuous life and could go on to the afterlife. If not, they’d be devoured by the demoness Ammit, who was part lion, hippo and crocodile. 

Mut

Domain: Motherhood

Description: Early depictions show her with the head of a lioness, but she’s most often shown as a woman in a feathered dress wearing either the White Crown of Upper Egypt or the Double Crown of the Two Lands.

Consort: Amun

Strange story: Mut was sometimes shown with an erection and three heads — those of a vulture, lion and human. In this aspect, she was said to be “mightier than the gods.”

Osiris

Domain: Ruling over death, resurrection and fertility, he’s the lord of the underworld.

Description: A green mummy holding the crook and flail, symbols of Egyptian royalty, and wearing the atef crown, a white bowling pin-like headpiece flanked by two tall feathers

Consort: Isis

Strange story: His jealous brother Seth murdered him and chopped him into pieces, hiding the body parts all over Egypt. Osiris’ dutiful wife, Isis, hunted down and found all the pieces, save one: his pecker.

Re

Aka: Ra (though he merged with many other deities as well, including Amun and Horus)

Domain: The sun

Description: The sun, encircled by a cobra, sometimes with wings. He has a falcon head in his Re-Horakhty version.

Strange story: In one myth, Re created the world. When he “cut” his cock, possibly a reference to circumcision, two deities sprang from the drops of blood: Hu (Authority) and Sia (Mind).

Seth

Aka: Set

Domain: Violence, chaos, confusion, cunning and storms

Description: A man with a long tail and a strange curved animal head that has tall, squared-off ears

Strange story: He molested his nephew Horus but then lost the throne of Egypt when he unwittingly ate lettuce that had Horus’ jizz on it. 

Thoth

Domain: Knowledge and the moon

Description: A man with the head of an ibis, a now-extinct bird with a long, thin, curved beak. Sometimes also shown as a baboon

Strange story: Thoth invented writing and is the Lord of Time, recording history. Scribes would pour out a drop of water for him from their brush pot as a libation at the beginning of each day. –Wally

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Philae Temple: Saved From Destruction

Catch this island temple of Isis in Aswan after visiting Abu Simbel — and be glad it’s no longer underwater.

When you visit Aswan, be sure to explore this island temple, one of the latest and best preserved in Egypt

That damn dam. 

The Egyptians knew that building the Aswan Dam would destroy a collection of impressive temples of the ancient world. But controlling the fickle waters of the River Nile for agriculture and hydroelectric power trumped architectural preservation. 

So, back in 1899, work began on the first Aswan Dam, sometimes referred to as the Aswan Low Dam. Completed in 1902, the structure plugged up the Nile and created an artificial body of water, Lake Nasser. And from December to March, Philae Temple, one of many such casualties, sat mostly engulfed, only its top peeking above the water.

“The first Aswan Dam flooded Philae Temple from December to March, with only its top peeking above the water.”

For four months of the year, Philae Temple and its nearby buildings, like the Kiosk of Trajan, sat underwater. The temple has since been relocated to a different, and drier, island

The Aswan Low Dam flooded Philae Temple, and the new dam, built in the 1970s, would have entirely submerged this historic treasure

For 70 years, that’s how the temple remained. But flooding from the Nile persisted to plague the area, and the Egyptian leader Gamal Abdel Nasser had dreams of bringing hydroelectric power to the entire country. Plans were drawn up to construct a new barrage, the Aswan High Dam. 

This dam would have completely flooded Philae. So good old UNESCO, the savior of so many historic sites, helmed a project, from 1972 to 1980, to move the temple, brick by numbered brick, to its current home, on Agilkia Island in Aswan.

One of the Ptolemaic pharaohs presents an offering to the goddess Isis, with her massive wings

Cult Center of the Goddess Isis

Lasting well into the Christian era of Ancient Rome, Philae was one of the last places where the Egyptian religion was practiced. Pilgrims came from far away to pay respects to the goddess Isis, who had inspired mystery cults across the empire. 

Poor Isis. Much like the swastika, which was a Hindu symbol for centuries but is now is a cringe-inducing reminder of Nazism, the Egyptian goddess’s name has been besmirched by the Islamic State terrorist group. 

In a characteristically bizarre Egyptian myth, Isis’ husband (and, um, brother) Osiris was murdered and chopped into 14 pieces by his brother Set, who then hid the body parts throughout Egypt. Isis, ever the dutiful wife, searched for the chunks of her beloved’s corpse — one of which, Osiris’ left leg, was hidden on an island near Philae. The goddess was able to recover all of the body parts, save one. Set had thrown Osiris’ penis into the Nile, where it was gobbled up by an Oxyrhynchus, a type of elephantfish.

Duke on the boat ride out to Philae Temple, seen in the background

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Part of the fun of visiting the Temple of Philae is the journey there. We didn’t have a lot of time in Aswan, so we got up at the crack of dawn to visit Abu Simbel (though ideally, you’d time your trip down there to miss the morning crowds and arrive around noon). On the way back to our hotel, the amazing Old Cataract, we asked our guide, Mamduh, if we could fit in Philae. It was getting a bit close to closing time, which was at 4 p.m. when we visited, but we didn’t want to miss seeing the complex.

We parked, and Mamduh walked with us past a small marketplace and down onto the docks. He spoke with a group of men and waved us over to one of the many boats berthed here, all narrow, white and red and lined with tires to act as fenders. We climbed aboard, our captain yanked the throttle, and the motor roared to life. 

These red and white boats are your transport to the island of Agilkia, where Philae has been moved to, stone by stone

The water in this part of the Nile is a deep blue that seems to contain the mysteries of the multiverse. There’s something magical about this peaceful stretch of the famous river, and it’s captivating to see the complex of Philae come into view as you approach from the water. 

We docked, climbed out of the boat and walked up the path to continue our expedition.

The first pylon presents an impressive entrance to the temple

Exploring the Island Temple of Philae

The island houses numerous structures. Most that remain were built by the Ptolemies (of which Cleopatra was the last) in the final two centuries BCE and then by the Roman emperors over the next 300 years.

We started by passing through the first pylon, the towered entrance, built in the telltale Ptolemaic style: two large tapering rectangular blocks joined by a smaller entryway, all sharp angles, with nary a curve or arch to be found. Two decaying lions presented themselves as non-threatening guardians.

This faceless lion doesn’t seem like much of a guardian, poor guy

Once inside the forecourt, we came upon a colonnade, an open courtyard lined by columns. On one side were rooms where priests once conducted scientific inquiries. On the other was a mammisi, or birth house. These structures are common on the outskirts of Egyptian temples and were built to honor the nativity of a deity — in this case, little falcon-headed Horus, the son of Isis and Osiris (somehow born after his father’s pecker got eaten by that fish). 

Duke and Wally at the temple complex

The courtyards have colonnades off to each side

Through another pylon, we entered the interior of the temple. This columned vestibule transported us to another world. We noted the Coptic crosses and Greek inscriptions, from when the temple was closed down and converted into a church around 535 CE by order of Emperor Justinian. In 116 CE, a group of Romans visited Philae and carved their names on the temple wall, leaving behind the oldest surviving Latin inscriptions in Egypt.

The interior of Philae

We then passed through antechambers and side rooms to reach the sanctuary of Isis — the holy of holies, as the Egyptians referred to it. This was a small room at the very back of the temple, with a block of stone that once held the solar boat used to transport the goddess’s statue when it was paraded about during festivals.

A look inside the sanctuary of the temple, where the sacred barque of Isis once sat upon a pedestal

Sunstroke Strikes!

Something we really appreciated about our guide, Mamduh, was that he always encouraged us to wander the sites we visited after he gave us a tour, telling us to take our time and find him at the ubiquitous nearby café. We highly recommend booking him or another guide through Egypt Sunset Tours.

With most of the other temples of Ancient Egypt in desert settings, one of the coolest things about Philae is the vistas with views of the water

In addition to the main temple, there are other, smaller, buildings to see on the island. While we wandered the Temple of Hathor, at the water’s edge, Duke started feeling lightheaded and nauseous. His chest flared with red splotches, and he self-diagnosed a case of heatstroke. He tottered over to the nearby Kiosk of Trajan and sat in what little shade he could find. 

The Tempe of Hathor at Philae

Take a walk around the small island to see the other buildings apart from the temple to Isis

The Kiosk of Trajan is an iconic structure at Philae

The goddess Hathor was commonly depicted with cow ears

At the Temple of Hathor, look for the dwarf god, Bes. He’s a fascinating figure — learn more about him here

Philae isn’t a good place to escape the blazing sun, as most of the complex is exposed. We had taken a quick circuit of the island and decided to end our tour since Duke wasn’t feeling well. 

A small open-air café sits at the tip of the island, and this is where we met Mamduh. We found a table in the shade and treated ourselves to ice cream. Within an instant, we were completely surrounded by cats jealously eyeing our treats. Duke and I can’t resist a friendly feline, so we dropped a few bite-sized pieces of ice cream onto the ground, which the cats would lap up happily. Mamduh laughed and shook his head in disbelief as if he had never seen such a thing before. (He probably hadn’t.)

End your adventure at the outdoor café at one end of the island

Cats lounge by the water

And they also beg for food

After our offerings to the familiars of the feline-headed goddess Bastet, we walked back to the boat. As we rounded the hill, we saw our captain, along with two other men, prostrating themselves on the wooden dock, saying their late afternoon prayers in the direction of Mecca. I felt bad when he saw us and cut short his prayer, quickly jumping up to help us aboard the boat for the short, pleasant trip back to the mainland. –Wally

A map of the Philae complex on Agilkia Island (even though it’s in French, you should still be able to decipher it

The first pylon, or entrance tower, at Philae Temple

“Isis was able to recover all of Osiris’ body parts, save one. His penis had been thrown into the Nile, where it was gobbled up by a fish.”