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Controversial Takes on the Garden of Eden and the Fall of Man

Shocking alternative theories of biblical interpretation of Eden, Eve, the forbidden fruit, the serpent and original sin.

The Garden of Eden, with the Tree of Knowledge in the center, with animals, the serpent and two humans

The Garden of Eden is considered the quintessential paradise — an untouched, idyllic realm where rivers flowed, trees bore fruit in abundance, and harmony reigned. At its heart stood the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, both laden with mystery and meaning. But was Eden a literal place, a symbolic lesson or something altogether different? Are you willing to take a bite of the Tree of Knowledge — and face the consequences?

RELATED: Did God Really Create the World in Seven Days?

The Garden of Eden as a Middle Eastern royal sanctuary

Was Eden an Actual Garden?

The Hebrew word translated as “garden” (gan) doesn’t fully capture its significance. In fact, some scholars argue that Eden was more akin to a sanctuary or a royal park — a sacred space where divine and human realms intersected. 

For some, this shifts the narrative from a picturesque plot of land to a space designed for communion between humanity and God. If Eden is a sanctuary, it might suggest that this story is about something deeper — less about location, more about the intended relationship between humanity and the divine. Remember: God would hang out and take walks with Adam and Eve. 

RELATED: What Does God Look Like?

The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden

The Tree of Knowledge: To Be Godlike?

The Tree of Knowledge is central to this story — a tree that was off-limits yet irresistible. Putting this temptation right in the middle of the garden wasn’t the nicest thing God could have done. 

Scholars have long debated what the tree truly represents. Is it about moral discernment, free will or something darker? 

Ellen van Wolde, in Reframing Biblical Studies, argues that the Hebrew word for knowledge (da’at) implies more than just knowing good from evil. It’s about power, authority and wisdom traditionally reserved for the divine. The tree, then, may be less about moral choice and more about the dangers of encroaching on knowledge and power intended only for God.

The Serpent wraps around the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden

East vs. West: Interpretations of the Serpent

The serpent slithers in as the story’s most cryptic figure. While popular culture casts the serpent as Satan himself, the original text never makes that connection. Instead, the serpent’s role is open to interpretation. 

James Barr, in The Garden of Eden and the Hope of Immortality, suggests that the serpent is a trickster figure, a symbol of chaos and subversion found in myths across cultures (think Loki, Hermes, the Joker and Deadpool). 

Gnostic traditions even flip the script entirely, portraying the serpent as a liberator who offers true knowledge, freeing humanity from an oppressive deity. 

In many Eastern cultures, snakes are revered as symbols of wisdom, fertility and even immortality. For example, in Hinduism and Buddhism, the serpent (naga) is seen as a powerful, protective force — often associated with deities and cosmic balance. In Chinese mythology, snakes are linked to longevity and good fortune, with the snake being one of the 12 zodiac animals, symbolizing deep intuition and transformation.

Contrast that with the Western tradition, where snakes have often been portrayed as malevolent creatures tied to deceit and danger. This demonization largely stems from the influence of the Bible, particularly the story of Eden. Over time, Christian theology increasingly equated the serpent with Satan himself — despite the original Genesis text never explicitly making that connection. The idea solidified through later interpretations and religious art, reinforcing the image of the serpent as a vessel of evil.

Illuminated manuscript with the serpent from the Garden of Eden

This stark difference in cultural symbolism reflects a deeper divide in worldview. In Eastern traditions, the snake’s ability to shed its skin is seen as a metaphor for renewal and spiritual growth. Meanwhile, in the West, this same attribute is often viewed with suspicion, implying deception and the capacity to mislead — qualities emphasized in the Eden narrative.

So, the serpent’s reputation as a trickster in the Garden of Eden could be interpreted through a dual lens: one that either condemns it as the catalyst of humanity’s fall or respects it as an agent of transformative knowledge. 

The fruit of the Tree of Knowledge: apple or pomegranate?

The Fruit: Apple, Fig or Something Else?

The forbidden fruit is widely portrayed as an apple, but the Bible is conspicuously silent on the specifics. Some scholars speculate that it could have been a fig, linking it to the fig leaves Adam and Eve later use to cover themselves (Genesis 3:7). 

Others suggest a pomegranate, a fruit rich in symbolism across ancient cultures, often associated with fertility and the underworld. 

Apples are originally native to Central Asia, specifically the area around modern-day Kazakhstan. They eventually spread to Europe, but they wouldn’t have been a common fruit in the ancient Near East. So how did apples become the go-to symbol for the forbidden fruit?

The answer lies in a combination of linguistic coincidence and artistic tradition. In the 4th century, when the Bible was translated into Latin, the word for evil, malum, closely resembled the word for apple, malus. This play on words may have led to the association between the apple and the forbidden fruit. Over time, Western art reinforced this image, depicting Eve handing Adam an apple in countless paintings and sculptures, cementing the fruit’s place in popular imagination.

People enjoy the beautiful, peaceful garden of Dilmun, with a waterfall and stream

Eden and Other Myths: A Remix of Ancient Stories?

The Garden of Eden narrative shares striking similarities with older myths from the ancient Near East, particularly the Sumerian tale of Dilmun, a paradise described as a place without sickness, death or  suffering. In this story, Dilmun is a garden blessed by the gods, where pure waters flow and all living creatures thrive in harmony. Much like Eden, Dilmun is portrayed as a utopia, symbolizing a world untouched by the corruption of mortality.

What’s fascinating is how these myths overlap and diverge. The Sumerian myth, which predates the biblical account by several centuries (the earliest versions of Dilmun date back to around 2100 BCE, as opposed to the Genesis story, which was written sometime much later, sometime around 580 BCE), emphasizes the idea of a divinely created paradise. Genesis, on the other hand, reinterprets this concept in a monotheistic framework. 

The Garden of Eden, with lush foliage and a waterfall with stream

One key difference lies in the purpose of these narratives. While Dilmun is primarily a tale of divine blessing and the ideal state of life, Eden’s narrative centers on a moral test, the introduction of human free will and the consequences of overreaching divine boundaries. 

Another parallel is found in the Mesopotamian Epic of Gilgamesh, which contains a scene where the hero seeks a plant that grants immortality, only to lose it to a serpent. This echoes the Eden story, where a serpent plays a central role in the loss of paradise. The Epic of Gilgamesh, likely written around 1800 BCE, also predates Genesis and suggests that the themes of a lost paradise and a deceiving serpent were circulating in the cultural consciousness long before the Hebrew Bible was compiled.

God casts out Adam and Eve, who hides her face in shame, from the Garden of Eden

The Fall of Man: Paradise Lost

We all know the basics: Adam, Eve, a serpent, a forbidden fruit and the catastrophe that supposedly cursed all of humanity. But what if this story isn’t just a cautionary tale of disobedience? Scholars have long debated whether the so-called “Fall” was a tragic mistake or a necessary event — perhaps even one destined from the start. Is this exile merely a punishment — or is it part of humanity’s necessary evolution? 

Traditionally, the Fall is framed as humanity’s catastrophic lapse — the moment Adam and Eve traded paradise for suffering, death and toil. But what if it was less about disobedience and more about the maturation of humanity? Elaine Pagels argues in The Gnostic Gospels that eating the fruit was a catalyst for growth. Rather than a “fall” from grace, the story can be seen as a necessary step toward knowledge and independence. The departure from Eden marks the beginning of human history, with all its ambiguities, tensions and possibilities. 

The garden may have been a place of bliss, but it was also a place of ignorance. Leaving Eden means entering the world of complexity — where knowledge, creativity and culture become possible. In this reading, the “Fall” is less a tragedy and more the first step toward becoming fully human.

In this light, the knowledge of good and evil isn’t simply a curse but the beginning of human moral consciousness — the first moment when humans took responsibility for their choices and lives.

God looks upon Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden after they've adopted clothing

Eve as the Scapegoat: Misogyny in the Making

It’s impossible to discuss the Fall without addressing Eve’s role. For centuries, she’s been painted as the original temptress, responsible for humanity’s descent into sin. But feminist scholars like Phyllis Trible in God and the Rhetoric of Sexuality argue that this reading is a distortion. Eve’s act is often presented as malicious and subversive, yet the text itself describes her as thoughtful and engaged in ethical reasoning. 

Eve and Adam hold fruit from the Tree of Knowledge

The vilification of Eve has led to centuries of misogynistic interpretations, turning her into a scapegoat for humanity’s flaws. A more nuanced reading might see Eve as curious, rational and willing to take risks — qualities that are both human and, in many ways, admirable.

Eve holds an apple, tempted by the Serpent

Original Sin: A Later Invention

The concept of “original sin” — the idea that Adam and Eve’s disobedience condemned all future generations — largely comes from Saint Augustine’s interpretation, which heavily influenced Christian doctrine. But is this really what the Genesis authors intended? John Hick, in Evil and the God of Love, suggests that inherited guilt was an overlay imposed by later Christian theology. There’s no evidence that early Jewish interpretations saw the Fall as a hereditary curse, he argues. 

The original story, then, may have been more concerned with the inevitability of human frailty rather than branding all of humanity with perpetual guilt. The shift in interpretation has had profound consequences, shaping millennia of theology and human self-perception.

Adam and Eve, ashamed, after eating of the Tree of Knowledge in Eden

Exile From Eden

The tale of Eden and the Fall of Man is a story that has sunk its teeth into human imagination for millennia — a seemingly simple narrative of temptation and transgression that, upon closer inspection, reveals layers of meaning and controversy. 

From a sanctuary more akin to a divine throne room than a garden, to a serpent who might be more liberator than villain, and a bite that offered not just forbidden fruit but the bitter-sweet taste of knowledge and independence, this story challenges our notions of innocence, guilt and what it means to be human. Perhaps we never lost paradise after all. –Wally

Controversial Takes on the Creation: Rethinking the Genesis Story

Explore the Genesis creation story through the lens of symbolic timelines, ancient mythological influences, and the evolving dialogue on gender roles and the imago Dei. 

It all starts with a void, a formless, dark abyss. Then, a single command — “Let there be light” — kicks off the creation of the universe. In a mere seven days (or was it?), God separates light from darkness and land from sea, populates the animal kingdom and eventually crafts humanity in his image. It’s a tale almost everyone knows, but beneath its simplicity lies a world of debate, alternative interpretations and a bit of controversy.

Things get even more interesting when you look at the original Hebrew. The word for God here is Elohim, which is a plural noun.

So what gives?

The Cosmic Timeline: Literal Days or Epic Metaphor?

While many people believe that Genesis lays out a precise timeframe — six 24-hour days followed by a well-earned divine rest — others argue that this timeline is more symbolic. 

Let’s recall that the Bible isn’t a science textbook. The Old Testament was composed by various authors over many centuries, reflecting a range of perspectives and historical contexts. Many scholars believe that large portions were never intended to be taken literally, but were instead written as symbolic narratives or moral lessons.

The Day-Age Theory

One interpretation, known as the Day-Age Theory, suggests that each “day” represents a long epoch rather than a 24-hour time period. This perspective attempts to reconcile the biblical narrative with scientific understandings of the age of the universe. Advocates of this view point out that the Hebrew word used in Genesis, yom, can refer to different lengths of time, depending on the context.

This discussion enriches the Genesis narrative by allowing for interpretations that align with both ancient cultural contexts and modern scientific perspectives. For example, on the third day, God separated the land from the sea — an event that, according to this view, could have unfolded over millennia.

Other Ancient Myths: Genesis in a Broader Context

The Genesis creation story isn’t a one-of-a-kind tale; it’s more like a remix of the ancient world’s greatest hits. Back in the day, everyone from the Babylonians to the Egyptians had their own origin stories, where gods shaped the world. 

One of the most famous of these is the Babylonian Enuma Elish, a myth dating back to the 2nd millennium BCE.

In both Genesis and the Enuma Elish, creation begins in a world of water and darkness. Genesis opens with “the Spirit of God hovering over the waters” (Genesis 1:2), while the Enuma Elish starts with the mingling of the freshwater god Apsu and the saltwater goddess Tiamat. 

The key difference lies in how order is brought out of this chaos. In the Enuma Elish, creation is the result of a violent divine conflict. The god Marduk slays Tiamat and slices her body in half, using one part to create the heavens and the other to form the earth. In contrast, Genesis depicts an orderly and peaceful process: God speaks, and creation happens. The text emphasizes that the world is brought into being through divine command rather than conflict. 

The Divine Council and the Elohim Mystery

Another similarity lies in the presence of a divine council. In both Genesis and the Enuma Elish, the idea of a higher assembly is present. Genesis hints at this in phrases like, “Let us make man in our image” (Genesis 1:26), which have led some scholars to suggest that the pluralization in the text is alluding to a divine council. In the Enuma Elish, Marduk consults with a council of gods before he takes action. 

Things get even more interesting when you look at the original Hebrew. The word for God here is Elohim, which is a plural noun. So what gives? Is this a slip-up, a relic from polytheistic roots or a majestic way to express the fullness of God? 

Gender Roles and the Imago Dei

Genesis 1:27 famously states, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” This single verse has sparked endless debates about what it means to be made in God’s image and what it implies about gender roles. Is the imago Dei (image of God) about physical form, moral capacity, the ability to rule or something else entirely? And does the verse suggest that men and women were created as equal partners, or is there an embedded hierarchy that reflects traditional patriarchal structures?

Some scholars, like Phyllis Trible, argue that this verse in Genesis 1 speaks to an egalitarian creation — where male and female are equal partners from the outset, challenging the patriarchal interpretations that became more prevalent later in history. In her book God and the Rhetoric of Sexuality, Trible contends that the language used here emphasizes a shared humanity and mutuality between men and women. The simultaneous creation of male and female in God’s image resists any notion of hierarchy, positioning both as equal bearers of divine likeness and true partners.

The Creation Sequence in Genesis 2: Hierarchy or Partnership?

However, interpretations shift when moving to Genesis 2, where the creation of Eve from Adam’s rib introduces what some see as a declaration of male supremacy. In this version, Adam is created first, given the command to name the animals, and then put to sleep so that Eve can be made from his side. For many, this sequence has been used to argue that men hold a leadership role over women, with Eve’s creation from Adam symbolizing her derivative nature.

Bruce Waltke, in his book Genesis: A Commentary, explores how this narrative has been employed regarding gender roles. There are two schools of thought: Those who support a complementarian view argue that the sequence indicates a divinely ordained leadership role for men, while those who support egalitarianism emphasize the unity and mutual dependence expressed in the phrase “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23).

Another angle in this debate revolves around what it means to bear the image of God in relation to rulership. Genesis 1:26 says, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

The plural “them” suggests that both male and female share in this dominion. John H. Walton, in The Lost World of Genesis One, argues that rulership is a key aspect of what it means to be made in God’s image, and that this dominion is intended to be a joint responsibility. The image of God in humanity is primarily functional, emphasizing our role as God’s representatives on Earth, with male and female equally in charge.

As Trible and others have pointed out, the so-called “curse” of patriarchy in Genesis 3, where God tells Eve, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16), is framed as a consequence of the Fall, not a prescriptive mandate for all time. Trible argues that this shift is a distortion of the original egalitarian ideal and that the redemption of humanity should seek to restore the balance intended in the creation narratives.

The demonization of Eve (and, by extension, all women) continues in the telling of the Garden of Eden and the Fall of Man

The Creation Story: Timeless, Yet Ever-Evolving

The Genesis creation story may be ancient, but its interpretations continue to evolve. From questions about the cosmic timeline to debates over the roles of men and women, these texts invite us to look deeper, challenging us to explore the intersections between faith, history and science. 

The conversation is far from over — and maybe that’s the point. Genesis opens with the words, “In the beginning,” reminding us that even in our understanding, we’re still at the start of a much larger journey. –Wally

13 Ways Genghis Khan and the Mongols Were Surprisingly Innovative

Spoiler alert: The Mongols weren’t just bloodthirsty barbarians. Here are some of their shockingly progressive practices, from gender equality to standardized currency. 

Genghis Khan surrounded by scenes depicting the innovations of the Mongols

When you think of Genghis Khan, do you picture a ruthless conqueror who spent his days pillaging and plundering? Well, yes, that certainly was the case. But it turns out that Genghis, who lived from 1162-1227, was more of a forward-thinking innovator than your average medieval warlord. (By the way, most people mispronounce his name: It should be something more like Jen-gis or Ching-gis.)

One main reason why Genghis Khan has that reputation is the sheer size of the Mongol Empire at its height: “In 25 years, the Mongol army subjugated more lands and people than the Romans had conquered in 400 years. Genghis Khan, together with his sons and grandsons, conquered the most densely populated civilizations of the 13th century. Whether measured by the total number of people defeated, the sum of the countries annexed or by the total area occupied, Genghis Khan conquered more than twice as much as any other man in history,” writes Jack Weatherford in Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World, published in 2004. “At its zenith, the empire covered between 11 and 12 million contiguous square miles.”

Most people today live in countries conquered by the Mongols, whose empire “stretched from the snowy tundra of Siberia to the hot plains of India, from the rice paddies of Vietnam to the wheat fields of Hungary, and from Korea to the Balkans,” Weatherford continues. 

One of the Mongol law code’s greatest merits? No kidnapping women.

This might seem like a no-brainer today, but back then, it was a revolutionary step toward protecting individual rights.

The Mongols’ ability to conquer vast territories stemmed from their mastery of warfare, including feigned retreats, mobile cavalry, skilled archers, psychological tactics, advanced siege weapons, extensive spy networks and a remarkable ability to adapt. 

But it wasn’t all battles and bloodshed. Here are 13 ways Ghenghis Khan and the Mongols were surprisingly progressive. 

Subotai, a blacksmith who became a general, leads a Mongol army

1. Meritocracy

In the traditional feudal system, your family name determined whether you’d be polishing armor or wearing it. Genghis Khan had a different idea. He believed that talent and skill should be the keys to power, not a fancy lineage.

In action: Under Genghis, promotions were based on ability, not aristocracy. This meant that even a “nobody” could rise to be a somebody if they had the chops. Subotai, for example, was born into a low-class blacksmith family and rose to become one of Genghis Khan’s most trusted generals through his strategic brilliance, orchestrating coordinated multi-front attacks that helped the Mongols conquer vast territories across Europe and Asia.

A group of diverse religious figures, including a monk, sit in a Mongol royal court chamber

2. Religious tolerance

In a time when most leaders were busy burning heretics and smashing idols, the Mongols created a religious melting pot. Genghis Khan didn’t just tolerate different religions — he embraced them.

In action: Imagine a royal court where Buddhist monks, Muslim scholars, Christian missionaries and Taoist sages all hang out and exchange ideas over yak butter tea. Genghis Khan was smart enough to realize that forcing people to adopt one religion would only lead to unrest. Instead, he let them worship as they pleased, which, surprise surprise, led to a more stable and prosperous empire. 

A man and woman stand before a Mongol holding the law

3. Legal reforms

Ever heard of the Yassa code? No, it’s not Kanye’s newest name change — it’s the Mongol legal system. Genghis Khan’s Yassa laid down the law for everyone, from the highest nobles to the humblest herders. The rule of law applied equally, and it was strictly enforced.

In action: One of the Yassa’s greatest merits? No kidnapping women. This might seem like a no-brainer today, but back then, it was a revolutionary step toward protecting individual rights. Other notable inclusions: care for the elderly and disabled, and the prohibition of bodily mutilation as punishment. And no one was exempt: Even Genghis himself had to play by the rules. Now that’s what we call equal opportunity justice.

Women warriors ride past other empowered women in a Mongol camp

4. Female empowerment 

While medieval Europe was busy debating whether women had souls, the Mongols were giving them actual power and responsibilities. Mongolian women weren’t just seen but heard, holding positions of influence both at home and on the battlefield.

In action: Women in Mongol society could own property, initiate divorce and even fight alongside men. Genghis Khan’s daughters played key roles in governance and diplomacy, running entire regions of the empire. And to think it took 700 more years before women could even vote in America. 

A bustling Mongol market showing goods from various cultures

5. Cultural fusion

The Mongol Empire was the ultimate cultural blender, mixing traditions, languages and customs from every corner of its vast territory. This wasn’t just coexistence — it was a dynamic, thriving fusion that enriched everyone involved.

In action: In the bustling cities of the Mongol Empire, you could hear a dozen languages in the marketplace, see architectural styles from Persia to China, and taste foods from across the continent. Genghis Khan encouraged this blending of cultures, which led to a vibrant, cosmopolitan society. 

A bustling trade scene, with a Mongol paying another with paper currency

6. Standardized currency

Before the Mongols, doing business across different regions involved a confusing mess of currencies and a purse heavy with coins. Enter Genghis Khan, who introduced a standardized currency system that made trade as smooth as a Mongolian silk scarf. The Mongols embraced paper money long before it became cool.

In action: Imagine traveling from Beijing to Baghdad and using the same currency along the way. It’s like having one universal credit card in a world full of barter systems. This wasn’t just convenient; it was revolutionary. The streamlined economy boosted trade and brought prosperity across the empire. Suddenly, Marco Polo’s tales of Mongol riches make a lot more sense. 

A Mongol leader in camp divides the spoils of gold among the people

7. Distribution of wealth

After every successful raid or campaign, instead of building a giant gold statue of himself (which, let’s be honest, he totally could have), Genghis Khan divided the spoils — gold, silver, livestock, you name it — among his soldiers and the greater Mongol community via widows and orphans. This wasn’t just generosity; it was strategic brilliance. By ensuring that his troops and their families shared in the riches, Genghis Khan cultivated a fiercely loyal army and a population that was as invested in the empire’s success as he was. Talk about a profit-sharing plan!

In action: Take, for example, the aftermath of the Khwarezmian Empire’s collapse in 1221. After turning those Persian cities into a Mongol pillaging spree, Genghis didn’t keep the loot for himself. Instead, he divided it up among his troops and even sent a nice chunk back home to the families in Mongolia. This approach pleased his soldiers — turning them into recruitment posters on horseback. Who wouldn’t want to join an army where the bonus plan included a share of the spoils? It’s no wonder the Mongol Empire expanded so fast.

A Mongol in a city holds a scale in front of a large collection of tax documents

8. Tax reforms

Taxes might be as old as civilization itself, but the Mongols had a surprisingly modern take on them. Instead of bleeding their subjects dry, they implemented a fair and efficient tax system that encouraged growth and investment. Genghis Khan knew that happy traders meant a thriving economy. 

In action: Under the Mongols, taxes were based on wealth generated, not arbitrary demands. They even exempted religious leaders and certain professions — including doctors, priests and teachers — from taxes altogether. Think of it as a medieval version of tax breaks for small businesses. This approach not only fueled economic expansion but also kept the populace relatively content. 

Mongols ride horse-drawn wagons along a road by a river with bridges past cities

9. Infrastructure development

The Mongols weren’t just tearing down walls — they were building up infrastructure. They constructed an extensive network of roads and bridges that connected the far reaches of their empire. These weren’t just any roads; they were superhighways of the medieval world, facilitating trade, communication and even mail delivery.

In action: The yam system, a kind of Mongol Pony Express, allowed messages to travel across the empire at lightning speed (well, for the 13th century). Waystations with fresh horses and supplies were set up along these routes, ensuring that couriers, traders, diplomats and soldiers could move quickly and efficiently. 

A Mongol trade caravan, with men riding on camels pulling carts loaded with goods, with way stations lined in the distance

10. Promotion of trade

Before the age of globalization, there were the Mongols, creating an environment where trade could flourish, connecting East and West like never before.

In action: A world where goods, ideas and technologies flowed freely between continents: The Mongols made this possible by ensuring the safety of trade routes and establishing a network of waystations and caravanserais (inns for travelers). Traders could travel from China to Europe with relative ease, bringing silk, spices, and innovations like gunpowder and printing techniques. It was the medieval equivalent of Amazon Prime, but with more camels.

Mongol wise men share their knowledge about astronomy and other subjects

11. Knowledge transfer

The Mongols brought together the best minds from all over their vast empire. They didn’t just conquer; they collected knowledge, and boy, did they know how to network.

In action: When the Mongols captured scientists, engineers and scholars from different regions, they didn’t toss them in dungeons or hold them hostage. Nope, they put them to work sharing their expertise. Persian mathematicians, Chinese engineers and Arab astronomers all found themselves part of a massive, multicultural think tank. The result? A cross-pollination of ideas that accelerated advancements in science, medicine and technology. 

A Mongol agricultural scene with yurts, various crops and horse-drawn tools

12. Agricultural techniques

While the rest of the world was figuring out crop rotation, the Mongols were busy revolutionizing agriculture. They introduced innovative farming methods and new crops that boosted food security and productivity across their empire.

In action: The Mongols were early adopters of techniques like irrigation and soil management. They also spread crops like sorghum and millet to new regions, ensuring diverse and resilient food supplies.

Mongol warriors swarm down on horses, armed with bows and arrows

13. Military innovations

Okay, so maybe the Mongols did have a knack for warfare, but it wasn’t just brute force — they were tactical geniuses. Mongol military innovations didn’t just win battles; they changed the way wars were fought.

In action: The Mongol army’s use of composite bows, superior horsemanship and advanced siege tactics set new standards in military strategy. They also perfected the art of psychological warfare, using fear and surprise to their advantage. Their adaptability and innovation made them virtually unstoppable. 

A Mongol emcampment, with horses and yurts on the steppes

The Mongolian Stamp on the Modern World

As the dust settled on the vast empire Genghis Khan and his descendants carved out, the world had irrevocably changed. The Mongols were more than conquerors — they were connectors, innovators, and, in a paradoxical way, civilizers. 

It’s time to shed light on the accomplishments of the Mongols, especially given how much we’ve misunderstood or even demonized them. For centuries, the term “Mongoloid” was cruelly applied to children with Down syndrome, falsely attributing to them the characteristics of an entirely different race — with the assumption that one of the baby’s ancestors must have been raped by a Mongol warrior.

The Mongols’ unyielding pursuit of dominance brought disparate cultures into dialogue, facilitated trade on an unprecedented scale, and spread ideas that would ignite revolutions in governance, warfare and even cuisine. From the Silk Road’s bustling caravans to the structured postal systems and the rise of paper money, the Mongols left a legacy far richer than their warrior reputation suggests. 

“Whether in their policy of religious tolerance, devising a universal alphabet, maintaining relay stations, playing games, or printing almanacs, money or astronomy charts, the rulers of the Mongol empire displayed a persistent universalism,” Weatherford writes. “Because they had no system of their own to impose upon their subjects, they were willing to adopt and combine systems from everywhere. Without deep cultural preferences in these areas, the Mongols implemented pragmatic rather than ideological solutions. They searched for what worked best; and when they found it, they spread it to other countries. They did not have to worry whether their astronomy agreed with the precepts of the Bible, that their standards of writing followed the classical principals taught by the mandarins of China, or that Muslim imams disapproved of their printing and painting. The Mongols had the power, at least temporarily, to impose new international systems of technology, agriculture and knowledge that superseded the predilections or prejudices of any single civilization; and in so doing, they broke the monopoly on thought exercised by local elites.”

“In conquering their empire, not only had the Mongols revolutionized warfare, they also created the nucleus of a universal culture and world system,” he continues. “This new global culture continued to grow long after the demise of the Mongol Empire, and through continued development over the coming centuries, it became the foundation for the modern world system with the original Mongol emphases on free commerce, open communication, shared knowledge, secular politics, religious coexistence, international law and diplomatic immunity.”

Genghis Khan, Mongol leader

In a world that often frames history through the lens of East versus West, the Mongols remind us that our modern world isn’t a tale of isolated civilizations but a mosaic of influences, shaped by both conflict and collaboration. The very practices and beliefs we hold dear today — from the concept of religious tolerance to the mechanics of global commerce — owe a debt to a nomadic people whose empire once stretched from the steppes of Mongolia to the heart of Europe. 

In the Mongols, we find the origins of a truly interconnected world, one that continues to evolve, much like the riders who once galloped across the plains, forever altering the course of history. –Wally


Angels, Demons, Leviathan and Other Monsters in the Bible

Our glossary of New and Old Testament creatures from God’s Monsters by Esther Hamori reveals some shocking surprises. Did angels actually have wings? How are cherubs described? You won’t believe the answers!

Those who take the Bible literally must believe in monsters — the Old Testament especially is filled with them. And in almost every case, they’re working for God.

“The biblical world is full of monsters,” writes Esther J. Hamori in her 2023 book, God’s Monsters: Vengeful Spirits, Deadly Angels, Hybrid Creatures and Divine Hitmen of the Bible. “Uncanny creatures lurk in every direction, from the hybrid monsters surrounding God in heaven to the stunning array of peculiar beings touching down on earth, and from giants in the land of milk and honey to Leviathan swimming beneath the seas. Most have been tamed by time and tradition.”

When you dig into the stories of the Old Testament, a horrifying revelation takes place. This God isn’t a loving god; in fact, he’s a major dick. Time after time, God unleashes his monsters to slaughter humans — and even his Chosen People aren’t safe from his wrath.

Nowhere in the Bible are angels said to have wings.

“God is surrounded by bizarre, monstrous creatures, and they commit remarkably violent acts on his command,” Hamori says.

Disclaimer: The findings put forth in this post are those of Hamori, not me. Please don’t kill the messenger. 

New and Old Testament Monsters Guide

Abaddon, the Angel of the Abyss, in a hellscape of the Apocalypse, with a knight, lions and locust monsters

Abaddon

What its name means: A word for the abyss or place of destruction (essentially Hell)

What it looks like: He’s not described, though he’s called the Angel of the Abyss.

What it does: He’s the one who brings forth horrific monsters with iron-like locust bodies, human faces, women’s hair, lion’s teeth and scorpion tails during the Apocalypse (Revelation 9:1-11).

An angel (with no wings) holds a sword

angel

“Among the many monstrous creatures in the biblical heavens, angels are the most like us,” Hamori writes. “They’re the most human of monsters, not just in their sometimes-anthropomorphic appearance, but in their characters. They’re the best of it all and the worst, the most benevolent and the most brutal.”

What its name means: From the Greek word for messenger.

What it looks like: Most of the time, angels are described as looking like humans. And keep in mind, Hamori says, that they’re not White; they’d look like the people of the region — that is, Middle Eastern.

One aspect that’s never mentioned? Nowhere in the Bible are angels said to have wings.

They’re shapeshifters, taking other forms now and then. In Daniel 10:5-8, an angel is described as having a body like a gemstone, arms and legs like burnished bronze, a face like lightning and eyes like flaming torches. And the angel who led the Israelites through the desert appeared as a pillar of smoke during the day and a pillar of fire at night.

What it does: Most of the time, angels scare people, even when they come in peace. They tell Mary she’s going to give birth to God’s son, save Hagar and her son, Ishmael, and guard the Israelites during the Exodus. 

But they’re not always so benign. They’re also God’s warriors. One angel slaughters 185,000 Assyrians while they sleep. When Herod Agrippa is greeted like a god by the people, an angel strikes him down. He’s eaten by worms and then dies. “Not the other way around,” Hamori points out (Acts 12: 21-23).

And then there are the angels from the book of Revelation. At the end of the world, they’ll be throwing people into the fires of Hell for eternal punishment, and they’ll unleash hail and fire mixed with blood, throw a fiery mountain into the sea, poison the Earth’s freshwater, darken the sun, moon and stars, and unleash hybrid locust monsters.

See also: The Destroying Angel, the Destroyer

A black goat representing Azazel

Azazel

What its name means: His name basically means The Goat That Departs.

What it looks like: Not sure

What it does: A goat (i.e., scapegoat) is designated “for Azazel” and carries off the burden of the people’s sins (Leviticus 16:8-10). (Sounds a bit like Jesus, doesn’t it?)

A cherub-like creature, like a lion, with wings, multiple faces and covered with eyes

cherub / cherubim (plural)

“Like so many biblical monsters, the cherubim have been tamed over the centuries,” Hamori writes. “Their case is especially severe: They’ve been literally infantilized. Cherubim are imagined now as happy, fat angel babies. To the writers of the Bible, this image would be unrecognizable. They knew cherubim as something far more beastly, and far less friendly.”

What its name means: The Hebrew word is related to an Akkadian term for a type of hybrid monster.

What it looks like: This is where it gets confusing. They’re never clearly described in the Bible, though it’s thought they could be related to other guardian hybrids, like the lamassu of Assyria: winged lions or bulls with human heads.

But then there are the cherubim the prophet Ezekiel saw in a vision: “Their bodies appear humanoid, but they have four wings, straight legs with the hooves of a calf, and under their wings, human hands. Each cherub has four faces: those of a human being, a lion, an ox and an eagle,” Hamori writes. “But when he sees them again later, the four faces are those of a cherub, a human being, a lion and an eagle.”

So what exactly is the face of a cherub? Something indescribable? Or the four faces originally seen? If that sounds too bizarre to even consider, things get even more psychedelic: Their bodies sparkle like bronze, entirely covered with eyes and morphing to become a living chariot to carry God. 

And then they show up in the book of Revelations, which is one batshit crazy hallucination after another. The cherubim here still have four faces (though this time they’re of a lion, calf, human and eagle), and they’re still covered with eyes. But now they have six wings as well as hands, which they use to hold harps and golden bowls “full of the wrath of God” (Revelation 5:8-9; 15:7). 

What it does: They’re God’s bouncers, bodyguards and getaway drivers, Hamori tells us. God stationed cherubim at the gates of Eden to prevent Adam and Eve from reentering paradise. Statues of cherubim are also put to work guarding the Ark of the Covenant, where God resides on earth. (They seem a bit superfluous, since the ark, stolen by the Philistines, destroyed a statue of Dagon, one of the gods of the Old Testament, all by itself.)

As a chariot in Ezekiel’s vision, the cherubim flap their wings, which make a deafening noise. They’re fond of singing hymns and praising God. They also hand over the coals God uses to burn down Jerusalem. 

Skeletal demons, some with wings, scream in a hellscape

demon

In the Old Testament, demons are called upon to do some of God’s dirty work — though they’re not nearly as bloodthirsty as angels. “By the New Testament period, demons are definitively associated with Satan and are fully excised from the divine entourage,” Hamori writes. “God has banished his demons.”

What its name means: From Greek, describing an evil or unclean spirit

What it looks like: As vivid as later depictions of demons as hybrid horrors are, they’re glossed over in the Bible.

What it does: “If angels are the most like us, demons are the least,” Hamori writes. “They exist to cause harm. In the Hebrew Bible, they often take the form of plague, pestilence and disease. In the Gospels, an embarrassment of demons causes all manner of illness and disability.”

The Destroyer flies above Egypt during the 10th plague, when it kills the firstborn sons of those who don't have blood on their doors. People look up in fright, including a mother holding her baby

The Destroyer

What its name means: From a Hebrew word meaning “the Destroyer”

What it looks like: No description in the Bible

What it does: The Destroyer is the angel that murders all of the unprotected firstborn children in Egypt on God’s behalf during the 10th plague.

The Destroying Angel, a giant in the sky, with eyes blazing, holding a sword, ready for mass murder

The Destroying Angel

What its name means: Pretty self-evident

What it looks like: A giant filling the sky, with a massive sword drawn

What it does: Don’t confuse this guy with the Destroyer, though they’re both capable of mass murder. 

The giant Goliath in armor, holding a spear, in the style of an illuminated manuscript

giant

What its name means: Giant has an obvious translation, but the ancient Israelites used the name of one group of rivals, the Rephaim, as a generic term for giants.

What it looks like:  The bed of King Og, ruler of the Rephaim, gives us a clue as to their size: It’s 13.5 feet long and 6 feet wide. And the infamous Philistine warrior Goliath came in at over 9.5 feet tall.

What it does: They live in Canaan, a place where the people have been monsterized, turned into supersized cannibals. And so, in turn, they’re described as dehumanized foreigners (never mind that they were actually the indigenous inhabitants) that are “giants to be slain, food to be eaten, and animals to be killed,” Hamori writes.

Leviathan, the snakelike ancient sea monster

Leviathan

What its name means: Coming from a Hebrew word, the name means something like the Twisted or Coiled One.

What it looks like: The primordial sea monster’s form is somewhat left to the imagination, though we get this description in Job:

His sneezes flash forth light; his eyes are like the eyelids of the dawn. 
Out of his mouth go flaming torches; sparks of fire escape! 
Out of his nostrils comes smoke, like a basket with bulrushes ablaze.
His breath could kindle coals; flames come out of his mouth. 
In his neck lodges strength; terror dances before him. 
The folds of his flesh cleave together, hard-cast and immovable.
His chest is hard as a rock, hard as the bottom grinding stone.
When he rises up, gods fear! at the crashing, they are beside themselves. (Job 41:18-25)

The beast evolves dramatically in the book of Revelation, becoming a giant red dragon with seven heads.

What it does: “The sea monster is God’s forever foe, fought and slain in days already ancient to the biblical writers but promising to resurface for another round, destined to be slain again in the most distant future,” Hamori writes.

Psalm 104:26 has a different take: It mentions Leviathan, declaring: “whom you formed in order to play with him.” Is this eternal battle with Leviathan just a game to God? 

Job once more has the most poetic descriptions of Leviathan: 

A sword reaching him will not endure, nor spear, dart or javelin.
He thinks of iron as straw, and bronze as rotten wood.
The arrow cannot make him flee; sling-stones become chaff to him. 
Clubs are reckoned as chaff; he laughs at the shaking of javelins. 

His underparts are like the sharpest of potsherds; he crawls like a threshing sledge in the mud.
He makes the deep boil like a cauldron; he makes the sea like a pot of ointment.
Behind him, he leaves a shining wake; one would think the deep to be white-haired. 
He has no equal upon the earth, a created thing without fear. 
He looks upon everything lofty, he is king over all the proud. (Job 41:12-34)

The demon Mavet, or Death, with a massive mouth, towering over buildings reading to maul the people in the street

Mavet (aka Death)

What its name means: Death

What it looks like: He has an enormous mouth to feed his rapacious appetite.

What it does: “Mavet has come up through our windows, he has come into our palaces, to exterminate the children from the streets, the young men from the town squares” (Jeremiah 9:21). 

But you know him better as the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse: He’s the last to come, riding a pale horse. His mission? Kill one-quarter of the Earth’s population.

Two nephilim, giants born of women and sons of God, tower above people in ancient Israel

nephilim

What its name means: The word may mean something like “monstrous births.” It has to do with falling and is used to describe fetuses that are “fallen” — that is, miscarried. 

What it looks like: Hybrids who are the offspring of the daughters of men raped by the sons of God (lower-level divine beings, and not angels, Hamori points out). In one mention in Genesis, the nephilim are also described as giants.

What it does: The name is used to describe an ethnic group of “mighty men” from the land of Canaan.

See also: giant

The demon Qetev, controlling whirlwinds and storms above ships in the sea

Qetev

What its name means: Scholars aren’t sure and have translated it in a variety of ways, including Destruction or the Sting.

What it looks like: No description provided

What it does: In one story, he’s a destructive force of nature: “a whirlwind of Qetev, like a storm of mighty overflowing water he hurls down to the earth with his hand” (Isaiah 28:2).

Skeletal demon archer Resheph, aka Plague, amid fire and lightning

Resheph (aka Plague)

What its name means: We’re not sure, though it’s most often translated as Plague.

What it looks like: Outside of the Bible, he’s a god who shoots poisonous flaming arrows.

What it does: He liked to use fire and lightning to kill people at God’s behest.

God talks with the Adversary aka Satan, depicted as a black-skinned, horned man

Satan (aka the Adversary)

What its name means: Satan is the Hebrew word for adversary.

What it looks like: Forget the red skin, horns, cloven hooves and tail. There’s no real description of the adversary in the Bible. 

Adversaries can make themselves invisible, though (just not to donkeys, apparently).

What it does: The prophet Balaam was doing what God asked him to do — and yet he got a sword-wielding angel called a satan sent to murder him. 

Tip: Ride a donkey. Somehow the donkey, not known as the fastest or most agile of beasts, evades the satan’s attack not once but three times. 

It’s in the story of Job that things take a much darker turn. God and the Adversary (now capital A, in his official role as prosecutor in the heavenly court) decide to punish another innocent man, this time to see if he wavers in his faith to God. It’s some sort of sadistic experiment. 

So, the Adversary summarily kills all of Job’s livestock and most of his servants. As if that’s not enough, he then sends a windstorm to blow down a house, which collapses, crushing all 10 of Job’s kids to death. Oh, and then they throw in some torture for good measure. Job’s body is covered with painful boils from head to foot.

A seraph-like creature, with wings, humanoid body and a snake tail

seraph / seraphim (plural)

Much more impressive than their snakelike cousins, seraphim are mentioned in a vision the prophet Isaiah has, where he sees the giant form of God sitting on a throne in the Jerusalem Temple. He’s surrounded by seraphim calling out, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Armies!” (Isaiah 6:3).

What its name means:  The Hebrew word suggests burning; essentially these are “burners.”

Keep in mind that “all translation is interpretation,” Hamori writes. “In this case, translators decide that Isaiah’s heavenly seraphim are unrelated to the deadly seraphim-serpents in other texts — and so they leave the Hebrew word seraphim untranslated only in Isaiah 6. Readers then have the impression that these creatures are unconnected.”

What it looks like: They have six wings. In Isaiah’s vision, two cover their faces; two cover their feet (a euphemism for genitals in the Bible); and two are used to fly. They’ve also got humanoid hands and feet, as well the body of a snake.

What it does: Isaiah stupidly mentions that his lips are “unclean” — so a seraph takes a burning coal and shoves it on his mouth. After performing this horrifying act, “the seraph explains the logic of this assault,” Hamori writes. “It’s to get rid of Isaiah’s sin.”

A group of seraphim-serpents, snakes spewing burning poison

seraph-serpent / seraphim-serpents (plural)

During the Exodus, the wandering Jews couldn’t catch a break. After they had suffered from dehydration and disease, God sicced a swarm of poisonous snakes called seraphim-serpents on them (Numbers 21:4-9).

What its name means: Again, the Hebrew word roughly translates to “burners.”

What it looks like: This is a much less intense version of the heavenly seraphim. It’s a deadly snake with a bite of burning poison.

What it does: Kill numerous people with its lethal venom. Tip: To cure those who haven’t yet succumbed to the agonizing pain, create a seraph (Moses made his out of bronze), put it on a pole — and, in a bit of sympathetic magic, when the inflicted look upon it, they’ll be miraculously cured. 

A biblical spirit breaks apart into small pieces while a raving madman looks on

spirit

What its name means: The Hebrew word for spirit is ruah, which also means wind or breath.

What it looks like: In 1 Kings, a “spirit — which you’d think by definition, should be disembodied — comes forward from the group and stands before God,” Hamori writes. “It’s only when the spirit crosses into the human realm that it shapeshifts, as if disintegrating into myriad invisible particles that can enter the mouths of four hundred prophets.”

What it does: In 1 Samuel, we learn why Saul gets rejected by God. He’s told to slaughter every last Amalekite — but Saul has the gaul to spare one single life: that of the king. For this, he’s abandoned by God, who chooses David instead. The merciful Saul is punished, “tormented by an evil spirit that ravages his mind, sending him into fits of frenzied violence,” Hamori writes.

When they’re not driving people insane, God’s evil spirits also sow discord, as one does with Sennacherib: “I will put a spirit in him and he will hear a rumor, and he will return to his land and I will make him fall by the sword of his own hand,” God says in 2 Kings 19:6-7. (Sure enough, the king heads home — and is promptly murdered by his sons.)

An angry and destructive Old Testament God, amid flames and lightning

Is God the Real Monster?

Esther J. Hamori’s book God's Monsters challenges the sanitized interpretations of biblical creatures and forces us to confront a more terrifying and complex vision of God. 

“We’ve seen this God do bad, bad things,” Hamori writes. “He rarely does his own dirty work, instead deploying an array of monstrous creatures to get the job done, and always just the right monster for the moment: seraphim to threaten and intimidate people into submission, cherubim to guard the gateways and periodically to burn down portions of the earth and usher in divine destroyers, the Adversary to condemn and torture the innocent, spirits to gaslight, demons to destroy, and for a good old-fashioned slaying, perhaps an angel (if the angels aren’t too busy dragging people to hell or murdering masses of the earth’s population.”

The God of the Old Testament has long been understood to be a more angry, vengeful and even petty deity, especially when contrasted with the more compassionate figure of the New Testament. But the harsher aspects of God’s character have been whitewashed over time, likely because they make people uncomfortable. Hamori presents God not as a benevolent figure but one who commands a terrifying and violent entourage to enforce his will. In many ways, that makes him the biggest monster of all. –Wally

Descriptions of God’s Body in the Bible

From his massive member to a horned head, there are plenty of references to God having a corporal body in the Old Testament. Some shocking findings from “God: An Anatomy.”

God, surrounded by angels, reaches a finger out to a nude Adam in Michelangelo's Creation of Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Rome

Perhaps the most famous depiction of God is this detail of the Creation of Adam, painted by Michelangelo on ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

What does God look like? 

Most people nowadays probably fall into two camps: those who say God is incorporeal, an entity without form — and those who imagine him as Michelangelo painted him, a powerful if elderly man with a flowing white beard and a penchant for long white robes.  

Those who think of God as bodiless haven’t paid enough attention to their Old Testament, though. In fact, the first clue is right there…in the beginning.

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). 

That means God is humanlike — or should I say, humans are godlike?

It’s not so strange that God had a body. All his fellow gods did, from his competition in the Middle East to the pantheons of Ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome. 

God (Yahweh) as described throughout the Old Testament, an old man with a muscular, battle-scarred build and red skin

Add up all the descriptions of God in the Old Testament, and you get a red-skinned, powerfully built older man.

So what does he look like? Take all the Old Testament mentions of God, add them together and here’s what you get, according to Francesca Stavrakopoulou in her 2022 book God: An Anatomy:

A supersized, human-shaped body with male features and shining, ruddy-red skin, tinged with the smell of rainclouds and incense. His broad legs suggest he was accustomed not only to straining, leaping and marching, but sitting and standing resolutely stiff, posing like a ceremonial statue. His biceps bulge. His forearms are hard as iron. There are faint indentations around his big toes, left by thonged sandals. Beneath his toenails there are traces of human blood, as though he has been trampling on broken bodies, while the remnants of fragrant grass around his ankles suggest strolls through a verdant garden. The slightly lighter tone of the skin on his thighs indicates he was most often clothed, at least down to his knees, if not his ankles. Minute fibers of fine fabric — a costly linen and wool mix — indicate that his clothing was similar to the vestments of high-status priests. His penis is long, thick and carefully circumcised; his testicles are heavy with semen. His stomach is swollen with spiced meat, bread, beer and wine. The chambers of his heart are deep and wide. His fingers are stained with an expensive ink, and there are remnants of clay under his fingernails. On his arms are faint scars left from the grazes of giant fish-scales, and the crooks of his elbows, slightly sticky with a salty oil, bear the imprint of swaddling bands, suggesting he has cradled newborn babies. Traces of the tannery fluid used by hide-workers wind in a stripe around his left arm and down to the palm of his hand — a residual substance left by a long leather tefillin strap.

His thick hair is oiled with a sweet-smelling ointment, and shows evidence of careful styling: the hair-shafts suggest it was once separated and curled into thick ropes, while slight marks on the back of his scalp indicate it has been partly pinned beneath some sort of headgear, and his forehead is marked with the faint impression of a tight band of metal. Although his beard reaches beneath his chin, it has been neatly groomed, while his mustache and eyebrows are thick and tidy. The hair on his head and face shimmers — first dark with blue hues, like lapis lazuli, then white and bright, like fresh snow. And one glance, he has the beard of his aged father, the ancient Levantine god El; in another, it is the stylized beard of a youthful warrior, like the deity Baal. His ears are prominent, and their lobes are pierced. His eyes are thickly lined with kohl. His nose is long, its nostrils broad — the scent of burnt animal flesh and fragrant incense lingers inside them. His lips are full and fleshy, his mouth large and wide. It is at once the mouth of a devourer and a lover. His teeth are strong and sharp, his tongue is red hot. His saliva is charged with a blistering heat. The back of his throat is a vast, airy chamber, once humming with life. Below it is an opening of a cavernous gullet. Shadowy scraps of another powerful being, the dusty underworld king, cling to its walls.

God aka Yahweh as described in the Bible, with gray hair and beard, muscular red skin and a white robe

The depictions of Yahweh in the Bible are disparate, but some common themes emerge.

Quite a picture, eh? All these details appear in various books of the Old Testament. Here’s a sampling.

The Garden of Eden, a painting by Lucas Cranach der Ältere

God liked to walk in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve … before they dared to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Walking and Talking With God

Later in Genesis, Adam and Eve have eaten of the forbidden fruit and hide from God when they hear him “walking in the garden.”

Enoch, Noah and Abraham go for walks with God as well — as did Moses. Sure, God showed up as a burning bush when they first met, but after that, “the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend” (Exodus 33:11). 

God appearing as an old man in the burning bush to Moses

Yahweh first showed himself as a burning bush to Moses, but after a while they became good friends and would often take walks together.

Holy Shit! God’s Ground Rules 

With all that walking, God had to be careful he didn’t step in something unpleasant. 

When the Israelites flee Egypt en route to the Promised Land during the Exodus, God declares, “You shall have a designated area outside the camp to which you shall go; with your utensils you shall have a trowel; when you relieve yourself outside, you shall dig a  hole with it and then cover up your excrement, because Yahweh your God walks in your camp” (Deuteronomy 23:12-14). 

Apparently his omniscience doesn’t extend to knowing how to avoid excrement. It’s heartening to know that God steps in shit just like we do. 

Ezekiel's vision of God in the cherubim chariot with hybrid monsters and cherubs as described in the Old Testament, painted by Raphael

The prophet Ezekiel saw God in a chariot supported by hybrid heavenly creatures.

The Cherubim Chariot 

After the Babylonians destroyed and plundered the Temple, the worshippers of Yahweh surely wondered if their god had also been vanquished. So the book of Ezekiel offers up a scene of Yahweh’s escape. He is seated on his supersized throne, using the Ark of the Covenant as his footstool (!). Cherubim (not the chubby baby angels you’re thinking of but four-winged celestial beings with four faces — that of a man, lion, eagle and cherub) perch upon wheels and bear the throne aloft. 

The Eternal Father, a painting by Guercino (Giovanni Francesco Barbieri)

You didn’t want to be on Yahweh’s bad side; he was prone to violent reactions — including stomping people to death.

God’s Stomping Grounds

But God doesn’t only walk and rest his feet. Sometimes he goes on a murderous rampage. Yahweh marches back from a massacre in the enemy kingdom of Edom: “I trampled down peoples in my anger, I crushed them in my wrath, and I poured out their life blood on the earth,” he tells a sentry in Isaiah 63:6. 

“This is a god who has felt the crunch of bones and skulls under his feet; the warm, wet mulch of human flesh around his ankles; the heart spray of blood on his legs,” Stavrakopoulou writes.

Isaiah's vision of God in the Temple

In Isaiah’s vision of God, is that a massive robe filling the Temple — or something more phallic?

God’s Genitals on Display

A couple of prophets even boasted of seeing God’s oversized genitals — and yes, this is all in the Bible. Isaiah, in the middle of the 8th century BCE, entered the inner sanctum of the Jerusalem Temple, where he beheld a surprising sight. 

“My eyes have seen the King, Yahweh of Hosts!” the prophet declares in Isaiah 6:1. “I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, tall and lofty! His lower extremities filled the temple!”

But the Hebrew word he used for “lower extremities” was shul, which actually means “genitals,” Stavrakopoulou informs us. (It’s worth pointing out that many scholars argue that the word actually means the hem of a robe.)

So Isaiah is saying he saw God naked — and, um, let’s just say he was impressed. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that God’s hung. 

Another prophet, Ezekiel, describes a much stranger encounter: He sees God and focuses on what “looked to be his motnayim” — another Hebrew word for genitals, Stavrakopoulou writes. He looks above and below and sees the rest of the Lord’s body engulfed in flames (Ezekiel 1:27). 

I’m not sure why Ezekiel seems hesitant about if he’s looking at God’s groin or not — perhaps all that fire is blinding him a bit — but heavens knows Isaiah had no doubts about what he was seeing. 

A small statues of the Ancient Egyptian god Min, with an enormous erection

The Ancient Egyptian god Min was usually depicted as having a massive erection.

‘The Imposing Erect Virility’ of the Gods

As shocking as this might seem, depictions and stories of gods having erections were common at the time these Bible books were written. A carving of the Egyptian god Min at Luxor Temple, for example, shows the fertility deity with a massive hard-on as he greets Alexander the Great. 

“In the ancient cultures of southwest Asia [Stavrakopoulou’s non-Western-centric terminology for the Middle East], a sizable penis, and even its occasional overt exhibition, did not render male deities less godly, but appropriately divine. The imposing erect virility of masculine gods was vividly celebrated in these ancient societies and the religious literature they produced,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “[T]he penises of ancient southwest Asian gods embodied a conspicuous and powerful hyper-masculinity deemed essential to the ordering, fruitfulness and well-being of the cosmos and its inhabitants.”

Cain Fleeing from the Wrath of God (The Body of Abel Found by Adam and Eve)

Cain, who killed his brother, Abel, might have been God’s son, not Adam’s!

Cain’s Baby Daddy Isn’t Adam…But God?!

Most of us assume that Adam and Eve had children — but if you look at the Bible, Eve declares that Cain at least was actually the offspring of her and God: “I have procreated with Yahweh!” she shouts in Genesis 4:1. 

“The more literal translation of the Hebrew is rarely seen,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “Most renderings of this verse default to a theologically fudged interpretation, so that Eve is merely presented as claiming that Yahweh has ‘helped’ her to ‘acquire a man,’ as any good fertility god might.”

God the Father, a painting by Jacob Herreyn

Yahweh, like the Greek gods, who had sex with many unwilling women, could be prone to lust.

God as a Sexual Predator 

In the book of Hosea, God not only has a body — he actually gets it on with a young woman who’s the personification of Israel. 

“Here, Israel is a capricious teenager whose sexual allure so intoxicates God, he falls to scheming obsessively and possessively to make her his wife,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “‘I will take her walking into the wilderness and speak to her heart … and there she will cry out.’ 

“These words betray more than the romantic fantasy of a love-struck deity,” she continues. “God’s language here marks a shift from passion to threat: In claiming he will ‘seduce’ her, he uses a Hebrew expression more usually employed in the Bible to describe the rape of captive women.”

This idea of God as a sexual predator — or even just a sexual being — has been problematic for centuries, and that’s certainly true with our current sensibilities. 

“Theologically, the sexual grooming and graphic violence God inflicts on his young wife is immensely difficult for some modern-day believers to reconcile with their idealized constructs of God,” Stavrakopoulou says. “But for many Jewish and Christian readers, it is more specifically the graphic portrayal of a sexually actively deity that has proved unbearable: It has been mistranslated, dismissed as ‘mere’ allegory, or simply ignored.”

Foreign books are immensely dependent upon their translations — all the more essential for the Bible, a book so many people take literally. That’s what makes this softening of the original message so alarming. 

“In standard modern translations of the Tanakh [the Hebrew Bible] and the Christian Bible, the graphic sexual imagery of these troubling texts is softened or obscured with sanitized vocabulary and clunky euphemisms,” Stavrakopoulou writes. 

Yahweh's butt is seen out of his red robe, when he shows it to Moses, as described in the book of Exodus

Yahweh knew Moses couldn’t handle seeing him all in his glory — so he offered just a peek of his cheeks.

God Shows Moses His Glorious Backside 

Up on Mount Sinai, Moses asks God to reveal himself: “How shall it be known that I have found favor in your sight, I and your people?” he asks in Exodus 33:16-18. “Please, show me your Glory.”

But God says that Moses can’t handle his awesomeness — he’ll only allow him to see his backside. It’s the same term used elsewhere in the Bible to describe the buttocks of an animal, according to Stavrakopoulou. 

God adds that no mortal could gaze upon his face and live. “In its narrative context, it is a capricious assertion, for Yahweh and Moses have already enjoyed a number of conversations ‘face to face’ — and Moses has survived,” Stavrakopoulou points out. 

Like other deities of the Middle East, Yahweh’s body is engulfed in a dazzling aura: He is “wrapped in light as with a garment” and “clothed with glory and splendor.” 

It’s all too easy to think of these descriptions as hyperbolic — but they’re meant to be taken literally, Stavrakopoulou asserts. 

Top of a statue of Moses showing his long beard and the horns he got after seeing God

Whether they were literal or beams of light, Moses came back from a convo with God bearing horns.

The Glory of God Makes Moses Horny

“In Exodus, however, God’s luminescent backside clearly gives off something more powerful than a wondrous afterglow. When Moses finally descends from the Holy Mountain, clutching the Ten Commandments, his own face is startlingly transformed,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “But quite how is a matter of some debate, for the ancient Semitic root of the Hebrew term used to describe this transformation probably means ‘horn,’ but is also associated with light. The earliest translations of this peculiar story indicate that, from at least the 3rd century BCE, Moses was understood to have developed horn-like rays of light, so that his face beamed with a divine radiance. Other ancient scholars would assume Moses’ face literally grew horns — a symbol of the divine elsewhere in the Bible — giving rise to startling medieval images of Moses as a double-horned being. Either way, Moses undergoes a bodily transformation so profound that the Israelites cannot look him in the face and are afraid to go near him. Moses’ visual encounter with God has left its mark on him, rendering him more divine than human.”

Moses' Testament and Death, painted by Luca Signorelli

Poor Moses never entered the Promised Land — but was it God who took the care to bury him?

God the Gravedigger

Moses seems to have been the Old Testament character with the most face time with God. And that lasted right up until the moment of his death. The poor guy — being a favorite of Yahweh doesn’t get you much. Moses dramatically led the exodus of escaped Israelite slaves out of Egypt, delivered the Ten Commandments and wandered the desert for 40 years. Finally, the time has come to enter the Promised Land. But, in a shocking twist, God shows Moses the beautiful sight of their hard-earned payoff — and then tells him to literally drop dead: “Moses, the servant of Yahweh, died there in the land of Moab, at Yahweh’s command. And he buried him in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:5-6). 

“In the book of Deuteronomy, Moses’ gravedigger is God himself,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “Appalled by the idea that God could contaminate himself with the impurity of a corpse — even the corpse of so holy a man as Moses — some Jewish and Christian translators corrected what they perceived to be an error in the text: ‘he buried him’ simply became ‘he was buried’ or ‘they buried him,’ leaving generations of readers to assume that mourning Israelites or weeping angels had performed Moses’ mortuary rites, rather than God himself.”

The horned Middle Eastern ancient god Baal

Baal, one of Yahweh’s biggest rivals in the ancient Middle East

God Gets Horny

It’s an image that wouldn’t sit well with most modern Christians or Jews — especially given its connections to the Devil and demons — but one of the earliest descriptions of God describes him as having horns. “God, who brought [Israel] out of Egypt, has horns like a wild ox!” the prophet Balaam declares in Numbers 23:22. 

“In the Western imagination, a horned being tends to conjure images of the diabolical, and the grotesque. From the man-eating bull-headed Minotaur of Greek myth to the cloven-hooved goat-faced Devil of Christianity, horns have long served as a hallmark of horror,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “But in the world of the very ancient gods, horns were the most prestigious and alluring manifestations of divinity, and most deities would be equipped with them.”

Horns were a sign of power, designating that the gods who sported them “were beings of bullish virility and ferocious strength,” Stavrakopoulou explains. 

Yahweh on fire, breathing flames, as described in Isaiah 30 in the Old Testament

There’s a horrific description of a fiery God — right before he gobbles up a roasted king of Assyria.

The Nose Knows: God’s Wrath and a Kingly BBQ

“The God of the Bible was particularly proud of his nose,” Stavrakopoulou tells us. “In his lengthy monologue on Mount Sinai, he reels off a list of his best qualities, not only describing himself as merciful, gracious and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, but ‘long-nosed,’ too.” 

This is a way of saying he has deep nostrils, she says — meaning slower breathing, and by extension, being patient and slow to anger. 

But once that temper raged, you didn’t want to be anywhere near him. 

In the book of Isaiah, a seer spies Yahweh in the distance, his nose ablaze, “his lips full of fury, his tongue a devouring fire; his breath an overflowing stream, reaching up to the neck!” (Isaiah 30:27-28). 

What’s God up to? Oh, just sacrificing an Assyrian king upon a pyre and feasting on his charred corpse.

The ancient Levantine deity El

The Ancient Almighty: God’s Golden Years 

Our current image of God as a powerful older man comes from a portrayal in Daniel 7:9-10 from the 2nd century BCE. As Stavrakopoulou states, “God himself remains a picture of perpetual purity: Enthroned, in fiery splendor, and surrounded by thousands of divine courtiers, he is called ‘an Ancient of Days,’ dressed in robes ‘white as snow,’ with hair ‘like a lamb’s wool.’”

Again, this iconography is borrowed from neighboring deities, including El, whom Stavrakopoulou describes as Yahweh’s father — before Yahweh was retrofitted as the sole true god. El’s (and Yahweh’s) gray hair and beard were seen as signs of immortality and wisdom. 

Unseen and Unsculpted: The Theological Dance Around God’s Corporality

When thinking about this article, I realized something that shocked me: While I’ve seen a few paintings of God — Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel depiction of God (looking suspiciously like Zeus) reaching out to Adam springs to mind — I couldn’t think of a single sculpture of him.

Part of this is due to the fact that the mentions of God as having a body in the Bible make many Christians uncomfortable. They want the only depiction of God as corporeal to be that of Jesus. 

“Those troublesome verses in the scriptures attesting to God’s body would be smoothed, smothered or superseded by new interpretive frameworks and some fancy philosophical footwork,” Stavrakopoulou writes. “A favorite tactic employed by early Christian theologians was simply to reduce all biblical references to God’s body to the symbolic.” 

Even further back than that, after the Jerusalem Temple had been rebuilt in the 5th century BCE, Yahweh’s worshippers understood all too well the vulnerability and lack of transcendence of a corporeal god. 

It was around this time one of the Ten Commandments became “You shall not make for yourself a carved image.”

Once a vividly described giant, God lost his body. 

God the Father, a painting by Ludovico Mazzolino

Are there few statues of God because one of the Ten Commandments forbids “carved images”?

And therein lies the main controversy around God: An Anatomy. The book has ignited a theological firestorm, dragging Yahweh off his lofty pedestal and into the gritty, grimy realm of human physicality. Some scholars are applauding Stavrakopoulou’s daring approach, while others are reaching for the nearest exorcism manual.

Biblical scholar Joel Edmund Anderson isn’t holding back. On his blog, Resurrecting Orthodoxy, he accuses Stavrakopoulou of having a “tin ear to the literary artistry and nuance of the biblical texts,” arguing that her interpretations are overly literal and lack proper contextual grounding. 

So, even though many Christians believe everything in the Bible to be literal, they prefer to skip over references to God’s form — it’s all too close to those pagan deities. Team Symbolic has won out; no one really talks too much about God’s body nowadays. It seems that the divine anatomy lesson is one lecture most would rather miss. –Wally

Artistic Depictions of the Virgin Mary: The Surprising Origins of Marian Iconography

The enigmatic allure of the Virgin Mary: From divine purity to unsettling symbolism, we explore the captivating myths and enduring appeal of the original Madonna. 

Closeup of the face of a statue of the Virgin Mary with tears

The Virgin Mary takes many guises in art over the centuries, from Queen of Heaven to the Sorrowful Mother whose tears have miraculous properities.

In art, God is often portrayed as an ancient, white-bearded man in flowing robes, a benevolent figure who watches over humanity from on high. Jesus, meanwhile, is typically depicted in various key moments from his life, such as his birth, crucifixion and resurrection. He walks on water and performs other miracles and has his Last Supper. 

But the Virgin Mary is a complex and enigmatic figure who wears many guises. Often cloaked in modesty, she’s seen as a symbol of hope, love and sacrifice. She’s portrayed as the ultimate role model for Christian women, the daughter of God, the bride of her own son and a regal queen. Her story is a richly woven tapestry of myths and symbols, each thread imbued with meanings that have been interpreted in countless ways throughout history.

As we delve into the realm of religious art and symbolism, we find her as a fertility goddess known as the Black Madonna, along with a loving mother whose tears and breast milk have magical healing powers. Amid the varied representations through the centuries, one thing remains certain: Mary’s enduring appeal as a divine figure. 

Mary, Queen of Heaven by the Master of the Saint Lucy Legend, showing the Virgin Mary surrounded by colorful angels

Mary, Queen of Heaven by the Master of the Saint Lucy Legend, circa 1495

Maria Regina: Queen of Heaven

Mary, the paragon of purity, couldn’t be left to rot in the grave like a mere mortal. So, the early Church fathers devised a bold solution: They declared that she had been taken up to Heaven in an event known as the Assumption, where she now reigns as a celestial queen. 

Popes viewed the Virgin Mary as a powerful propaganda tool. With their ties to the Queen of Heaven, they could legitimize their authority on earth and cemented the strong tie between Mary and Catholicism, centered in Rome: “The more the papacy gained control of the city, the more veneration of the mother of the emperor in heaven, by whose right the Church ruled, increased,” explains Marina Warner in her 1976 book Alone of All Her Sex: The Myth and the Cult of the Virgin Mary

The Coronation of the Virgin by Diego Velázquez, showing Mary being crowned in the clouds by Jesus and God, with cherubs below

The Coronation of the Virgin by Diego Velázquez, 1636

John VII was the first pope to have himself painted in prostration at the feet of the Virgin, in the basilica of Santa Maria in Trastevere in Rome. 

Icon of Virgin Mary as Maria Regina, Queen of Heaven, with angels, baby Jesus and Pope John VII prostrating himself from the church of Santa Maria in Trastevere in Rome

Madonna della Clemenza icon from the church of Santa Maria in Trastevere in Rome, 8th century. It’s the first to show a pope, John VII, prostrating himself at her feet (though it’s hard to make out now).

The coronation of Mary was first depicted in the 12th century, from an apse mosaic at Santa Maria to niches of French cathedrals, and became a favorite theme of Christendom. Christ is shown crowning his mother, switching the moment of her triumph from the Incarnation (when she conceived the son of God) to the Assumption (when she was taken up to Heaven). 

Coronation of the Virgin by Fra Angelico, showing people watching Jesus put a crown on the Virgin Mary as they float on a cloud

Coronation of the Virgin by Fra Angelico, 1435

The imagery of a divine queen worked well to legitimize not only popes but royalty and its system of inequality as well. “For by projecting the hierarchy of the world onto heaven, that hierarchy — be it ecclesiastical or lay — appears to be ratified by divinely reflected approval; and the lessons of the Gospel about the poor inheriting the earth are wholly ignored,” Warner writes. 

“It would be difficult to concoct a greater perversion of the Sermon on the Mount [Christ’s ethical code, focusing on compassion, selflessness, etc.] than the sovereignty of Mary and its cult, which has been used over the centuries by different princes to stake out their spheres of influence in the temporal realm,” Warner continues, “to fly a flag for their ambitions like any Maoist poster or political broadcast; and equally difficult to imagine a greater distortion of Christ’s idealism than this identification of the rich and powerful with the good.”

The Coronation of the Virgin With Angels and Four Saints by Neri di Bicci, showing Mary kneeling by Jesus as he crowns her while they're surrounded by angels and holy men

The Coronation of the Virgin With Angels and Four Saints by Neri di Bicci, circa 1470

The Bride of Christ: Incest Is Best?

As shocking as it may seem, the Virgin Mary was, for a while, depicted as the bride of her own son, Jesus. 

How could this have come about? Warner suggests the influence of Middle Eastern mystery religions, which played up males forming unions with females. The Canaanite god Baal coupled with his sister, Anat. In Syria, the shepherd Tammuz became the lover of the sky goddess Ishtar. The Phrygian cult featured Cybele and Attis, who died castrated under a tree. And Egyptian mythology tells the tale of Osiris, the god of the dead, who was chopped into pieces and put back together by his sister-wife, Isis. 


RELATED: A pictorial glossary of the so-called pagan gods of the Old Testament


The nuptials of these divine beings mirrored the joining of earth and sky at the dawn of creation.

Jesus puts his arm around his mother, the Virgin Mary, who is also his bride, with angels around them

You wouldn’t marry your mother, would you — even if she was the Virgin Mary?!

“Thus marriage was the pivotal symbol on which turned the cosmology of most of the religions that pressed on Jewish society, jeopardizing its unique monotheism,” Warner writes. “It is a symptom of their struggle to maintain their distinctiveness that the Jews, while absorbing this pagan symbol, reversed the ranks of the celestial pair to make the bride God’s servant and possession, from whom he ferociously exacts absolute submission.”

From this foundation, Cyprian of Carthage, in the 3rd century, accused virgins who flirted of committing adultery against their true husband, Christ.  

And then, of course, there are nuns, whose consecration ceremony includes getting a ring that designates them as a bride of Christ. Talk about polygamy on a mass scale!

But it wasn’t really until 1153, when Bernard of Clairvaux gave multiple sermons on the Old Testament’s Song of Songs — “that most languorous and amorous of poems,” as Warner calls it. In one of these, Bernard preached, speaking of Christ and the Virgin Mary:

But surely will we not deem much happier those kisses which in blessed greeting she receives today from the mouth of him who sits on the right hand of the Father, when she ascends to the throne of glory, singing a nuptial hymn and saying: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.”

Pagan influences aside, I’m puzzled as to how this incestuous idea ever caught on among Christians.

The Virgin and Child by Dirk Bouts, showing Mary offering her breast to baby Jesus in a medieval room

The Virgin and Child by Dirk Bouts, circa 1465

Maria Lactans: The Milk-Squirting Mary

While Mary was exempt from Eve’s punishment of bearing children in pain, there was one biological function allowed her: breastfeeding. “From her earliest images onwards, the mother of God has been represented as nursing her child,” Warner says. 

The Virgin Mary depicted with squirting breasts?! This is one iconography I’ve got to milk for all its worth.

Where did this idea come from? “The theme of the nursing Virgin, Maria Lactans, probably originated in Egypt, where the goddess Isis had been portrayed suckling the infant Horus for over a thousand years before Christ,” Warner explains. 


RELATED: In the New Testament, Mary wasn’t mentioned as being a virgin. Find out why early Christians insisted upon Mary being pure.


Madonna Nursing the Child (Maria Lactans) by Erasmus Quellinus the Younger, with the Virgin Mary leaning down to offer her exposed breast to a reclining Baby Jesus

Madonna Nursing the Child (Maria Lactans) by Erasmus Quellinus the Younger, circa 1614

Part of this symbolism derives from a mother providing much-needed nourishment: “For milk was a crucial metaphor of the gift of life,” Warner continues. “Without it, a child had little or no chance of survival before the days of baby foods, and its almost miraculous appearance seemed as providential as the conception and birth of the child itself.”

And, not surprisingly, Mary’s milk was miraculous. A favorite medieval tale, including a version in French by Gautier de Coincy, tells how a faithful monk was dying of a putrid mouth filled with ulcers. He reproached the Madonna for neglecting him, and chastened, she appears at his bedside: 

With much sweetness and much delight,
From her sweet bosom she drew forth her breast, 
That is so sweet, so soft, so beautiful,
And placed it in his mouth, 
Gently touched him all about,
And sprinkled him with her sweet milk.

As Warner writes, “Needless to say, the monk was rendered whole again.”

The Virgin Mary holds baby Jesus on her lap while she squirts milk from her breast into St. Bernard's mouth in an illuminated manuscript

According to a 14th century legend, Saint Bernard prayed before a statue of Mary. It came to life, and the Virgin placed her breast in Bernard’s mouth, nursing him as she did the baby Jesus.

The Madonna’s miracle milk became a nearly ubiquitous relic in Europe. “From the thirteenth century, phials in which her milk was preserved were venerated all over Christendom in shrines that attracted pilgrims by the thousands. Walsingham, Chartres, Genoa, Rome, Venice, Avignon, Padua, Aix-en-Provence, Toulon, Paris, Naples, all possessed the precious and efficacious substance,” Warner says.

John Calvin, the church reformer, had a scathing opinion about these claims. “There is no town so small, nor convent … so mean that it does not display some of the Virgin’s milk,” he wrote in his Treatise on Relics. “There is so much that if the holy Virgin had been a cow, or a wet nurse all her life she would have been hard put to it to yield such a great quantity.”

The idea of a breastfeeding mother of God waned in the Renaissance, when high-born women found it indecent to do the job themselves and outsourced the task to wetnurses. Plus, it was deemed indecorous to depict Mary with her breast exposed with the increasing idea that a woman’s body was shameful. Mary, with the Immaculate Conception, was born without original sin and therefore avoided Eve’s curse — and by the 16th century, that included being exempt from suckling the Christ child.

Madonna in Sorrow by Juan de Juni, a colorful statue of the Virgin Mary leaning back on her knees, clutching her breast and looking heavenward, with a silver nimbus around her head

Madonna in Sorrow by Juan de Juni, 1571

Mater Dolorosa: The Sorrowful Mother

The caregiving image of Mary gave way to a mother mourning her dead son, what’s known as the Mater Dolorosa. The cult began in the 11th century, reaching full fruition in the 14th century in Italy, France, England, the Netherlands and Spain. The culmination of this iconography? Michelangelo’s La Pietà.

La Pietà by Michelangelo, the famous statue of Mary holding the dead body of Christ

La Pietà by Michelangelo, 1499

Again, we have Ancient Egypt, and the surrounding region’s myths, to thank for this representation. The Egyptian goddess Isis sorrowfully wandered the land, collecting the pieces of her dismembered brother-husband, Osiris. When she finds his coffin, she caresses Osiris’ face and weeps. 

And she’s not the only weeping woman of the ancient Middle East. Dumuzi, the shepherd and “true son” of Sumerian myth, was sacrificed to the underworld, tortured by demons (much like Christ later, during his Passion and descent into Hell). The goddess Inanna, the Queen of Heaven, weeps for him.

It seems likely that Christians picked up this iconography — spurred on by the horrors of the Black Death, when the bubonic plague swept the continent, wiping out one-fifth of the entire population. “It aroused penitential fever in a way never seen before, and gave the image of the Mater Dolorosa weighty contemporary significance,” Warner points out. 

Madonna in Sorrow by Titian, a painting showing the Virgin Mary crying, her hands up, palms facing each other

Madonna in Sorrow by Titian, 1554

Once again, Mary’s bodily fluids have healing properties. “The tears she sheds are charged with the magic of her precious, incorruptible, undying body and have the power to give life and make whole,” Warner explains. 

This cult has lasted to the present day. Many of us have heard stories of statues of the Virgin that miraculously weep. 

“Contemporary prudishness has tabooed the Virgin’s milk, but her tears have still escaped the category of forbidden symbols, and are collected as one of the most efficacious and holy relics of Christendom,” Warner says. “They course down her cheeks as a symbol of the purifying sacrifice of the Cross, which washes sinners of all stain and gives them new life, just as the tears of Inanna over Dumuzi fell on the parched Sumerian soil and quickened it into flower.” 

The Virgin of Greater Pain and Transfer of Great Power closeup of the Virgin's face with lace headdress and tears, on a statue from Spain

The Virgin of Greater Pain and Transfer of Great Power



The Black Madonna of Monserrat, a statue of the Virgin Mary and Jesus with dark skin and gold robes and crowns, with Mary holding an orb

The Black Madonna of Monserrat

The Black Madonna: Our Lady of Montserrat

Most Western depictions of Mary present her skin as lily-white, untouched by corruption, despite the fact that she is undeniably Middle Eastern. So it’s all the more surprising to see the emergence of the Black Madonna, a dark-skinned version that became popular among the medieval Benedictine monks in Montserrat, Spain. 

The monks saw the lushness of their mountain as a mirror of Mary. As such, her icon took on aspects of a fertility goddess. 

But in a bizarre twist (or perhaps not, given that Mary was a Jew from Judea), the Virgin had dark skin, which led to her being known as the Black Madonna. In fact, she’s known locally as La Moreneta, the Little Dark One. The depiction spread to other places of worship, among them Chartres, Orléans, Rome and Poland. 

The Black Madonna of Częstochowa, Poland, with baby Jesus

The Black Madonna of Częstochowa, Poland

“The Church often explains their blackness in allegorical terms from the Song of Songs: ‘I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem’ (Song of Solomon 1:5),” Warner writes. “[B]ut another theory about their color is even more prosaic: that the smoke of votive candles for centuries has blackened the wood or the pigment, and when artists restored the images, they repainted the robes and jewels that clothe the Madonna and Child but out of awe left their faces black.”

The shrine at Montserrat is one of the longest continuous cults of Mary, especially popular with newly married couples. Here she has dominion over marriage, sex, pregnancy and childbirth — odd for a virgin but not for a fertility goddess. 

The Black Madonna at St. Mary’s Church in Gdansk, Poland

The Black Madonna at St. Mary’s Church in Gdansk, Poland

A gruesome legend illustrates Mary’s power. A woman gives birth to a lump of dead flesh. But when she prays to Our Lady of Montserrat, it begins to move and is transformed into a beautiful baby boy. 

Madonna della Misericordia by Benedetto Bonfigli, showing the Virgin spreading her cloak to protect masses of people, while holy figures surround her, including weapon-wielding angels

Madonna della Misericordia by Benedetto Bonfigli, circa 1470

Madonna della Misericordia: Our Lady of Mercy

In a merging of her roles as mother and queen, a new depiction of Mary emerged in Umbria, Italy at the end of the 13th century. The Virgin was given a massive cloak which she wrapped over the poor souls gathered at her feet. Towering over them and offering protection, this was the Madonna della Misericordia, Our Lady of Mercy. 

Madonna of Mercy by Sano di Pietro, showing the Virgin Mary towering above a group of praying nuns as she envelops them with her green-lined robe

Madonna of Mercy by Sano di Pietro, circa 1440s

After the desolation of the Black Death in the late 1340s, this iconography of Mary became the most popular. Monks and laypeople alike would pray to this aspect of the Virgin, asking her to keep them safe from harm. 

The Virgin of the Caves by Francisco de Zurbarán showing the Virgin Mary in a red dress touching the heads of two kneeling monks from a group covered by her blue cloak, held up by cherubs

The Virgin of the Caves by Francisco de Zurbarán, circa 1655

This Mary is often preternaturally large — and her son, Christ, isn’t anywhere to be found, “suggesting that her mercy, directly given, could save sinners,” Warner writes. But that cuts God and Jesus out of the equation and makes the Virgin a goddess in her own right. 

So while Our Lady of Mercy spread throughout Europe in the 14th and 15th centuries, it was officially declared heterodox (not in accordance with the accepted Catholic doctrine) and banned by the Council of Trent in the mid-1500s.

Dormition of the Virgin fresco by Frangos Katelanos, showing the Virgin Mary dead with Jesus and other holy figures around her

Dormition of the Virgin fresco by Frangos Katelanos, 1548

Divine Dominion Over Death 

The Virgin Mary has worn many guises over the years, from a gentle breastfeeding mother to imperial queen to tutelary goddess. 

“If travelers from another planet were to enter churches, as far flung as the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., or the Catholic cathedral in Saigon, or the rococo phantasmagoria of New World churches, and see the Virgin’s image on the altar, it would be exceedingly difficult for them to understand that she was only an intercessor and not a divinity in her own right,” Warner points out. 

There are surely many factors that have led to Mary’s enduring appeal, starting with her co-opting of ancient mythology like the Egyptian goddess Isis. Many cultures find it fitting to worship the female spirit — something glaringly missing in the often-misogynistic views of Christianity. 

Detail from Assumption of Mary by Peter Paul Rubens showing the Virgin Mary in red dress and blue cloak flying up to Heaven surrounded by cherubs

Detail from Assumption of Mary by Peter Paul Rubens, circa 1617

But Warner has a theory: “For although the Virgin is a healer, a midwife, a peacemaker, the protectress of virgins, and the patroness of monks and nuns in this world; although her polymorphous myth has myriad uses and functions for the living, it is the jurisdiction over her death accorded her in popular belief that gives her such widespread supremacy.”

She could be on to something. Think of the final words of the Hail Mary, the best-loved prayer in Catholicism: “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.” –Wally

Twisted Tours at Trundle Manor in Pittsburgh

This roadside oddity is a neighborhood haunt worthy of a detour. A fun combination of the weird and the macabre, the home includes a secret passage, a tumor that serenades visitors and plenty of other strange delights. 

Trundle Manor with yellow-eyed, fanged alien creature out front

The approach to Trundle Manor has a Bates family home feel to it — and then there’s the scary alien monster and the barrel of nuclear waste.

While Wally and I were looking for things to do in Pittsburgh, he stumbled upon Trundle Manor, a house of oddities and a museum of the bizarre. The quirky roadside attraction has been a fixture of the quiet residential neighborhood of Swissvale since 2009.

Intrigued, Wally sent an email to the proprietors and received a reply from the mysteriously named Mr. ARM, who asked when we’d like to stop by for a tour. “With a name like that we have to go,” Wally said, and decided then and there to schedule our visit.

Purple alien with giant eyes and four legs by silver truck in front yard of Trundle Manor in Pittsburgh

One of the cute friends you’ll meet in the front yard

My parents, who we were traveling with, are up for anything. So we decided to throw caution to the wind and tell them we had a surprise for them. I asked my dad to set the GPS to 7724 Juniata Street. As we pulled up to the curb, we saw a colorful hand-painted sign at street level that read, “Trundle Manor,” beckoning visitors in (or warning them off). 

Not far from the sign was a yellow barrel stenciled with a hazardous waste symbol oozing green goo. When we looked up, we saw a two-story Victorian manor sitting atop a steep hill. The brick house looked a bit ominous, not unlike the Bates family house in Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Psycho.

Woman acting shocked under old-fashion salon hair dryer

Mima has a hair-raising and electrifying experience on the front porch.

Small piano, sign reading, "Happy Halloween From Trundle Manor," bust of Dracula, taxidermied heads and other items on front porch of roadside oddity Trundle Manor

The manor got its name from one of the couple’s epic Halloween parties. They invented the fictitious Trundle Graves Funeral Home and Taxidermy Service as part of the party’s theme, and the name stuck.

Man in sunglasses hugging the neck of a Nessie Loch Ness Monster ride by mailbox in front of Trundle Manor

Wally takes a ride on the Loch Ness Monster.

My mom and dad exchanged looks, but they didn’t say anything. They’re used to our strange sensibilities. We got out of the car and walked up the steps leading to the front door. I rang the doorbell, and a moment later, the door was opened by our hostess, Velda von Minx. From the moment we saw her, Wally and I knew she was a kindred spirit. 

Velda von Minx in black dress amid the oddity-stuffed Trundle Manor in Pittsburgh

Our charming hostess, Velda von Minx, spun a nonstop tapestry of twisted tales.

Velda had blunt bangs, long wavy blonde hair, smoky eyes and an infectious laugh. She explained to us that her name is a sort of mashup of Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of author F. Scott Fitzgerald, and B-list actresses. It works. 

Her husband’s moniker, Mr. ARM, is an acronym using his initials. Sadly, he was indisposed. He had stayed up late the previous night and was sleeping during our visit. (Outside the manor, the couple are otherwise known as Rachel Rose Rech and Anton Raphael Miriello.)

The oddity-packed dining room at Trundle Manor in Pittsburgh

This is what you can expect at Trundle Manor — strange and creepy items everywhere you look.

Here Comes Trundle

We were ushered into Trundle Manor and followed Velda into the dining room, which was decorated in a Victorian style, while muddled old-timey music crackled in the background.

Mima: We thought the taxidermied bird outside was telling us to go home. 

“Oh no!” Velda exclaimed. “But I’m glad you’re here. Welcome to Trundle Manor, our personal collection of weird and dead stuff.”

We looked around. The room was packed with oddities. 

Taxidermied bear with cymbals and cat in its arms in the oddity-filled Trundle Manor dining room

Most of the taxidermied creatures at Trundle Manor have some sort of whimsical elements, like this bear, with his cymbals and marching band hat.

“About 15 years ago, we decided to open our house to the public and show off our collection,” Velda continued. “Anton grew up as a weird little kid, always bringing home dead things. His parents are both artists, and they encouraged him and would take him to flea markets, where they collected antiques and Art Deco pieces. He would always find something else to add to his collection.”

“Are you still collecting?” Mima asked. 

“Always! It’s hard to stop!” Velda chuckled. “People bring us things all the time, which is nice. It’s like our own personal museum drop-off. If they know you as someone who collects unusual things, they’ll often bring you items that they’ve inherited or that make them uncomfortable. I guess it’s a way for them to get rid of something that they don’t want, but also know that it’ll be appreciated by someone who loves weird stuff. We say it’s great to know people in different professions. Especially if you have friends in the funeral home industry, medical industry, veterinary technicians, people who clean out houses or even theater people — you’ll likely find that they have all sorts of cool things that they’re willing to part with.”

A small glass jar with something ashen inside and the name “H.H. Holmes” written on it, caught my eye. I asked Velda if they were the ashes of H.H. Holmes, the notorious serial killer at the center of Erik Larson’s brilliant book The Devil in the White City.

“It’s grave dirt,” she said with a smile. “From our favorite serial killer — if one needs a favorite serial killer. He was hanged at Moyamensing Prison in South Philadelphia in 1896 and buried in Holy Cross Cemetery in Yeadon, Pennsylvania, but his grave is unmarked. A local historian friend of ours got us some of the dirt from his grave.

“We also have grave dirt from some other famous people,” Velda added. “Like Rod Serling, Patsy Cline and Edgar Allan Poe. On the wall behind you is a jar of Bela Lugosi’s grave dirt. If it’s Dracula-related, we must have some of the earth he was buried in.”

I asked if the three bronze faces on the wall were of Lugosi. 

“They’re actually of Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi and Vincent Price.” Velda replied. “We have Vincent Price’s autograph. My grandmother met him in Dayton, Ohio in 1972 during a summer production of Oliver! We also got to meet John Astin, the actor who played the original Gomez Addams, on The Addams Family,” she added.

Astin is an idol of Miriello’s, and the couple met him about 10 or 11 years ago when they drove out to Baltimore and pretended to be acting students at Johns Hopkins University, where  Astin was a director of the theater arts until his retirement in 2021.

Four people are visibly scared sitting in the parlor of Trundle Manor in Pittsburgh

Papa, Mima, Duke and Wally are only pretending to be scared. They loved their visit to this kooky home.

Velda eyed Wally’s iPhone with the chubby cat on the back. “I love your case,” she said. “Who’s the cat?”

“That’s our cat, Bowzer,” I replied. “He’s a bit of a chubster, but he’s a sweetheart.”

“Our cat was 25 pounds,” Velda said. “He was the ring bearer at our wedding. We had to weld together a little circus cage to carry him, because you can’t train a cat to walk down the aisle. We gently escorted him down the aisle, and he did a great job.

Wally laughed. “That sounds like a memorable wedding,” he said. “So, are you Mrs. ARM now?”

Velda smiled. “I guess so,” she said. “I always go by Velda von Minx, but of course I’ll take Mrs. ARM! We had a very unique wedding. We got married at the Braddock Carnegie Library, which was the first Carnegie Library in America. There’s a big Victorian-era music hall attached. We wanted a party wedding, so we had 12 bands, five belly dancers, a gourmet waffle buffet and an all-day open bar with an absinthe fountain. It was like a 14-hour event. That’s my wedding gown in the tall case.”

“Did you say an absinthe fountain? With real wormwood?" Papa asked.

“Not enough to make you hallucinate — but enough to make you good and drunk!” Velda chuckled. 

Wedding poster for the owners of Trundle Manor, Mr. ARM and Velda von Minx with the couple in the center, surrounded by taxidermied heads, dynamite, a bear trap and octopus tentacles

The couple’s wedding was an epic event, featuring multiple bands, a belly dancer and an absinthe fountain.

“And here we have our collection of medical oddities," she continued, gesturing to a nearby table. “Embalming equipment, vintage syringes, anal speculums, trepanation tools and a whole platter of gynecological tools that came in a box with a handwritten note that said, ‘Sorry, ladies.’ We had to have that.

Pile of metal old-school gynecological tools, anal speculums and trepanation devices amid taxidermied hybrid creatures and other oddities at Trundle Manor

Sorry, ladies! This tray holds a frightening mix of old-school medical devices once used for gynecological checkups, anal probes and trepanation.

“When we visit antique shops, we make it our mission to find the most upsetting things to buy. Like this embalming machine, used to pump fluid into a cadaver by a mortician. It would take a lot of cleaning, but I could totally see it as a margarita machine.

“Or this dental X-ray machine from the 1920s. It was used in a dentist’s office in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, up until the 1990s. There’s a sticker inside that says, ‘CAUTION: Radiation When…’ but the rest of the text has fallen off. Needless to say, we’re not going to plug it in.

“All of our taxidermy is real. We don’t  hunt or kill anything ourselves. We prefer the very old, kind of hungover-looking ones.”

“I love that one!” I said, pointing to a taxidermied fox sitting atop a cabinet wearing a tiny tiara and a pink ribbon.

“The Princess Fox?” Velda asked. “That’s our oldest, from the 1890s. And this is one of our creations: a werewolf-mermaid, or mer-wolf. The top half is our friend’s Rottweiler that died of natural causes and was donated to us. The bottom half is a carp. There are mahi-mahi fins and glass eyes from a blind human.”

A bunch of taxidermied specimens, including a fox in a cap and another wearing a pink ribbon around its neck and a tiara

Princess Fox, to the right in a tiara, is the couple’s oldest specimen, dating to the 1890s.

Velda directed our attention to a pair of hybrid creatures.

"This is also one of ours,” she said. “These fighting catfish are part cat and part fish, and they’re always fighting. We’re not expert taxidermists. We just have a glass of absinthe and see what happens. We’re influenced by gaffs, which are fake creatures pieced together from real animals. Think P.T. Barnum’s traveling sideshow stuff and the FeeJee Mermaid.”

She regaled us with a great story about one of her and Miriello’s adventures:

“One time, we saw what we thought was a cat that had been hit by a car on the main road. We felt really bad, so we pulled over to see if we could help. It turned out that it was actually a skunk. We had a kill kit in the back of our car, a briefcase with a cleaver and a bunch of Ziploc bags. I was wearing an evening gown, as I often do, squatting and holding open a bag, while Anton chopped off its head with the cleaver. We looked across the street and saw a little 10-year-old boy watching us. We were like, ‘Oh, sorry.’”

Wally asked, “What did you do with that skunk head?”

Velda replied with one eyebrow arched, “It’s sitting on a shelf somewhere in that cabinet.”

Wally asked Velda if she could share any stories of paranormal activity or spooky experiences involving their house.

“Technically, our house should be haunted,” Velda said. “The previous owner, Charlie, committed suicide in 2006, and we’re the first people to live here since. We learned from our neighbors that he didn’t have many people in his life, was a member of Mensa, and a bit of a hoarder. So, we like to think that he’s living vicariously through us.”

Velda continued. “Everyone who comes here is good-natured, whether they’re a friend, family member or guest at one of our parties. There’s always positive energy, and we get to see people’s best days. We like to think that we’re providing him with entertainment, if nothing else. When we go out of town, we ask Charlie to look after the house.”

Wally asked what the rest of the house was like beyond the museum. Velda replied, “There’s a total of four rooms that are open to the public. The upstairs is where we live, and it's more retro rockabilly. There’s a pinball machine, our Lego collection and a ’50s diner booth.”

She continued, “I should also mention that our most priceless item in this room is a tiger pelt from Indonesia. It was donated to us by a man who was cleaning out his mother’s home after she passed away. He told us that the pelt came from a small village in Indonesia where his father was born. Sometime in the 1950s, a young Sumatran tiger was spotted lurking near a densely populated residential area. Concerned that the tiger might attack or kill their children, the father shot it and had its pelt made into a rug.”

Sumatran tiger rug over cabinet holding the wedding dress worn by Velda von Minx, co-proprietor of Trundle Manor in Pittsburgh

A Sumatran tiger that was killed in the 1950s and made into a rug was donated to Trundle Manor, and became their most priceless part of the collection.

So how did Trundle Manor come to be?

“What started out as a party space for friends and family, photo shoots, art shows, movie screenings and burlesque shows has turned into a roadside attraction. We now do about a dozen tours a week.”

Steampunk contraption to hold belly dancer's tumor at Trundle Manor

Behold! Olivia’s Singing Tumor! One of the stars of the collection, this tumor came from their belly dancing friend, who still pops by to visit her erstwhile body part.

The Singing Tumor and Counterfeit Cash

Velda guided us out of the dining room and into the vestibule. 

“In our entryway, we have a human reliquary altar.” Typically, a reliquary is a container for religious relics that include the remains of saints, such as bones or pieces of clothing. “Ours contain parts of people that they’re no longer using anymore,” our charming tour guide continued. “We have my husband’s first mustache, in case his face melts off and I need to bandage him up and glue it back on. We also have a jar with a red lid that contains most of what’s left of a human brain. It was a wedding gift from our tattoo artist friend who received it as payment from a medical waste employee instead of cash. The original jar got thrown at him and shattered against a wall and is the reason why it’s incomplete. We also have a jar with a couple of months’ worth of skin flakes from our friend with psoriasis.”

Prosthetics, statue arm holding a torch, image of Jesus on the cross and other oddities in the entryway at Trundle Manor

A collection of prosthetic legs, lost to injury or illness, came from a friend who works at a retirement home. One from the 1940s has toes carved into the wooden foot.

Mima picked up some bills. “What’s this?” she asked. 

“We make our own money,” Velda explained, “because we loved the idea of having drawers full of cash like the Addams Family. We’re not rich, but we do have our own currency. I’m on the $3 bill, Mr. ARM is on the $13 bill, and our beloved cat, Little Devil, is on the $666 bill.”

Velda removed the covering from an object with a flourish to reveal the crown jewel of their collection. Floating within a custom-made steampunk brass and glass vessel (built by Mr. ARM) was a fist-sized mass. It wouldn’t look out of place among the contraptions of Captain Nemo’s submarine the Nautilus. This curiosity is Olivia’s Singing Tumor, bequeathed to them by their belly dancing friend, who still performs around Pittsburgh.

“This was a benign tumor on her uterus about 15 years ago,” Velda told us. “Hospitals typically don’t allow patients to keep surgical specimens, but Olivia was persistent, and they were able to freeze the tumor and give it to her in a Tupperware container.”

The assemblage sits upon an oak phonograph pedestal, complete with a pair of metal horns to amplify its “singing” — a song whose chorus Velda informed us is, appropriately, “I want my mommy.” Olivia occasionally comes to visit her tumor, Velda added. 

Also occupying the space is a bug-eyed, mustachioed 4-foot-tall animatronic Santa Claus wearing wire-rimmed glasses. It’s been remade into a likeness of Mr. ARM. It stands silently in the entryway. “We tinkered with it and re-recorded its voice to announce the collection,” Velda said. “But it malfunctioned after it got rained on and started singing ‘Jingle Bells’ in a rather demonic voice.”

Red walled parlor at Trundle Manor with portrait of a cat, moose head, chandelier and other strange items at Trundle Manor

The parlor at Trundle Manor has a bit more room — but don’t worry: It’s still stuffed to the gills with weird shit.

The Freeze-Dried Cat and a Gremlin Named Nigel in the Parlor

The four of us exited the entryway and followed Velda into the parlor, the largest of the rooms at Trundle Manor. 

“We can accommodate 12 to 15 people when we screen movies, which we do about once a month,” she told us. There’s a pull-down screen and a projector mounted to the ceiling. A couple of Velda’s favorites flicks include pre-code Hollywood horror movies such as Frankenstein (1931) and Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933). 

A portrait of Velda von Minx and Mr. ARM in the style of holy icons holds a pride of place on one of the walls. When I asked Velda about it, she told us that Anton’s parents are both artists who specialize in saint iconography painting.

“They’re not religious people,” Velda said. “But they’ve been painting saint icons since the 1970s. His dad paints the bodies and backgrounds, while his mom does the faces and hands.”

Velda added that the portrait was a wedding gift from her in-laws.

Velda von Minx and Mr. ARM painted as saint icons by crossed scythes and other items on the red walls at Trundle Manor

The painting of the couple was religious icons was done by Mr. ARM’s parents as a wedding gift.

I don’t think any of us were prepared for what Velda told us next about their dearly departed black cat, Little Devil. “We had him freeze-dried and preserved, and  placed him in a special glass box with a lid that unlocks so we can still reach in and pet him. We bought him a tiny top hat at the oldest hat shop in the world in London, where the royal family has had custom hats made for over 300 years. I’m surprised they let us through the front door!”

Freeze-dried black cat in top hat inside glass case in the parlor at Trundle Manor

This handsome fellow is Little Devil, the couple’s cat, which has been freeze-dried. Gulp.

The fantastical throne in the parlor is a collaboration between Mr. ARM and his friend The Admiral. It’s their interpretation of the Eldritch Seat of R’lyeh and is an homage to H.P. Lovecraft’s octopus-èsque monster Cthulhu. The back piece was first sculpted in clay and then cast in plastic and treated to look like wood.

“We also built a birdcage with a miniature replica of the parlor inside,” Velda continues. Amazingly, she hadn’t run out of stories yet. “For a time, we thought we might have a gremlin, as we kept losing things in the house, only to find them again in places that neither of us had left them.

“So Mr. ARM and I decided to give our gremlin a place to hang out that we knew he would appreciate. We filled the decoy with real tiny dead specimens, a reading lamp, miniature Poe and Lovecraft books, custom leather furniture, a coffin to sleep in and my personal favorite: a fully stocked bar with bottles of absinthe, moonshine and an 18-year-old scotch. We named him Nigel, and if he is real, he’s living it up!”

Birdcage filled with miniature furniture, paintings, etc. at Trundle Manor

One of the birdcages has a miniature setup of the room to keep the home’s gremlin, Nigel, so contented he won’t get up to mischief.

Wally noticed a birdcage themed like the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks and asked about it.  

“We adore Twin Peaks,” Velda said, scoring even more points with Wally. “That’s how we spent most of the pandemic, in the parlor watching David Lynch on repeat. There’s even a little cherry pie and miniature cup of coffee. Although I still need to finish making the curtains!”

Pointing to the wall, Velda said, “The moose is our biggest friend. We purchased him at an antique shop in central Pennsylvania. When we brought him home, we didn’t realize that he wouldn’t fit through the front door. We had to saw off his left antler in order to get him inside and reattached it upside down, because that’s how Pierre, the stuffed moose head in The Addams Family, had his antlers.

“Over in the corner,” Velda gestures, “and sitting atop a table near Little Devil is a fawn with a blonde wig that we call the Nudie Cutie. I don’t know why a taxidermist would have wanted a baby deer to look like a sexy pinup girl, but they did. I made her a bikini, and added false eyelashes and a wig.

“The big guy in the corner with the wooden leg and the ribs was something that my husband made when he was 15. His parents told him that he couldn’t have a dog, so he built one. It’s got the head of an alligator, deer bones and chicken wire. He would take it outside and drag it down the road on a leash.”

Strange creature made of animal skulls, bones and tail and chicken wire on display at Trundle Manor

This creepy creature was Anton’s first creation, when he started playing Doctor Frankenstein at the age of 15.

In the barrister bookcase are two mummified cats. “Our neighbor found one under his porch and thought it would be a great gift for his wife, but when he gave it to her, she was horrified. The other one came from our friend who makes movie props. She found it when she was cleaning out her warehouse. She also gave us a dental chair from the 1930s and a perm machine from the 1920s. We call the perm machine our ‘feminine electric chair.’ The metal clips would attach to wet hair, and electricity would flow through its wires to cook it into being curly. The machine says: 115 volts/15 amps. One amp could electrocute a person.

Velda von Minx by one of her husband's vamped-up cars like something out of Tarantino's Death Proof

Velda saw Mr. ARM tooling around town in his hot rods, stalked him on social and got herself invited over. It was love at first taxidermy lesson.

“My other favorite thing in the parlor is the two squirrels getting married,” Velda said with a smile. “They’re part of our love story.” 

For years Anton was part of the Drifters Car Club of Pittsburgh, a vintage motorsport club. “I would see him around town with his hot rods and sort of started stalking him on social media. And that’s how we met because I got myself invited over. That first night he said, ‘I’ve got a freezer full of dead squirrels. Do you want to learn taxidermy in my basement?’ To which I replied, ‘Of course!’”

Talk about a meet-cute! 

Wooden covers with bars and locks that cover the cabinets in the kitchen at Trundle Manor

Nothing is as it seems in the Trundle Manor kitchen. Every cabinet opens to reveal a surprising mad scientist take on kitchen appliances.

That’s the Kitchen?!

Our final stop was the laboratory/gift shop/kitchen. The entrance is hidden behind a moveable display case in the dining room. It has all the typical appliances — they’re just concealed by panels, doors, buttons, switches, wheels and blinking lights that transform the room into a mad scientist’s laboratory. There’s even a device with an electric current that Mr. ARM uses to light cigars. 

Old-fashioned tourism postcard that reads, Greetings from Trundle Manor, a World of Death!

Wish you were here?

Home, Strange Home

To some, Trundle Manor may seem a little disquieting and strange. But to its owners, Mr. ARM and Velda von Minx, it’s a labor of love. Their strange and wonderful collection fills every nook and cranny of the downstairs of their circa-1910 home.

Velda was kind, playful and genuine. Tours take about 45 minutes and are by appointment only. Velda von Minx and Mr. ARM accept donations of cash, booze or oddities in exchange for guided tours. 

If you’re planning a trip to Pittsburgh and are fans of oddities, as we are, it’s well worth making a reservation for a jaunt to this fascinating home. You’ll come away with numerous stories that begin, “You won’t believe this…” Obviously, Wally and I loved it, and my parents did, too. –Duke

Sign for Trundle Manor by flowering bush in the Swissvale neighborhood of Pittsburgh

Trundle Manor’s tagline is: The most unusual tourist trap in the world meets the most bizarre private collection on public display!

And we gotta say, that about sums it up.

Trundle Manor 

7724 Juniata Street 
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15218
USA

 

Standards of Beauty (and Ugliness) in African Art

From scarification to the ideal male and female, discover what Westerners get wrong about how Sub-Saharan sculptures and other works of art are viewed in their own cultures. 

A ritual dance by grass huts in Africa featuring a dancer wearing a large baga nimba or d'mba headress and grass skirt

A ritual dance in Guinea, Africa features a Baga nimba or d’mba headdress, seen in the upper right corner, which represents the ideal fertile woman.

Westerners have collected African art for centuries. But do they really understand it? Who determines what is beautiful and what is ugly in African art? Can viewers judge art solely by the standards of beauty in their own culture?

That’s the question a recent exhibit at the Art Institute of Chicago sought to answer. The collection was massive, taking up six or so rooms, filled with over 250 works of art from dozens of cultures across Sub-Saharan Africa. 

The idea is to put art in its cultural context. How did the local communities view these works of art? And how were they used? 

For some African cultures, scarification, including on the face, is a way to enhance someone’s beauty — especially that of a woman.

There’s often a religious aspect to these works. “So the art is not made just to be art,” says Constantine Petridis, chair and curator of arts of Africa at the Art Institute. “It’s art that serves a purpose, serves a function and has a meaning. And that contributes in a very deep and integral way to the survival and the wellbeing of both individuals and societies.” 

Much of this art is literally thought to save lives: It guards ancestors’ remains or fends off evil spirits. 

A Mangbetu woman in the DRC in 1913 with a hairstyle called a halo with ivory pins and a beaded necklace

A Mangbetu woman in 1913 wearing a halo hairstyle with ivory pins, popular in the Democratic Republic of the Congo

African Art Viewed Through an African Lens

It’s time we reevaluated standards of beauty — and understood that what’s attractive or powerful to a Western audience could be very different than that of a Sub-Saharan group. 

“The hope is also to erase prejudices and preconceived notions that have, for a very long time, prevented people from appreciating this art,” Petridis says.

Let’s take a look at some of the commonalities found throughout African art — and see that beauty is more than skin deep.

Male guardian reliquary figures made of wood with child faces, muscular bodies and extended belly buttons at the Art Institute of Chicago

Male guardian reliquary figures with the heads of children but muscular bodies of adults. Teeth have been sealed behind the eyes to help the statues act as intermediaries with ancestors.

Masculinity is depicted with youthful, muscular bodies and large hands and feet. 

In many African cultures, the ideal male figure is tall and lean, with long limbs, an elongated neck and muscular calves. Why? These physical attributes are deemed necessary to transport heavy loads on the head and to work hard in the fields.

“A youthful appearance in general connotes fertility and also good health and the capability of doing hard work,” Petridis says. 

Large hands and feet are seen as representing the energy and endurance needed on a hunting expedition. 

Wood figure of Chibinda Ilunga, a mythic hero of the Chokwe people in Africa

A statue of the Chokwe mythological hero Chibinda Ilunga, a legendary hunter, made in Angola in 1850

These physical characteristics are often depicted in African sculpture to emphasize physical prowess — essential in a society where men are responsible for hunting, farming and other demanding activities.

A ndop wood carving of King Mishe miShyaang maMbul with a large head and drum with hand motif

A ndop portrait figure of King Mishe miShyaang maMbul, made about 1770 in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The oversized head symbolizes intelligence.

Works of art depicting male beauty aren’t just for aesthetic appreciation, though; they serve a vital purpose.

“All of these attributes represent or express political and religious authority, and as such, these objects would have been placed on an altar to serve to fight physical as well as metaphysical threats,” Petridis adds. 

A wooden figurine of the Ancient Mother, Kaatyeleo, of Africa, with long narrow breasts with a child suckling from them

A depiction of Kaatyeleo, the Ancient Mother, who nurses babies with the milk of knowledge and evokes authoritative power

The feminine ideal is voluptuous — big belly, rounded hips, a large butt — and sometimes sports a long neck.

The ideal female figure has been a subject of fascination and inspiration for artists throughout history, and African art is no exception. In African sculpture, the ideal female figure is often depicted as having a curvaceous body with wide hips and full breasts. These features are seen as symbols of fertility, femininity and maternal strength.

Rough wood carving of a queen from Cameroon, with short hair, a suckling baby, and extended stomach

A portrait of a queen, the wife of King Njike, from early 20th century Cameroon. It once stood in front of the royal palace.

While the exact proportions of the ideal female figure vary between African cultures, there are some common elements frequently seen across the continent. For example, in West Africa, the ideal female figure is often portrayed with a prominent belly and rounded buttocks, while in East Africa, the focus is more on the breasts and elongated neck.

The curvaceous figure of the ideal woman is seen as a reflection of her role as a caretaker and nurturer, responsible for raising healthy children and maintaining a strong family.

Ikam crest mask from Nigeria of girl's head with large hair spirals

An ikam crest mask from Nigeria depicts the fantastical hairstyles girls had created for their initiation into womanhood. Incidentally, these “beautiful maiden” masks were worn by men.

Female figures are frequently depicted with intricate hairstyles and elaborate jewelry, which are seen as a reflection of high status and beauty.

A mwana pwo or pwo mask from Angola showing a woman's face with scarification and woven hair

A mwana pwo or pwo mask from Angola is more realistic than other depictions of beauty in African art. It features elements a Westerner wouldn’t consider attractive, including extensive scarification and chipped teeth.

Scarification is considered beautiful. 

This particular aspect of beauty is probably the most difficult for Westerners to grasp. (Then again, look at our obsession with tattoos.) Scarification, a form of body modification that involves creating designs or patterns on skin by cutting or branding, has been practiced for centuries.

Blue wood figure of a royal wife from Nigeria with blue skin, large breasts, headdress and small attendant

Originally used as a post on a veranda in Nigeria, this carving is of a senior royal wife was created by a famous artist, Olówé of Ise. The scarification indicates her high status.

For some African cultures, scarification, including on the face, is a way to enhance someone’s beauty — especially that of a woman. 

Rattle shaped like Ogo Esu, god of the marketplace in Nigeria, with a phallic headpiece and a body covered in trailing cowrie shells

Ogo Esu, god of the marketplace, the only orisha, or deity, consistently represented in human form. In Nigeria, his followers would dance with a staff like this, which has a phallic headpiece and cowrie shells associated with wealth.

Morality is synonymous with beauty.

In many African cultures, the concept of beauty is closely tied to morality and ethics. This is reflected in the use of a single word to describe both beauty and goodness. Likewise, the same word is often used to convey ugliness and immorality, highlighting the deep connection between physical appearance and moral character. 

Mbwoongntey, a cup for palm wine in the Congo, shaped like a kneeling person, one had on its chin, one on its stomach

A mbwoongntey, a cup used for palm wine in the Congo

Smooth skin is attractive.

While scarification has been a long-standing tradition in African art, the idea of smooth skin as a standard of beauty is also prevalent. In many African cultures, smooth, flawless skin is considered attractive, healthy and a sign of good hygiene. To achieve that look, some sculptures are polished to a bright shine using leaves or stones. 

But the idea of beauty extends beyond the individual. “A smooth surface is a metaphor for smooth, harmonious social relationships,” Petridis explains.

On the flip side, crusty, rough surfaces are seen as ugly.

African dancers form Guinea wearing horned helmets and tribal dresses

A group of dancers from Guinea wearing Bamana Komo helmets with elements from the hyena, a nighttime scavenger.

Ugliness is tied to nature, the wilderness and animals, whereas beauty is connected to humans, the village and community. 

Nature spirits are thought to cause misfortune, illness and even death. Some sculptures were designed to be so strikingly beautiful they would lure in spirits, and the figure would take possession of them, avoiding the trouble they would have otherwise caused. 

“The sculpture becomes an abode, a home for the spirit, and it will receive offerings in order to keep it happy, and therefore remedy the problem in question,” Petridis explains.

Baule monkey figure from Cote d'Ivoire of baboon-headed man

This Baule monkey figure from the Côte d’Ivoire features a baboon-headed man representing a bush spirit and untamed wildness.

There’s a duality common throughout Africa: culture vs. nature, community vs. the wilderness. As such, idealized beauty is always presumed to be of human origin, associated with the realm of the village and society. 

At the other end of the spectrum, ugliness correlates with the wild and untamed realm of the jungle outside the boundaries of the village. The works that are deliberately created to be ugly reflect the widely shared belief that coarse and asymmetrical animal-like forms correspond with bad character, malignant magic and death. 

This dichotomy reflects the central role of community and social harmony in African cultures — and the threats that come from the untamed, uncontrolled and unpredictable aspects of nature.

Ngolo mask from the DRC with orange face with wide eyes, antelope horns and straw beard

This ngolo mask from the DRC features antelope horns to convey courage, while its protruding eyes signal aggression in the hopes of discouraging outsiders from approaching a boys’ training camp.

“Artists who intend to instill fear through their objects may represent ugliness by mimicking or referencing animals, especially powerful and fearsome ones,” Petridis says. “Additional features will be incorporated into fantastic compositions that comprise elements sourced literally from the natural world — actual animal parts: hides, horns, teeth, fur.”

Ugliness in African art has a power of its own. “They turn it into a dark, dangerous object, an object that inspires fear and terror and therefore also power and authority,” he continues. 

Nkisi figure from the DRC representing a folklore blacksmith hero, with antelope horns and animal skin skirt

Antelope horns sit atop a nkisi figure from the DRC that depicts a blacksmith from folklore. It held great power and was created to protect an entire village.

Some art has elements of both beauty and ugliness and is meant to astonish. 

Petridis refers to this as “awesome art,” what Westerners might call the sublime. They are meant to both fascinate and terrify.

Nkisi Nkondi from the DRC, a wooden figurine with one raised arm and a body full of nails and other metal pieces

Nails are driven into a nkisi nkondi, like this one from the DRC, to atone for transgressions. If someone breaks an oath made to the figurine, it’s said to come to life to mete out justice.

“In a literal sense, it refers to objects that are meant to be awe-inspiring. They will literally stop you in your tracks,” he says. “And these objects are considered to be both beautiful and ugly, both terrorizing and attractive at once.”

A large wooden d'mba shoulder mask of woman with scarification and large breasts next to a female guard from the Art Institute of Chicago

A large d’mba shoulder mask used during ceremonies features scarification and pendulous breasts — aspects of the feminine ideal among the Baga people of Guinea.

Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beholder

When judging African art, see where there are overlaps or differences from your own preconceived notions, Petridis suggests. Always keep in mind that African art should always be viewed through the language and vocabulary of the culture it comes from.

“Beauty is essential and important and critical in the arts of Africa as well,” he concludes. “But it’s not necessarily the beauty that you as an outsider would see in it.” 

To avoid imposing your own tastes and preferences on art objects, you have to be open to learn and read about the culture in which they function, and what meanings and purposes they convey. And that new understanding is a thing of beauty. –Wally

The King and Queen of Oddities

A Q&A with Ryan Matthew Cohn, with special guest Regina Marie Cohn! We chat about the Oddities Flea Market and a spooky encounter with a disembodied hand. And, of course, it wouldn’t be an interview with the Cohns without mention of disarticulated skeletons.

Ryan Matthew Cohn in blindfold and Regina Marie Cohn with polka dot face mask by taxidermied bird with wings outstretched

A portrait of Ryan Matthew and Regina Marie Cohn that reflects their delightfully warped sensibilites

Duke and I have always been drawn to the bizarre. I mean, we put the Island of Dead Dolls at the top of our CDMX itinerary, and we made sure to hit the Catacombs of Paris. Then there’s the oh-so-creepy Mummy Museum of Guanajuato

Looking around our place, that fondness for the unusual extends to our décor. A taxidermied monitor lizard. A fertility doll from Cameroon loaded with beads, animal horns and bells. A desiccated chameleon from the witch market in the Marrakech souk. A Javanese puppet head of a little girl in pigtails whose tongue pops out when you pull a string. Duke has decided that our style is “mélange de strahnge.”

Turns out we’re not alone. Ryan Matthew Cohn has made a career out of the growing passion for the weird and the creepy. He was the host of the TV show Oddities and now helps run the Oddities Flea Market with his wife, Regina. –Wally

Ryan and Regina Cohn's home, filled with skulls, taxidermied specimens, holy relics and other oddities

A glimpse into the Cohn’s oddity-filled Victorian home in Westport, Connecticut

What first got you interested in all things odd? 

Ryan: I actually don’t know. I just always have been interested in things that are out of the ordinary. I don’t know if it was a specific event or item necessarily that sparked my interest. But I do know that even when I was very young, I had a huge interest in collecting. And so I think it really started with that. And then as I became a little bit older, my tastes seemed to gravitate towards things that were a little bit more odd in nature. And then, you know, they sort of blossomed into what they are now.

How do you define an oddity?

Ryan: People use this term, sometimes when we’re talking, they say, “Oh, well, that was different.” And I’m always like, “Tell me more. I happen to like things that are different.” So I think in terms of what oddities are like as a genre, it’s anything that’s sort of out the ordinary, curious, or, you know, just strays from the norm. 

For a really long time, it was stuff that people didn’t really want. It was stuff that you didn’t really find very often. And certainly a core group of people were collecting that stuff — but it's not anywhere near what it is today.

So oddity collecting has become more popular?

Ryan: Oh, for sure. Oddities is like a household word. Now, back in the day, you just had to hope that you’re gonna find that stuff. And actually, I used to find much more, because there was not much competition. And I think because it’s grown into such a huge subgenre of collecting and lifestyle, it’s made it definitely more challenging to find stuff. But that’s why we started the market.

What prompted you to start the Oddities Flea Market?

Ryan: We felt a strong need to bring a community together that didn’t really have a specific place to go. 

Regina: It started as a one-time event in March 2017. And when we couldn’t even get people through the door because the lines were so long, we realized, oh crap, we got to do it again. So we did it again. And then we realized, OK, this is really popular. We’ll bring it back next year. And then we started doing it twice a year. And the following year, I was like, I have a crazy idea: Let’s go to LA. 

Finding venues was always the hardest thing for us, because we’re not the type of event that is going to set up in a hotel or a gymnasium. We’re always trying to find the coolest event spaces, and that’s why we don't do a lot of them. We’re definitely more quality over quantity in general. So I don’t see myself doing more than three or four a year. Right now, it looks like New York, LA and Chicago are always going to be on the roster. And then if I can pull off a fourth one, I will. 

What’s your vetting process for the market?  

Ryan: It’s not necessarily that someone’s not odd enough. It’s curated in a very specific way so that we don't oversaturate what you’ll find in the market. We try not to have too many jewelers, or too many people that work with insects, or too many taxidermists. We try to really keep a very natural flow that makes sense so that when patrons come in there, they have a little bit of everything. We are very selective. It’s a pretty strict process that we go through in terms of deciding who’s going to be at a future market.

You’re dealing with taxidermied animals and sometimes human skulls and the like. Do you ever reject items? What part do ethical or cultural sensibilities play?

Ryan: You have to have a tremendous amount of respect for any of those types of things that you’re dealing with. Of course, with taxidermy, most people claim that they have ethically sourced specimens. So we tend to look for taxidermists that use ethically sourced specimens. Same goes for all of the natural specimens that people use in their artwork and such.

Ryan and Regina Cohn's collection of religious icons, including hands and heads of saints

Ryan and Regina’s stunning collection of curiosities includes Spanish santos figures, reliquaries and other ancient artifacts.

What’s the favorite oddity you own?

Ryan: It’s hard to pick one — there’s so many different categories, at least in our collection. Right now, I’m very much into collecting early occult books — books that are from the 14th, 15th and 16th century. And I think those my most coveted items at the moment.

I do collect a lot of saints and reliquaries. Regina and I travel in Europe quite frequently. And every time I go to Europe, I realize that we’re just looking at the literal remains or scraps of what once existed there. It’s very difficult to find the types of things that we collect in America. So, when I go to Europe, I usually fill up a whole suitcase full of paintings and other such things. 

So other kinds of collections, I really try to focus my attention on early forms of memento mori: artwork, sculpture and paintings showcasing the skeleton, because my passion started in anatomy. 

What oddity of all time do you covet the most?

Ryan: You know, it’s funny — there have been large collections that I didn’t end up getting because maybe they went to auction. I’m one of those people, personally, that if an entire museum is for sale, I want to buy the whole thing. I don’t want one or two pieces. I want everything because then I can kind of figure out what I want with select pieces later: Keep the pieces that make the most sense with our own curations and collection, and then maybe sell some of the other pieces to help fund that collection. I feel like at this point in my collecting career, I have a lot of the pieces that I’ve always sought after.

What do you mean when you say you buy a museum?

Ryan: Say a natural history museum had to shut its doors. I’ll buy the whole thing. Or say a private lifelong collector had been compiling things for his whole life. I’ll get a call and we’ll buy it. I won’t buy two or three items. I'll buy like 3,000.

It’s funny when people are like, “Hey, I have this huge collection. Do you want pictures?” I’m like, “Not really.” I’d rather come there and assess it. Because, you know, you need to be there. You need to be ready to drop money and pounce on a collection. Because if you don’t, or someone’s thought about something for too long, there’s been too much time to think and it’s probably gonna go to auction. The kiss of death.

Have there been any supernatural incidents with your oddities?

Ryan: Both Regina and myself have always been open to the idea of spirits and energies and even actual ghosts in our home. But we’ve actually never really seen anything. We’ve just had a couple strange occurrences like, a doll ending up in another part of the house, but not moved by the dogs. 

Regina: One time I was struggling to pull off a zipper. And I turned around, thinking Ryan was helping me — only he wasn’t. He was downstairs. And I found myself making eye contact with a wax hand that was just staring at me.

Ryan: Mind you, the wax hand actually has a glass eye in the middle of it.

I don’t get freaked out about this stuff, personally. If I could get a spirit to manifest itself, I’d probably be a bit wealthier of a human being, cuz I could just charge tickets to come to my house.

Have you ever had any intense reactions from people at the market?

Ryan: Yeah, definitely. A lot of people avoid certain tables. I noticed it’s mostly taxidermy, that people are just so freaked out by it. Or we’ve had people that sort of wandered in from the street and bought a ticket only to go through the market for about two minutes. They are like, what the living hell?! No, that’s not a fake skull.

But for the most part, I think that’s only happened like a handful of times in seven years. Mostly people came to these events because they really wanted to spend time with the vendors and hang out with people.

You two seem to be kindred spirits. How did you meet — and realize you share this affinity for the bizarre?

Ryan: I lived in Brooklyn, and Regina was interested in a skull that I was parting with at the time. It led to meeting up in person because we live close. And, you know, the rest is kind of history. We said, I love you on the third date and basically started working together a year later, doing what we do now.

Regina: Yeah, and I didn’t really know what I was getting into. It was way more intense when I found myself actually entering this world. You know, I came from high fashion luxury. I was working at Agent Provocateur on Madison Avenue. So by day I’m selling lingerie and kimonos; by night I’m learning how to disarticulate a skeleton.

Two years later, I found myself working full time with Ryan. I left my 15-year fashion career to pretty much manage Ryan and then create all these markets.

Ryan: Yeah, Regina is actually the one that started the flea market. I kind of came along for the ride. I think I was more hesitant at the beginning than she was.

Wooden painted torso and head on stand with cabinet of skulls in background at the home of Ryan and Regina Cohn

The couple collects santos figures like this one-armed articulated 18th century cage doll with glass eyes.

So what’s the best part of your job? 

Ryan: The fact that it never really feels like a job. I mean, obviously there are always deadlines. And we are always very busy, considering we have no kids. We never have time to do anything because we always have our hands full with this, that or the other thing. But we truly do care about our community of people. And that’s the best part about it.

Regina: I don’t have to do the market — I do it because I feel like now the vendors rely on me to do it. That’s how they’ve really launched their businesses on another level. So that’s the fun part of what we do, the Oddities Flea Market. There’s just so much more to our daily life — like we’re writing a book right now.

I was going to ask about your future plans. Tell me about this book.

Ryan: The book I think is gonna probably launch in late 2024. We’re working with Chronicle. It’s going in the direction of telling the tale of what purchasing collections is like, our two different points of views. And then what we did with the collection. 

There are other interesting adventures that we’ve been on. Because when you’re doing this stuff all the time, you sort of take it for granted. You go, oh, yeah, we just bought a museum. And yeah, that’s really fun. But we do it so frequently that it almost doesn’t seem terribly interesting after a while. But when we tell the story, people are always intrigued and have a lot of questions. And I think the book came as a result of that.

What about your art, Ryan?

Ryan: I actually have a gallery show coming up in November in Seattle at Roq La Rue Gallery. 

Because we travel so frequently, we tend to be pretty busy. I don’t get to work on my art as frequently as I used to. But I do try to be selective. I usually feature a piece or two a year in a show.

Most of the work that I do these days is based on antiques. So for instance, at this upcoming show, I’m working with 18th century saint statues that I’m articulating. And so they’re sort of a mixture of the earlier pieces that I did with osteological specimens but using antique wood, genuine pieces that were purchased from Italy and other places that I traveled to.

Disarticulated skulls in artwork by Ryan Matthew Cohn

One of Ryan's Beauchêne exploded skulls

I know you’ve worked with skulls and broken them apart.

That’s something that I still do on occasion. But like I said, I’m very selective at this point in my career. I do as much of that stuff as I can. But it gets very, very time consuming and requires a ton of patience. 

Oddities Flea Market: A Bizarre Bazaar of Unforgettable Finds

Regina and Ryan Cohn’s warped brainchild is a fantastic journey of curious collectibles.

Shelves with small glass containers of bones and animal skulls at Oddities Flea Market

The Oddities Flea Market is filled with items to start your own cabinet of curiosities.

When I asked Wally about attending the Oddities Flea Market, an event that brings together vendors from all over the country to sell their unusual wares, his answer was a resounding yes. (Actually, he probably looked at me and said, “Uh, duh.”)

We knew we were kindred spirits when we met — but before Wally, I identified as a minimalist. He’s a maximalist and loves collecting things. Turns out that when a minimalist moves in with a maximalist, you end up with just a little bit more stuff. I decided to embrace the aesthetic and figure out ways to creatively curate vignettes. Eventually, I succumbed and became a maximalist, too. 

Our burgeoning collection of oddities consists of a human skull named Malachi that’s supposedly a World War II trophy, a taxidermied squirrel with an Elizabethan lace collar, a two-headed African fetish figure, or nkondi, stuck full of nails, and a mummified llama fetus our friend Hugo picked up for Wally in Ecuador — to name just a few. 

When it came to the fair, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew that local chef Halee Raff of Hardbitten would be there with her elevated and colorful riff on Pop-Tarts, as well as Woolly Mammoth, one of our favorite shops in the Andersonville neighborhood, but other than that I wasn’t sure what we’d find. 

Allison Fretheim Ceramics booth at the Oddities Flea Market in Chicago

Vendors from around the country have booths at the market.

Embracing the Strange: The Birth of the Oddities Flea Market

The Oddities Flea Market was founded by Regina and Ryan Cohn about six years ago. Ryan was well-versed in buying and collecting antiques and oddities while Regina was making a name for herself in fashion. They combined their passions into a traveling emporium that celebrates the weird and wonderful. 

Their first market launched in 2017 and introduced the concept of oddity collecting to the general public at the now-shuttered Brooklyn Bazaar. Since then, the Cohns have expanded to additional markets in Los Angeles and Chicago. “It’s only the second time we’ve been to Chicago,” Ryan told us. “So it was a nice reintroduction.”

Doll parts with flowers and bugs and ephemera from Sideshow Gallery's booth at the Oddities Flea Market

I am doll parts: some of the creepy-cute creations from Sideshow Gallery

This year the Chicago market was held over two days in April at Morgan Manufacturing. The red brick building predates the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 and acts as an industrial chic event space in the hip West Loop neighborhood. 

We weren’t alone in our curiosity for curiosities. When we arrived at 11 a.m. for VIP early access, there was already a small queue forming. Some lucky attendees had planned ahead and signed up to take a cat skeleton articulation class taught by Ryan. By the time we had gotten our tickets, the workshop was sold out. Next time. Maybe. 

Container of four death masks at the Wooly Mammoth booth at the Oddities Flea Market

Death masks on display from Wooly Mammoth

Not for the Faint of Heart: Entering the Fair

After checking in, we passed a booth which featured a selection of T-shirts and totes for sale (black, of course). We took a closer look and noticed that the screen-printed images were of Ryan’s personal work — Beauchêne, also known as the art of the exploded human skull.

The soundtrack for the event was provided by Dead Animal Assembly Plant, spinning songs near the entrance, with a backdrop of projections of creepy vintage cartoons. 

Dead Animal Assembly Plant DJs spin records with a large projection of classic cartoons above on white curtains

Spooky and silly classic cartoons played above DJs from Dead Animal Assembly Plant.

Wally and I couldn’t help but salivate as we passed by the selection of Hardbitten’s delectable baked goods. Nearby, the sophisticated cocktail bar offered a variety of specialty drinks, each with an intriguing name: Memento Mori, Sideshow, the Veneration, Wunderkammer. No judging, but it was a bit early for us to imbibe. If you were seeking a caffeine fix, Spiritus Coffee from Lombard, Illinois was the place to go.

Plates stacked with Hardbitten bakery's pop-tarts at Oddities Flea Market

A seclection of Hardbitten’s treats, including their riffs on Pop-Tarts

We wandered through the market, discovering an impressive variety of wondrous wares: natural history specimens, taxidermy (both artistic and traditional), creative jewelry and a few truly macabre specimens. Here are a few of our favorites. 

Young woman in black dress posing in front of large camera and light for Blkk Hand tintype photo

A woman poses for her tintype photo from Blkk Hand.

A Handful of Shadows: Blkk Hand

St. Paul-based photographer Carla Alexandra Rodriguez uses an old-school process known as wet-plate collodion to create eerily beautiful tintype portraits. This method, which dates back to the 1850s, requires precise chemistry, accurate timing and a classic large-format camera. 

Silver nitrate is used in the processing of tinplate photography and is a highly reactive chemical that can cause skin to turn black if it’s not handled properly. Her studio, Blkk Hand takes its name from this phenomenon — and is why Carla always wears gloves when working. 

Tintype photo of long-haired couple being developed by Blkk Hand photography

Nora Past, seen in a developing tintype photo, assisted at the booth.

How’s it work? The process begins with coating a metal plate with a collodion solution that contains a mixture of alcohol, ether and silver nitrate. Each plate is exposed to light in the camera, which converts the silver nitrate to silver metal. 

This challenging and time-consuming method produces incredibly detailed images with an ethereal quality, capturing the beauty of a moment in a way that no other type of photography can.

Selection of artistic curious from Momento Mori at the Oddities Flea Market

Memento Mori Los Angeles co-sponsored the flea market.

Death Becomes Them: Memento Mori Los Angeles

Our favorite booth at the flea market belonged to Memento Mori Los Angeles, run by Brad and Deidre Hartman, a Cali-based duo who create beautiful and macabre works of art. Their pieces are a reminder of the inevitability of death, while also celebrating the beauty of life.

Among their fascinating objects were skulls, insects, crystals, jewelry, and an assortment of devotional candles featuring musical artists like Siouxsie Sioux and Nick Cave. We were mesmerized at the offerings, including a riff on the infamous Fiji mermaid hoax, a glass cloche containing human teeth and a basket filled with supple leathered purses made from genuine cane toads. I was skeptical at first when I picked one up to examine it — but it was definitely real. Don’t feel too bad, though. These amphibians were originally introduced as a means of pest control, but ended up becoming an invasive species. So now, instead of eating cane beetles, they’re just hanging out as purses and looking cute. I suppose there are worse fates. 

Replica of the Fiji mermaid and other oddities on table at flea market

A replica of the Fiji mermaid, a Witchling chick and other artistic takes on taxidermy from Memento Mori Los Angeles

I was particularly drawn to their Witchlings, yellow ducklings wearing tiny witch hats, as well as a two-headed duckling called Double Trouble. Brad and Deidre’s work is a reminder to live life to the fullest and to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us, even in death.

Odds and Ends booth of fake taxidermied heads of animals on plates at the Oddities Flea Market

Playful fake taxidermied heads on display at the Odds and Ends booth

Faux Real: Odds and Ends 

We stopped by Odds and Ends, featuring the work of Atlanta-based Chloë Grass, who creates quirky faux taxidermy trophies and other oddities. She studied at the Arts University Bournemouth in the U.K., where she honed her skills in prosthetics sculpting and special effects makeup.

I loved her double-headed lamb, which was both cute and creepy. (I’m realizing I have a thing for two-headed creatures.) It was definitely a conversation starter, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw it. Chloë’s creations reflect my favorite type of art: whimsical and a little bit weird.

Container filled with vintage glass eyes

A selection of vintage fake eyes at Eyeba’s booth

I Only Have Eyes for You: Eyeba

We were blown away by Brooklyn-based jeweler Amanda Maer Huan’s booth at the flea market, Eyeba. She takes antique prosthetic eyes and sets them in sterling silver to create rings, pendants and other fine jewelry.

As we browsed her wares, Amanda gave us a brief education on the myth of the round glass eye. While the visible portion of the prosthesis appears round, the part that sits within the eye socket is actually curved like a pasta shell. They’re custom-made to match the size and color of the wearer’s functioning eye. 

Container of silver rings with fake eyes in them from Eyeba

Windows to your soul? Amazing rings from Eyeba

The rings were hypnotic. I had to literally drag Wally away.

Deadskull Curio booth at the Oddities Flea Market, with skulls, bottles, masks and other macabre items

Deadskull Curio had the most macabre offerings at the market.

A Portal to Another World: Deadskull Curio 

Deadskull Curio was the most global booth at the Oddities Flea Market. It had everything from hand-carved wood masks to antique Asian marionette puppets to Tibetan kapala skull cups. They even had black and white morgue and crime scene photos from the 1960s, vertebrae and a horrific preserved cat’s head in a jar of formaldehyde.

Photo of dead woman in her coffin from the 1960s

The collection of death photos had a warning

The booth is owned by Paul Abrahamian, who, randomly, competed in two seasons of Big Brother. He was a cool guy who was obviously passionate about his collection. Items were flying off the shelves as we were looking at them — but we decided to pass on the cat’s head specimen. It would have been like having a pet cemetery in our living room, and we’re not sure our cat Bowzer would have appreciated it.

Teacup reading "Syphilitic" from Miss Havisham's Curiosities

The saucy teacups from Miss Havisham’s Curiosities were inspired by the owner’s cheeky grandmother.

Steeped in Humor: Miss Havisham’s Curiosities 

Miss Havisham's Curiosities is a line of insult teacups created by Melissa Johnson. The idea was inspired by two sources: the jilted bride trapped in time in Charles Dickens’ novel Great Expectations, and Melissa’s grandmother, who expressed herself by writing offensive things on broken or chipped teacups with nail polish and then selling them at her antique shop.

On the outside, these teacups are proper, often vintage, china. But on the inside, they’re hiding naughty surprises: cheeky insults written in cursive:  “Syphilitic,” “No one likes you!” and “Not today, Satan!” The teacups are the perfect way to spill the tea and say what you really mean…without actually having to say it.

Artwork by Katie Gamb showing girl in ghost costume standing in forest of poison plants

Hidden in the Poison Forest, 2021

We were drawn to Katie Gamb’s artwork because of its twee yet sinister quality.

Sugar and Spice, But Not Everything Nice: Katie Gamb 

Katie Gamb is a Milwaukee-based artist who creates whimsical and macabre worlds in her illustrations. Her work is a love letter to a childhood spent lost in books, where animals, humans and monsters like skeletons all live together in a world of wonder. As Wally and I looked at her work, I turned to him and said, “They’re adorable at first glance — but they get a little creepy when you look closer.”

“That’s exactly what I go for,” Katie said, smiling at us.

Artwork by Katie Gamb showing cute skeleton surrounded by plants and birds, including one in its ribcage

My Heart’s Still Beating, 2019

Like much of the art we appreciate, Gamb’s works tread the line between creepy and cute.

One piece depicted a bird fluttering within the rib cage of a skeleton, while another showed a girl dressed as a ghost in a forest of poisonous plants. Katie’s imagination is a portal to a strange and wondrous world, where anything is possible. I regret not circling back to purchase a sticker featuring a sad cat playing an accordion with a feather sticking out of its mouth.

Katie’s work reminds us that the world isn’t always as it seems. There’s beauty in the darkness.

Artwork by Feral Femme Rachaela DiRosaria of freak show-themed wooden boxes at the Oddities Flea Market

Feral Femme Art’s booth evoked a freakshow from the past with interactive artworks.

Step Right Up, Folks: Feral Femme Art

We ended the show at the Feral Femme Art booth, with a conversation with Rachaela DiRosaria, a New Orleans-based folk artist who creates assemblages that evoke the nostalgia of Depression-era circus and sideshow advertising. Their hand-painted figures and moveable parts bring these sideshow performers and circus freaks to life. 

Rachaela DiRosaria and Zach Wager from Dead Animal Assembly Plant at the Oddities Flea Market

Artist Rachaela DiRosaria posing with Zach Wager, who spun records at the market.

Feral Femme art of woman suspended over bed of nails with "Inveterate" at the top

Inveterate

Feral Femme art showing angry clown with open mouth

Funhouse

Feral Femme art showing tattooed woman

The Tattooed Woman

Rachaela’s work is infused with a dark humor that’s both playful and unsettling — an interactive stagecraft of delight.

Two-headed duckling and blue butterflies in cloches at Memento Mori's booth at the Oddities Flea Market

Double Trouble has found a new home amid the other oddities chez Duke and Wally.

After making our way through the different vendors, I turned to Wally and said, “I’d like to go back and get Double Trouble. Are you cool with that?” To which Wally replied, “Obvi.” 

Exploring the Oddities Flea Market was a quirky adventure that appealed to our inner freaks, and we’re glad we had the chance to attend. 

The next iteration will be held at the Globe Theatre in LA on October 7, 2023 — a perfect day, in my humble opinion, as it’s also my birthday.  –Duke