The Not So Innocents Abroad

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Puerto Vallarta Botanic Garden: Mexico’s Eden

Our budding romance with this lush nature preserve, which gets our vote for the best thing to do in PV. 

The orange-hued Hacienda de Oro houses a restaurant and gift shop, with the Cactus House to the right.

At first, we didn’t embrace the laidback, beach-oriented vibe of Puerto Vallarta. Duke and I are used to filling our itineraries with things to do — and the most culture PV has to offer are drag shows like Mama Tits’ Confessions of a Ho! (you couldn’t make this shit up).

Needless to say, we were excited to learn about the Puerto Vallarta Botanic Garden. And, not surprisingly, our trip there was our favorite part of our vacation.

We didn’t come fully prepared — no bug spray, Duke wearing sandals and me in suede Vans — but kudos to you for reading this to prepare for your visit. 

Look how happy exploring the botanic garden made Wally.

Take a Hike

If you’re into hiking, there are numerous trails through the surrounding jungle. We started along one behind the Cactus House and found ourselves down by the river. I squatted down to wet my hair and neck. I’m not sure if we would have gone swimming in the brown water even if we had swimsuits, but it might be a good idea to wear yours just in case you really need to cool off. 

The Cactus House is filled with succulents and, yes, cacti.

The fountain in front of the Hacienda de Oro features an eagle, a symbol of Mexico.

Wally cools off in the river.

A group of teens go swimming.

We continued over some slippery rocks and passed a group of local teens wading in the river before continuing along the Jaguar Trial. A sign informed us that its rating level was “difficult.”

“Would’ve been nice to have that marked on the map,” I muttered. 

But Jaguar turned out not to be too difficult; it’s just uphill for much of the time. I was kind of hoping we’d run across the eponymous feline, but no such luck. 

The adorable pink chapel on the grounds, Our Lady of the Gardens

Goin’ to the Chapel

After the hike, we wandered a few of the areas near the restaurant and gift shop, including the octagonal conservatory of native plants, before crossing the Bridge of Dreams and stumbling upon the adorable pink church, Our Lady of the Gardens.

You can’t tell from this angle, but this conservatory is octagonal-shaped.

A priest in a jaguar pelt

Masks cover the back wall.

A statue of a man holding maize, one of the most important crops to the Mesoamericans who lived here

This pyramid is a replica of the one at La Casa Azul, Frida Kahlo’s home museum in Mexico City.

“If they had planters like this at the gift shop, I would have bought some,” Duke says.

Duke on the Bridge of Dreams

El Puente de los Sueños leads to the chapel.

We couldn’t go inside the small chapel because they were putting up new wallpaper — a  bright yellow background filled with plants, birds and butterflies. It’s going to give the space a modern feel and make it oh-so-Instagrammable. 

Wally on the pink stairs in front of the chapel

The man in charge of the project came over to chat with us, giving us advice (buy some insect repellent and carry it everywhere in defense of the no-see-ums; take a day trip to San Sebastián). 

The Infant of Prague in the graveyard

The Virgin Mary watches over some tombs.

Graves, some with elaborate statuary like this small church with the Virgin Mary within, line the hills on either side of the chapel.

There are graves scattered on either side of the hill leading up to the church — with those of pets to one side. If I happen to die while I’m in the area, I couldn’t hope for a better eternal resting place. 

When the staff put out this tray of fruit, one colorful species of bird after another stopped by to dine.

Birdwatching at the Hacienda

By this time, we were hungry and in need of refreshment, so we went back to the Hacienda de Oro and had a great lunch — guacamole, grilled fish tacos, chicken quesadillas Xochimilco and two Cadillac margaritas, por su puesto. (Incidentally, the margs were quite strong and left us un poco barrato). 

You can’t take a break on the Hacienda de Oro balcony without getting a margarita. Just be careful: They’re strong!

The food was tasty — whipped up in this open-air kitchen.

A violist stood by the tables playing songs, including “Dust in the Wind.” At first I was a bit annoyed we’d be pressured into tipping him, but it ended up being nice having the strains of music waft around us, and when I looked up at him, his eyes crinkled with a grin — and I didn’t mind slipping him some pesos in appreciation.

He was a nice guy and during one of his breaks, he told us to look over the balcony, pointing down to a spot where the staff had left out tropical fruits to attract a variety of birds in a rainbow array of bright colors. 

A hummingbird at the feeder on the balcony

Next to stop by was a woodpecker.

He saw how excited we were — I could take up birdwatching if they were all this colorful and amazing — and kept pointing out new birds to us. 

After lunch we did some shopping. I can tell you that the handicrafts here are among the best you’ll find in the PV area. (The ubiquitous markets along the waterfront, which peddle tourist-oriented fare, get dismissively dubbed “mercados de basura,” or “trash markets,” by Duke.)

And the prices aren’t bad. I bought a blue wool dinosaur stuffed animal, a cloth Frida ornament and a ceramic skull rattle. 

Plants and pots for sale

A skeleton and marigold for Día de los Muertos

St. Francis holding a skull to contemplate death

We found the items on sale at the gift shop to be of high quality at a fair price.

To wrap up our visit, we went back to the main road and found the offshoot that leads to the Gazebo Bridge and then crossed the Swinging Bridge to the Vanilla Plantation. 

Duke wasn’t afraid to cross the Swinging Bridge.

Wally in the ironwork gazebo

A plant-filled fountain we passed en route to the Vanilla Plantation

Ready to call it a day, we headed back up the road to the entrance, where there’s an open-air hut. The staff there can call you a taxi with a fixed price. The Zona Románitca is just under 40 minutes north.

Lily pads and lotuses in one of the ponds in the gardens

All in all, we spent the better part of the day at the botanic garden, getting in a hike, eating a great meal, seeing exotic birds, doing some shopping and exploring the lush grounds. Tickets are well worth the 200 peso (about $9.50 when we visited) admission charge. By the way, kids under 4 get in free.

The beach has its perks. And drag shows are fun once in a while. But we wouldn’t visit PV without a trip here. It’s anything but your garden variety attraction. –Wally

See this map in the original post

Jardín Botánico Vallarta (Puerto Vallarta Botanical Gardens)

Carretera Puerto Vallarta
Carretera Costera a Barra de Navidad Kilómetro 24
48425 Jalisco
México


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